Horrid Henry: The Movie

I took my 8 and 6 year old children. My 8 year old is usually quite forgiving of a bad film if she has popcorn. We watch and enjoy a lot of children's films - this was the worst for a long time, since Space Chimps probably, and made worse by that it could have been so much better with a little craft to its direction. And from a director with so much experience as an Editor, it was really badly edited.

My 6 year old thought it was OK, but there lies the problem - the film is obviously aimed, in its semi-high-school American 'teen rock' music pretensions, at a much older audience. A porous plot, even to an 8 year old, and the embarrassing potential of the cast falls extremely flat. Mathew Horne seems only to have two expressions in his repertoire and is in extreme danger of having a bit part comedy career fade fast. Anjelica Huston's Scottish accent was insulting and embarrassing - like a sheltered American impersonating Mrs Doubtfire. Horrid Henry clean cut and Americanised, really wasn't very menacing at all. I was surprised we were spared the sentimental 'son, I got it all wrong but I will always love you' ending: it would have completed the American airbrushing.

Firstly, Angelica Houston is in this film. Just let that fact permeate your mind, then watch as your sense of reality untangles itself and pours out of your ears and onto the floor in a pool of brain soup.

Angelica Houston is in this film. How on earth did that happen?

Now for the film: A group of reactionary and psychologically abusive adults spend 90 minutes shouting at their children until they morph into a clichéd group of personality disorders.

The kids are either good or bad, horrid or perfect. And they've learned to shout and scream at each other because they find certain behaviours unacceptable. It's a Freudian car crash.

No doubt these poor kids are destined for a life of depression, alcoholism, and dysfunctional relationships. At least one of them will be arrested; another sectioned under the Mental Health Act; several will go onto psychologically torture their own children.

It's not my cup of tea, but I'm not the intended audience. I'd rather watch Koyaanisqatsi. So I'll be fair and score it 5/10.

It's odd reading all the reviews critiquing this film in terms of editing, plot etc and marking it down.

There is one golden rule when watching children's movies - take children, leave your adult experience in the foyer.

My two girls - 5 and 8 - loved it. I didn't but that really doesn't matter.

I've given it an average rating taking into account my score - 3 - and the girls' score - 9. The girls' score is the only one that matters.

So far they've watched it about 5 times, and keep yelling at me from the other room to come in quick because "this bit is really funny".

That's enough for me.

Bad acting, bad script, bad everything. Don't waste your time. I fail to see how anyone could like this film a good reason I hate it is because it was the favourite film of someone I hated and how pathetic was that, if you want to see something that doesn't suck then watch Wonder or Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children.

It cracks me up when adults review films aimed at children and give them a battering. This does pretty much what it says on the tin - my 3 and 6 year olds have watched this many times and it's pretty bearable even as an adult. I am happy to be a little (!) older than the target audience. A decent effort with CGIs too to be fair. And can anyone tell me of a film where the 3D effects HAVEN'T been a gratuitous waste of time!?

In short, my six year old daughter now wants to be a rock star and considers herself to be too cool for school.

Oh, err, hold on a sec.... :-)