Les Novices

In France, a group of nuns go to the beach to swim. The nun Agnès (Brigitte Bardot) flees; hides her habit in the sand; steals some clothes from a cabin and a motorbike; and travels to Paris. On arrival, a car hit her, and she is forced to go to the police station, where a group of prostitutes have been arrested. She befriends the hooker Mona Lisa (Annie Girardot) and when Lisa is released, she invites Agnès to stay with her. Agnès feels uncomfortable being supported by her new friend, and tries to find a job, bur she does not have qualifications. Lisa teaches the virgin Agnès how to be a prostitute, but she fails. Short of money, what will they do?

"Les novices" (1970) is a very silly movie directed by Claude Chabrol, despite the names Brigitte Bardot and Annie Girardot in the cast. The plot is not funny, despite the great actresses, and disappoints. The weak conclusion does not help this forgettable movie. My vote is five.

Title (Brazil): "As Noviças" ("The Novices")

The entire charm of film is the contribution of actors. The story is silly, unrealistic, chaotic and just absurd. But for admirers of Annie Girardot and brigitte bardot, it has the chance to be nice.

The basic problem - difficult to imagine BB as nun. And the reactions of her character are saved by her beauty.

The film seems just an improvisation at a drink , in a bar, very late . And the formula a nun and a whore and a dog works in bad manner. But it is just a comedy, very easy, very uninspired crafted, offering few drops of nostalgia and a saved poor chicken. And an ambulance becoming a sort of bordel, a young priest in delicate situation and the beach.

So, some sensuality, religion and friendship. In random doses.

For a second there I though I was watching March of the Penguins, but it was just a collection of nuns in habits enjoying a frolic in the sea.

One of those nuns was nun other than Brigette Bardot, looking absolutely gorgeous at 36. Why she abandoned her convent life and went on a stealing rampage is unexplained, but it wasn't long before a dog became involved.

She looked over her situation: money - nun. food - nun. place to sleep - nun, job -nun. It looked hopeless, but a kind-hearted working girl took pity. She met Mona Lisa (Annie Girardot) and was taken care of.

Time came for Bardot to earn her own way. The training and first night were hilarious. She looked like Orphan Annie in her costume.

Well, that didn't work out, so she got a job driving an ambulance, which worked fine at night as Mona Lisa could give "examinations" in the back.

But, things do not always go as planned. After several failures, they end up back on the beach with the nuns.

Nudity: nun, but it was funny.

To begin with, I managed to obtain a number of Brigitte Bardot's star vehicles (even if they have largely proved bland affairs!) in the last few years. Apparently, the two leads of this one (the other being Annie Girardot) were so dissatisfied with original director/co-writer Casaril's handling that they pushed to have him fired and replaced with Claude Chabrol (who had often worked in conjunction with producer Andre' Genoves and screenwriter Paul Gegauff, though never with them). Interestingly, this was one of three films in which Bardot was flanked by a female star almost as big as herself: she had previously appeared alongside Jeanne Moreau in Louis Malle's delightful VIVA MARIA! (1965) and, later on, would co-star with Claudia Cardinale in Christian-Jaque's THE LEGEND OF FRENCHIE KING (1971; in which, ironically, Guy Casaril was also involved in an uncredited capacity).

Though ostensibly naughty, with Bardot a reluctant nun(!) and Girardot a hooker (decked-out in the customarily tacky fashions of the era), the film under review maintains a light tone throughout; mildly enjoyable but thoroughly forgettable, the main assets here are the splendid Parisian locations and a pleasant score by the late Francois de Roubaix. Meeting in a police station, the two women begin by setting up house together: however, Bardot's constant interruption of Giradot's intimate 'work' (especially after taking in a mangy stray dog!), almost causes her to be thrown out. Eventually, she is trained in the art of seduction by her companion but, after failing in this as well(!), Bardot connives her way - thanks to Girardot's connections - into an ambulance-driving position at the local hospital!

This gives Girardot the idea of converting the vehicle into a traveling brothel after office hours – a good 13 years prior to Ron Howard's NIGHT SHIFT!; among their clients are Jess Hahn (as an American expatriate prone to reciting poetry), Jean Carmet (later the ill-fated father of the protagonist in Chabrol's own VIOLETTE NOZIERE [1978]), Noel Roquevert (the villain at the center of Henri-Georges Clouzot's LE CORBEAU [1943]) and Jacques Jouanneau (who had been the amiable private eye in Georges Franju's JUDEX [1963]). The ruse goes very well at first, leaving the couple wealthy if understandably exhausted...until Girardot inadvertently picks up Bardot's superior at work for a 'quick one'! The direct result of this is that our heroines first dispose of the ambulance and then re-join the nunnery from which Bardot had fled to begin with!; they still fail to keep the pace with the other novices and make eyes at the young priest celebrating mass at their remote convent!

Talk about bizarre casting--having Brigitte Bardot playing a nun who is inexperienced when it comes to enticing men! That's like having Oliver Hardy write a diet book--it just doesn't work! So, from the outset, the premise is extremely flawed and might have worked a lot better with a more plain and less worldly actress. I have enjoyed Bardot in quite a few films, but imagine the star of "And God Created Woman" and "Contempt" in such a silly role! In addition, I am sure this must have ruffled a few feathers--a comedy about a nun who becomes a prostitute!! The film begins with Bardot in a nunnery for sexy girls age 18-35 (or so it would seem). Such an order would DEFINITELY not go unnoticed!! Anyway, the sexy nuns go on an outing to the beach and quickly shed their frocks for bathing suits. Do nuns EVER do this?! Well, in this bizarre film they evidently do!! For some reason we never understand, Bardot slips away and goes off to see the world. But because she is such a naive woman (!!!!), she is totally lost and is taken in by a prostitute. Without money or job skills, eventually she decides to become a professional woman herself--and is completely inept at the art of seduction(!!!). Again and again, she can't quite bring herself to follow through and actually sleep with anyone! This part of the film, while ridiculous, is at least a bit funny.

Eventually, Brigitte realizes she is NOT cut out for the life of a hooker and gets a real job driving an ambulance. However, her friend (the hooker with the heart of gold) soon realizes that they can combine the two professions--with Bardot driving an ambulance that makes house-calls, so to speak. In some ways, this is reminiscent of the later American film "Night Shift"--where morgue attendants use their facility as a brothel. There is a cute scene where a woman is in labor and is taken by police to this vehicle--though when the lady gives birth, it is the CLEANEST birth in the history of the planet! Unfortunately, around this time the film loses its steam and just kind of languishes aimlessly. Like the last Harry Potter book, they go on some sort of extended camping trip that seems to go on and on and on--with little actually justifying this little diversion. Stealing chickens, destroying their ambulance and more seem to occur for no reason whatsoever--like the film had run out of ideas. And so the film limps to a conclusion...very, very slowly.

This is a film I can only recommend to die-hard Bardot fans and the extremely curious. It's not a terrible film--it just doesn't make much sense and is poorly written. Sure, it has a few clever moments--but not enough to overcome all its deficiencies.