Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

I am actually not sure if "Jay and Silent Bob Reboot" even got released. I cannot imagine how it could because that would mean that some studio executives somewhere would actually have to endure this "film" for two hours.

I doubt this review will help anybody because I could not even make it through half of the "movie". I watched it up to a "scene" where the blond fella who is Jay and Silent Bob go to some fast food restaurant, and the scene was so stupid it defies any kind of logic of how this thing would ever get released even on some obscure cable station. Kevin Smith doesn't speak when he plays this character so he just makes these dumb faces and moves his head around and somehow this is supposed to be really funny. Do even the most diehard fans actually laugh at this? Does Kevin Smith think he has great physical comedy skills or something? I really cannot think of many performances that come off more awkward, it just doesn't work at all. I don't want to ever think about this stupid thing ever again. Can you imagine how many good screenplays were never produced and this ridiculous crap gets made. Truly just painful in every way. It's not even fun to make fun of it because it's just too boring. Maybe Kevin Smith can take this act on stage and stand there and make those stupid faces to all his diehard fans.

I don't know what the story is even about or what happens to silent bob and his friend, just do yourself a favor and never look at this one. If your friend suggests watching this, just punch him in the stomach and go to bed.

I will not even rate this thing because I cannot seem to find a way to give it less than one star.

Following his near-death heart attack, Kevin Smith self-finances a film that redefines self-indulgence. A film in which he casts his friends and family, and not only allows you to catch up with characters from his previous films, but is impenetrable to anyone without a working knowledge of them.

Having learned that Hollywood is planning a reboot of "Bluntman and Chronic" a failed superhero franchise from a decade past. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) must again cross the country from New Jersey to California to stop the movie, based on themselves, from being made. A chance encounter has Jay reunite with Justice (Shannon Elizabeth) who informs him that he has a daughter, Millennium (Harley Quinn Smith).

If, by any chance, you're planning on watching this movie having not previously watched the films that make up Smith's view-askew-niverse, just don't. 'Impenetrable' really is the right word, character's come and go without explanation, many lines are call backs to something that happened, or was said in one of the previous movies and without that back knowledge I'm not sure that the film would even make sense to you. This is not to say that with that prior knowledge, the film is brilliant, or good, or even passable. The flaws are apparent, even to those of us that do have it. The performances are generally poor, the story is weak (even if you accept the meta-commentary aspect of the film rebooting "strike back") and most of the jokes don't land. It is a tick box exercise in seeing a character, or actor again, with everything else hung around that. I'm so happy that Jason Mewes is still alive to be in the film that this seems like a churlish comment, but his dentures bend his lips into such an odd pout I kept thinking that it was someone else and it was a constant distraction.

However. As it came to an end - I found I couldn't bring myself to actually hate it. There was just enough in the moments with Ben Affleck, Chris Hemsworth, Stan Lee, Millie's interactions with Jay and the stuff at Chronic-con to drag the score up a little and make me look forward to, when hopefully shorn of quite as much indulgence, "Clerks 3" and "Mallrats 2" see the light of day.

If you've found yourself at a moment in time where you're about to sit down and partake in the newest entry into Kevin Smith's View Askewniverse, the extremely meta and self-parody heavy Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, you're doing so for a very particular reason and set of expectations, that Smith's ode to the good old days of his independent career will most certainly deliver on.

Reboot, to be clear, is not a great movie in itself, it's hastily put together, has a painfully long in the tooth finale and features a bare bones story that is not worth much discussion but with a new, more sentimental life view driving star, writer and director Smith, Reboot is somehow still highly likable in a way in which only this well established brand and set of characters can do.

After recovering from a very serious and near fatal heart attack, you can sense throughout that Reboot has come from a place of good intentions as Smith throws his famous stoner duo Jay and Silent Bob into a Hollywood defacing and musing on parenthood and love tale that sees the well-liked filmmaker in the best state his been in over the last decade after such debacles as Yoga Hosiers and the horrific Tusk.

With so much baggage and background, seeing Jay and Silent Bob back together is like spending time with old friends as Jason Mewes and Smith prove, that despite being now to old for this type of thing, they've still got it, as the duo find themselves on a cross country journey that is pretty much an excuse for Smith to get the gang back together again in what's a star-stuffed affair that is going to have Smith die-hards salivating at the very anticipation of whose coming up next.

From old time Smith creations like Ben Affleck's Holden McNeil, Matt Damon's Loki, Shannon Elizabeth's Justice, Jason Lee's Brodie Bruce and Brian O'Halloran's Dante Hicks, Reboot is absolutely loaded with throwbacks, character beats and even story conclusions as Smith and his leading collection of players set about ensuring Hollywood doesn't go ahead with further adventures of Bluntman and Chronic.

With so much reference and homage present across the entire run-time of Reboot, it makes itself a must-watch for long time Smith fans and while it's by no means as good as Smith's most accomplished and memorable cult hits, there's something about the fact Reboot isn't trying to be anything that it's not in a movie making climate that often tries it's hardest to float downstream, even if it would be wise from here on out for Smith to retire these characters from future solo outings.

Final Say -

Far from cinematic greatness, Jay and Silent Bob Reboot is a film for the fans, giving them exactly what they expect in a refreshingly uncompromising manner, making this film a winner for all those that matter.

3 tater tots out of 5

Its okay to put the dope down. Kev must have thought this was funnier than it was. The ending is better than the whole movie so stay for the credits.

When they learn that their alter egos are the subject of a reboot the eponymous Jay and Silent Bob head off to Hollywood to prevent the film from being made. Along the way they encounter some unexpected cargo and learn some home truths/unexpected life lessons whilst undertaking this journey...

Whilst I found the Jay and silent Bob reboot to be fairly enjoyable it did not really get the belly laughs from me that the original film got; although I am prepared to accept that I watched the original film at the cinema and haven't watched it since. Therefore, perhaps as I'm now quite a bit older (and believe me it's depressing for me to hear teenagers refer to people born before the 1990's as being old - like dude wtf??). However, there is a slight issue in watching 2 men who are in their late 40's still trying to behave like they are in their 20's. In fairness, the film offsets this slightly with Jay's character being forced to grow up a bit, but somehow it just doesn't work quite as well here or come off as convincingly.

The story in itself is quite flimsy and silly and in some ways it's hard to overlook the fact that this film may have merely acted as a very cheap way for a lot of cast members from Kevin Smith's previous films just to have something of a reunion. I can imagine that they all had fun making this film, but the feeling is that it was probably more fun for them than it was for the audience.

Not wishing to be too mean I have to admit that the film still has its funny moments and as director Kevin Smith deserves some credit for the self-deprecating approach that he brought to the material (which is arguably one of the film's biggest strengths).

It doesn't touch the original film and the sheer number of cameos shoehorned into the film does make the film reek of desperation, but the film still had some funny moments, but the film itself will probably appeal more to Kevin Smith and his peers rather than a mainstream audience.