Chiko

A desperate attempt to mimic American mafia/gangster movies, this cliché-ridden mess plays as if a Hamburg high-school drama club had decided to stage a re-enactment of Brian De Palma's "Scarface". The non-stop, completely over-the-top profanities are, for the most part, unintentionally funny, the acting is limited to the usual swanky sputtering of threats and cuss-words through heavily gritted teeth, and characterization is virtually non-existent. Boring and predictable, this totally hits rock bottom when a montage set to the dull beats of an excruciatingly crappy German rap song shows Chiko rising to the top of the dope-dealing business, complete with loads of coke sniffing, money counting, drinking from champagne coolers in his own newly-opened restaurant and buying expensive jewelry for his girlfriend (the, sigh, hooker with a heart of gold he "bought" from her pimp) who promptly and happily flings herself into his arms when he shows her the penthouse apartment he got them. What made Faith Akin attach his name to this abysmal turkey remains his secret.