Haus des Schreckens

Christopher Lee and Julian Glover head the cast in a story about a pushy and overbearing theatre director obsessed with the macabre. Mwahahaha, etc. The eye candy is provided by Jenny Till and Lelia Goldoni (who lately died, God rest her), but the sexiest moment is provided by whoever that dancing lady is pretending to be a tribal African about to sacrifice a victim. Not to worry, it's all part of the guignol, my dears. Lee is the sinister director, Glover is his antagonist of sorts, a surgeon with a damaged hand, looking out for the lady he is romantically pursuing (Goldoni). Our doc also has police connections, so he's able to follow the case of a serial, vampiric murderer at large in Paris. Could the murders and the theatre's productions be connected somehow?

Good performances all round, but it's never particularly scary and the fact that they're French characters (mostly) being played by Brits as if this version of Paris was somewhere in London, well, it doesn't lend itself to versimilitude. In all honesty the plot is pure tosh, though I'll admit I saw a plot synopsis before viewing that did rather give the game away. I won't spoil it for you.

Best line in the movie: "If you find the outside world too tough there's always the asylum, and if that doesn't work, the river." How's that for cold?