Spada, Wally Spada...
Opening with a bongo drum-driven, slow-motion shootout, MAGNUM COP gets underway.
Private investigator, Wally Spada (Maurizio Merli) is on the case of a zillionaire's missing daughter. Dressed in Junior Samples' overalls, Spada brings his reddish, blondish hair helmet, and Burt Reynolds' mustache along for the ride. Slipping out of his Hee Haw tuxedo, and into Mr. Rogers' sweater, he's ready for action!
When thugs attack, it's karate time! Spada's overwhelming, perfectly-placed blows ignite, sounding like frozen turkeys being slapped against sacks of cement!
Next, it's off to the strip club to look for clues. Therein, Wally witnesses the lovely performer, Brigitte (Joan Collins), giving forth her glorious gift to humanity. Apparently, Wally needs her help.
Fans of Ms. Collins take note: Indeed, she doth disrobe delightfully!
Oh no!
More thugs attack, pounding Wally's melon with sounds not unlike those caused by 10-lb. Salamis hitting wet pavement! This all leads to an interminable foot chase, and a sinister turn in the plot.
Have no fear! Brigitte returns, and yes, her clothing dissolves like magic before our eyes! All followers of Ms. Collins simply must see this movie before taking their last breath!
Now, back to whatshisname, and whatever it was he was supposed to be doing.
If it weren't for the long stretches of dullness, this could have been a cheeeze classic. Next time, more karate! Less wally! More Brigitte!...
Private investigator, Wally Spada (Maurizio Merli) is on the case of a zillionaire's missing daughter. Dressed in Junior Samples' overalls, Spada brings his reddish, blondish hair helmet, and Burt Reynolds' mustache along for the ride. Slipping out of his Hee Haw tuxedo, and into Mr. Rogers' sweater, he's ready for action!
When thugs attack, it's karate time! Spada's overwhelming, perfectly-placed blows ignite, sounding like frozen turkeys being slapped against sacks of cement!
Next, it's off to the strip club to look for clues. Therein, Wally witnesses the lovely performer, Brigitte (Joan Collins), giving forth her glorious gift to humanity. Apparently, Wally needs her help.
Fans of Ms. Collins take note: Indeed, she doth disrobe delightfully!
Oh no!
More thugs attack, pounding Wally's melon with sounds not unlike those caused by 10-lb. Salamis hitting wet pavement! This all leads to an interminable foot chase, and a sinister turn in the plot.
Have no fear! Brigitte returns, and yes, her clothing dissolves like magic before our eyes! All followers of Ms. Collins simply must see this movie before taking their last breath!
Now, back to whatshisname, and whatever it was he was supposed to be doing.
If it weren't for the long stretches of dullness, this could have been a cheeeze classic. Next time, more karate! Less wally! More Brigitte!...
- Dethcharm
- 15. Juni 2021