A Vacation in Hell

This made-for-TV movie starts out like a sexier version of "Gilligan's Island". Five people leave a swinging 70's type island resort in an undisclosed country (where the women of all ages are unbelievably gorgeous). There is only one guy and four woman--Priscilla Barnes (who was later on "Three's Company") is the blonde ditz, Andrea Marcovvi is her brunette roommate with "man issues", Barbara "Agent 99" Feldman is a middle-aged mother, and Maureen "Marcia Brady" McCormack (still stuck playing a teenager five years after "The Brady Bunch" was cancelled) is her daughter. The women (except for Feldon) are all unaccountably attracted to the douchebag guy, and at times you could cut the sexual tension with a knife (and you'd have to, since none of it is obviously ever going to get released in a tame TV movie like this).

The plot starts when their boat wrecks on a remote part of the island and they unwisely to decide to walk back to the resort through the jungle. There are a couple of dark-skinned natives lurking about, and for awhile the movie turns into a cross between "Deliverance" and "Walkabout" without being a fraction as good as either. The most annoying characters do die fairly horribly, however, so it's not a total loss.

The British director David Greene did two very good theatrical movies in Britain, "I Start Counting" and "The Strange Affair", and the very decent Anglo-American horror film "The Shuttered Room". He definitely knew his away around attractive actresses (Jenny Agutter, Susan George, Carol Lynley, etc.), but story-wise he has little or nothing to work with here. He does seem to have filmed this with three cameras--one focused on Barnes' cleavage, one on her (and sometimes McCormick's) hot-pants clad ass, and one filming everything else. Barnes is very sexy (although she was better in the similar theatrical film "Tintorera" where she gets her kit off and almost gets eaten by a giant shark). Marccovi and McCormick are similarly easy on the eyes, but the former is saddled with an irritating character and the latter is miscast and turns in a truly wretched performance. Feldon still looks good, but she stays more conservatively dressed than the other women and is really give no opportunity to act (which, if you've seen her in "Smile" you know she can do far better than any of her co-stars here).

This is far from the worst TV movie made (it doesn't even have Jane Seymour or Delta Burke in it, for christsakes!), but it's not great either.

Well, I saw this movie a while ago. I thought it was good, but cheap. By cheap I mean you sit through 2 hours waiting to see why this native is following them, then when you find out why, you want to rewind and watch something else. It lives up to its expectations until the last 10 minutes. It has a few good lines, but definitely too many repetitive ones. I liked the acting.

A single man takes 2 women, a mother and a daughter on a boat ride to a secluded beach from their vacation club on a raft. The raft pops when they reach the beach. They decide to wait, but there's a problem. The man rented it for 2 days. They decide to try to find their way back to the club but run into trouble along the way including finding dead animals on sticks, tigers, and natives. When they kill one native, another native comes after them. They try to run, but he keeps catching up with them. After 2 deaths, the purpose comes clear.

I loved Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady) as the daughter on the trip. There is one messed up part where she dances to soft music and it looks weird. I gave this a vote of 8/10 and *** stars.

Well, if it comes on, watch it. It is a rare one. Don't let my review trick you. You will never find this one on video, of course, I have it. Just be warned. The "Terror Trap" web site claims it to be a horror. It is more of a Drama/Thriller/Adventure.

This movie used to air on the weekends quite often, so I ended up seeing it eventually when there was nothing else to do.

Sitcom ladies Barbara Feldon (Get Smart), Maureen McCormick (Brady Bunch) and Prisilla Barnes (Three's Company) are joined by Andrea Marcovicci (not Pamela Bellwood) as they are led through the tropics by a guide who is eventually killed by a native lad.

Peculiar moments of bonding for the women, such as when they sing the "London's Burning" song.

The final fate of one of the women is interesting, then we learn what the native boy is really after. LIked the way it was done with the gun as Barnes was totally terrorized.

The conclusion seemed obvious, the survivors made their way back to civilization.

It would be fun to see this one and "Five Desperate Women" (1971) as a box set.

You'll feel like you've experienced a vacation in Hell after you have sat down and watched this horrible TV movie. This movie is an exercise in over-acting (very bad over-acting) to situations that made out to be more than what they are. I won't give away the plot, but once you realize why the people in this film are running from the native man in the film you will demand the two wasted hours of your life back. The only plus is seeing Marcia Brady running around in a bikini!

Can there be a worst film? Even Ed Wood at his horrific worst couldn't come up with something this bad. Cheesy, stupid, long-winded, preposterous...and those are the good points. I saw this trash back in the early 80's when I was incredibly bored to begin with, and actually sat through the entire thing without blowing my brains out, although that probably would have been a more pleasant experience. I actually remembered it because it was so bad. It makes me sad in a way because some of the best directors got their start by making TV movies (ie Spielberg) and it was a wonderful way for them to get their initial material before the public, but crap like this just totally killed the entire process.