White House Down (2013)
1/2 (out of 4)
To quote Roger Ebert: "I hated, hated, hated this movie." Roland Emmerich's latest disaster is about a cop (Channing Tatum) who is taking his daughter on a tour of the White House when terrorist take it over and try to take the President (Jamie Foxx) hostage. Now the cop, whose daughter can't really stand him, must try to impress her by saving the day and her favorite President. For starters, go watch OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN as it's a much better action movie and deals with the same subject. I'm sorry but if Emmerich were making movies back in the 70s they'd be lucky to play third bill at a drive-in just before the sun comes up. I really can't wrap my brain around how someone can make such bad movies one after another. Is he doing it on purpose? Surely he didn't make this film as bad as it is without doing it on purpose. Everything from the story to the acting to the CGI effects are just downright bad and all of it has Emmerich's style behind it. I mean, were we really supposed to find this movie touching and patriotic? The Foxx character is obviously "inspired" by Obama but if this was meant to be a tribute then they failed because it comes across as really embarrassing. Even worse are the bits of comedy, which includes some of the worst one-liners that you're ever going to hear. Even worse still are the awful action scenes with some of the worst looking CGI action effects that you're going to see this side of a SyFy production. Then, you have an incredibly awful subplot dealing with the cop's teenage daughter who is a complete brat but they try to make her out as some sort of patriotic hero. This entire bit of the story is just a complete embarrassment and it made me cringe as I watched it. I won't call out the actress but it was just a really bad position that the director put her in and it's almost as bad as Jaden Smith in AFTER EARTH. Let's pray that the two never team up. Both Tatum and Foxx are clearly just picking up paychecks and the great character actors like James Woods, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Allen Jenkins are just wasted in worthless roles. There are some moments here that are so incredibly bad that I couldn't help but laugh at them but sadly the film runs way too long to enjoy it as simply an awful movie with laughs.
