Maria

Gabriel looks like a supermodel and has a nifty scarf cloak combo which he uses to great effect.

Anthony Hopkins borrowed Gary Oldmans Dracula frock and keeps a straight face throughout the proceedings.

The poor are filmed in semi darkness as turgid violins proclaim the wretched lives of the locals, accompanied by weeping and wailing (clearly they've seen the script). Mary follows butterflies and seems to have an American accent, for some reason?

Marcellus borrows Luke Evans armour from another Dracula film, Dracula untold, Marcellus is a baddy in black armour boo hiss.

Mary's parents barely age, ye olde oil of Olay worketh welleth here.

A man with a lampshade on his head isn't happy, a nice lady with a truly magnificent lampshade on her head is nice to Mary, a man with a whisk on his head is pleased to see Mary at what I assume is a temple.

Mary gets taller and finds lip filler as she ages, the temple gruel is thinner than Krusty brand.

Poor people surround Mary, a mysterious British actor asks her opinion on Herod the king (I fear he looks a wrong un!) possibly the devil? Supermodel Gabriel appears again momentarily. Herod appears and possibly Bryan Cranston dressed as a soldier behind him, this is too much I need a lie down now.