Argylle

So if you are going into this, you have to know it's gonna be a little campy. Similar to The Kingsman, there are moments of heart, action, and absolute craziness.

Some of the scenes were a bit much, but overall this was a fun, and Interesting movie. Some of the scenes were overly dramatic and we're similar to Deadpool's opening scenes as well.

The twists in the story were definitely different, came one after another. All of the actors were on point, and I loved the switches from Argyle to Real life. The worst part was the CGI cat. And I don't think Samuel Jackson said MFer once. I was shocked.

Argylle is a long, dumb, CGI-riddled mess. In other words, it's the standard modern day Hollywood movie. Some aspects are fun but the whole thing drags on and on until you'll be checking your watch every five minutes in hopes that it will be over soon. There is an abundance of CGI and a lot of it is terrible(especially the cat) and it makes the movie look fake but that's the norm these days. I'm not even sure if they filmed any scenes in London because the exterior shots looked really bad to me. Some of the hand to hand combat is pretty decent but for the most part I didn't care about what was happening at all. Additionally, some of the twists in this worked but overall it just kept doing more and more of them and became a convoluted wreck.

Furthermore, the trailers and posters for this film straight up lie. They have you believe that Henry Cavill will be the star of the movie but he's in this for all of maybe five minutes at most. Those five minutes prove that he would be a great James Bond but I bet that will never happen because why make the correct choice and cast someone that is perfect for a role. Additionally, John Cena is in this for even less time and it makes me wonder why they even bothered casting him as he must've cost them a fair amount of money for what amounts to a cameo. The rest of the cast is fine and I like Sam Rockwell so it's nice to see him in a leading role. On the other hand, the comedy doesn't land at all and no one in my screening was laughing at any of the jokes. I think think the PG-13 rating hurts the movie by making it too tame and making it Rated R would've helped it a bit.. If this thing was made in the 90s it would've been much prettier, shorter, bloodier and most importantly, more fun. Argylle, however is just nonsensical, looks awful and overstays its welcome.

Argylle

A very hyped movie from the writer of the Kingsman series, the trailer frequently showed moments of silliness, spy action, Bryce Dallas Howard screaming and a cat that's supposedly awesome or something. At first the movie is cheesy as can be, but it does appear that is intentional. Most of the movie leads the audience to believe it is one thing, when it really is another, being revealed in surprise twists that aren't very surprising.

The ensemble cast does feature some great performances, even though Henry Cavill's hair is absolutely terrible. Dua Lipa's appearance is short, but she does a great job that it made me miss seeing her. Sam Rockwell continues a trend in Hollywood where age can be defied as I forgot he is in his mid 50s following the likes of Tom Cruise and Jason Statham.

The movie is way too long and needed a better editor. I like a fleshed out story as much as the next person, but calm down movie.

Now, on to the fun. This movie makes the word "ridiculous" woefully inadequate. But it's a fun ridiculous. There are so many laugh out loud moments that it makes up for a lot of the flaws. I don't want to spoil the movie, but keep an eye out for the blink and you'll miss it hilarity.

There are themes explored in this film about motivation, and whether the emotions experienced during life's choices, even when told in the format of a spy thriller, would carry over if you got to do it all over again. Personally, I find that theory worth exploring, because I wonder if I'd make the same good or bad decisions if not exposed to certain stimuli or experiences. Nature vs nurture anyone? People admit that they would love to be able to speak to their younger selves to assure them that things would be better eventually, or to avoid pitfalls, but that's not good enough. One never knows if that would make any difference, unless you take away those moments.

I enjoyed the heck out of this movie overall, and recommend it for the silliness alone. Don't take the movie seriously, and I believe you will too. The entire, very long, ending sequence is just crazy with the suspension of disbelief, but embrace it.

Matthew Vaughn is one of my favorite directors. He has three movies that are on my all-time favorites list: Kick-Ass, X-Men: First Class, and Kingsman: The Secret Service. I love his style and consider him a master filmmaker.

His last movie, The King's Man, was terrible. I gave it 2 stars. But no one is perfect and it's easy to forgive one misfire. But with Argylle, we have another severely disappointing entry. It's not nearly as bad as The King's Man, but that might be why it's even more disappointing. It could have been great.

Why doesn't Argylle work? Movies are so complex, it's difficult to answer that question. Here are my guesses. First, the humor and attempts to be quirky feel off. I only laughed once. Second, there are a few cool action scenes, but nothing to write home about.

Third, what idiot decided this should be PG-13? There are so many deaths, but they can't fully show it. So it feels neutered. They do this to sell more tickets, catering to the casuals. But my theater was nearly empty on opening night. So casuals didn't show up and you alienate your true fans. Fourth, for what amounts to a popcorn flick, I was fairly bored and unengaged.

But I think one thing hurt the movie more than anything else. This is a great cast except for one role. The most important one. The main character. I don't dislike Bryce Dallas Howard. But this was a horrendous casting choice. I can list out 30 actresses that would have been better suited for the role. It doesn't seem too bad early on, but the further we get into the story, the worse it gets. It's not even a tiny bit believable.

I still look forward to future Matthew Vaughn projects. But I just found out that his next movie is a sequel to The King's Man. Why????? I can only hope he reevaluates and tries to get back on track.

(1 viewing, opening Thursday UltraScreen 2/1/2024)

First part, I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. I knew that the movie had gotten some bad reviews, but I had not read any of them. And I found myself thinking "but this is a great, over the top, spy action comedy, what is not to love about that!".

Then midways, something happens, and the movie spirals into all kinds of problems.

Firstly, it drags out for way, way, way too long. From fantastical action and good one liners it turns into a snore fest with redundant, lengthy scenes trying to establish some sense of emotional gravitas. Problem is, BDH has zero range, and became nothing but annoying and downright bad at what she was supposed to after.

Secondly, it bacame clear that it was style over substance. Which I one hundred percent can support, if the style is cool, creative, innovative, fun, esthetically pleasing. It never fully was, and it never really committed, becoming a jigsaw of puzzle pieces forced together that really did not fit.

Thirdly, under utilized actors. Lots of great small roles, none got to shine, and especially SLJ had one of his worst roles for years, mostly reduced to acting like an excited 5 yo in the end.

In the end, the movie was somewhat saved by an always fun and excellent Sam Rockwell. And unfortunately dragged down massively by, I'm sincerely sorry to say, a typically bad BDH. Not often I say this but the casting director really picked the wrong main actress with this one.