The Hatton Garden Job

I enjoy heist movies and was so looking forward to this but what a disappointment. It felt as though it had been filmed in one go over a weekend, the sound quality was dreadful and the characters, by and large, were little more than comic book characters.

The crucial thing: the meticulous planning and preparation that went into this heist was almost entirely omitted from the film. One moment they're mumbling inaudibly over a few flat pints and the next they're drilling through the vault wall and opening safety deposit boxes to some loud rock music.

This is at the bottom of the barrel as far as heist movies go and the worst film I've seen for several months. Don't waste your time unless you really, really, don't have anything better to do.

This is a true story. People keep saying that it's not very 'exciting', well it's not The Avengers, it is based on TRUE facts and details about a TRUE event that took place. It's not supposed to be 'thrilling' Gordon-11, it is supposed to tell the story of the ACTUAL event, without CGI and unrealistic gun fights.

I liked it, it made me go and research the actual event which was very interesting.

It's not clear exactly how closely 'The Hatton Garden Job (2017)' sticks to the true events it is based upon, given that it spends time dubiously setting up Hungarian gangsters and extortion-minded dirty cops as a danger to the composite character that serves as the protagonist. As such, it occupies the space between a straight realistic retelling and and an embellished crime caper while taking only the most boring elements of each. Though the editing and on-the-nose narration are clearly trying to recreate that 'Guy Ritchie' kind of style - and doing it poorly at that, even they can't liven up what eventually amounts to four blokes sat in a room while a drill bores through a wall and the flick bores the audience. On top of that, the characters are cardboard cut-outs without any real personality or motivation and the movie opts not to explore the moral questions raised by such an obviously criminal act - which is actually overtly glamorised here. 5/10

The Hatton Cross Job is a fictional story based on facts. In Easter 2015, the Hatton Garden Safe Deposit Company was robbed by four old lags.

Matthew Goode plays the unnamed young man who recruits the old timers with their various ailments who know how to steal the old way. Goode is bankrolled by some East Europeans but an ex copper is on to him.

This is an efficient, low budget film. A couple of actors like Stephen Moyer drop in for a scene or two. It is not too far departed from the lovable ageing gangsters trope, reminiscing and joking about the good old days when the villains lived by a code. Then wondering where the next dose of painkillers have got to.

There have amazingly been three films about the true story of the heist on the Hatton Garden Safe Deposit facility in 2015.

Until now I have not seen any of them. For me the trailers for such movies look so cliqued. Boring for want of another word.

This film does not disappoint in that respect. It plays like a TV drama or extended episode of a British TV soap opera called Eastenders. Complete with West Ham United scenes and flags.

It even stars a couple of ex Eastenders 'actors' in Larry Lamb and Phil Daniels.

The film is not terrible. It is just so unoriginal. Done so many times before. It's just a cheap heist rehash.

I began to nod off about three quarters into the film.

The main USP of this story is that the lags that took place are old timers who have health problems that involve over active prostate, diabetes and emphysema.

Should I even bother with the other two films? King of Thieves starring Michael Caine being the latest?