- Piper: Excuse me. Are you Richard Burton?
- Evelyn Tremble: No, I'm Peter O'Toole!
- Piper: Then you're the finest man that ever breathed.
- Narrator: Seven James Bonds at Casino Royale. They came to save the world and win a gal at Casino Royale. Six of them went to a heavenly spot. The seventh one is going to a place where it's terribly hot.
- Mata Bond: [In front of 10 Downing Street] Oh, Daddy, I do so long to meet him. All the girls do. He really turns me on!
- Sir James: Did that finishing school teach you to talk like that?
- Mata Bond: No, I taught them. Oh, do be a pet, Daddy.
- Sir James: Be a good girl, do run along and watch the changing of the guard.
- Mata Bond: I bet Mummy would have taken me in.
- Sir James: Mummy took everyone in.
- [speaking amorously to The Detainer, believing he has seduced her to his cause]
- Jimmy Bond/Dr. Noah: And afterwords we can run amok! Or if you're too tired, we can walk amok.
- Sir James: You better bring me up to date. Who is on what assignment?
- Hadley: Well, it's not a very happy picture, sir.
- Sir James: [Looking at a map] Why all the black flags there?
- Hadley: They've been liquidated, I'm afraid, sir. Our Finland, stabbed to death in a ladies sauna bath, sir. Our Madrid, burned in a blazing bordello, sir. And, Tokyo, sir, garroted in a geisha house.
- Sir James: It's depressing that the words "secret agent" have become synonymous with "sex maniac."
- Vesper Lynd: Mr Evelyn Tremble?
- Evelyn Tremble: Yes, that's right.
- Vesper Lynd: Isn't Evelyn a girl's name?
- Evelyn Tremble: No, it's mine, actually.
- Jimmy Bond: You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time. I-I, eh, eh, oh, oh, what if I said I was pregnant?
- Jimmy Bond: [being led to a firing squad] You do know of course that this means an angry letter to The Times?
- Frau Hoffner: Hmmm, it is little Otto. He was one of your mother's lovers. We often find him lying around.
- Mata Bond: Is he dead?
- Frau Hoffner: Hard to tell. He always looked like that.
- Evelyn Tremble: Mr. Mathis, there's something that's been worrying me...
- Inspector Mathis: Yes?
- Evelyn Tremble: Well, you're a French police inspector, yet you speak with a Scots accent.
- Inspector Mathis: Aye, it worries me, too.
- Q's Assistant: [showing Bond a pen] When the nib touches the paper it releases a stream of poisonous gas into the writer's eye.
- Evelyn Tremble: Ideal if you want to send a...
- Q's Assistant: [chiming in wearily] ... Poison pen letter, yes, all our agents say that, sir.
- Sir James: [taking the reins of the British Secret Service] Oh, by the way, Moneypenny, since I've come in here, have you heard me stammer?
- Miss Moneypenny: No, sir!
- Sir James: Splendid. Let me know if I do; I haven't got time for that sort of thing now.
- Miss Moneypenny: I really have to note your qualifications.
- Cooper: Height: six foot two and a half. 184 pounds. Trophies for karate and judo, holder of the Kama Sutra black belt.
- Miss Moneypenny: Very impressive. How do you spell that?
- Cooper: I'll show you!
- Evelyn Tremble: [Vesper has just been kidnapped] Haven't by any chance seen a young lady in a green dress, have you?
- Casino Doorman: [Who witnessed the kidnapping] Let me see, sir. Would that be a lady with a black bag over her head being manhandled by two unsavory gentlemens?
- Evelyn Tremble: Could very well be, yes.
- Casino Doorman: She went that way, sir, in a car.
- The Detainer: You're crazy. You are absolutely crazy!
- Jimmy Bond: People called Einstein crazy.
- The Detainer: That's not true. No one ever called Einstein crazy.
- Jimmy Bond: Well, they would have if he'd carried on like this.
- James Bond: What are you going to do?
- Le Chiffre: Physically, I'm not going to do anything.
- James Bond: Ah, you're going to nothing me to death.
- Le Chiffre: Torture of the mind. The most exquisite torture is all in the mind.
- Sir James: [Giving a description of his era's spy type] ... vocationally devoted, sublimely disinterested. Hardly a description of that sexual acrobat who leaves a trail of dead beautiful women like so many blown roses behind him - that bounder to whom you gave my name and number.
- Q: [to Evelyn Tremble entering the laboratory. He hands him a form] If you'd be good enough to sign here, sir. It's not for me, it's for the Official Secrets Act.
- Polo: You're so like your mother, you're driving me insane.
- Mata Bond: Well, you haven't got far to go.
- Polo: Come to me. Come to me, my little Mata. Come to me. Come!
- [He falls off the bed, Mata opens the door]
- Mata Bond: About time you were back in your box, innit?
- Polo: You must forgive me. I lose control of myself. I'm a mad fool. Mad.
- Mata Bond: You want an argument?
- Sir James: [In Mata's room] Who are all these people?
- Mata Bond: They're the high priests of the temple. Okay, Fred, up it!
- [a priest gets up and bows as he leaves]
- Sir James: What an extraordinary performance. They seem to treat you like some kind of goddess.
- Mata Bond: Well, I am the celestial virgin of the sacred altar.
- Sir James: Figuratively speaking, of course.
- Mata Bond: Of course.
- Sir James: [Legionnaire salutes and rattles off something in French] Beg pardon?
- French Legionnaire: [consults the book chained to his belt] The French have arrived!
- Sir James: Look out!
- French Legionnaire: [turns and punches a bad guy, then grabs his fist] Merde!
- Sir James: Beg pardon?
- French Legionnaire: [consults his book again] Ooch?
- Sir James: [Eyeing Miss Lynd's ostentatious pantsuit with extravagant feathered headdress] What a charming outfit that is. Do you often wear it in the office?
- Vesper Lynd: If I wore it in the street, people might stare.
- Sir James: Calamity makes strange be-bedfellows. But, why, I wonder, in the strength of your unity, do you disturb an old-fashioned gentleman in his retirement?
- M: We need your inspirational leadership in this dark hour.
- Le Grand: Please give us the benefit of your inconquerable powers of deduction.
- Ransome: For the freedom loving peoples of the world!
- Smernov: For the sake of the glorious, socialist revolution.
- Sir James: If I may interrupt this flow of cliche, it is now that time of day I have set apart for - Debussy.
- Le Chiffre: Bond? James Bond? The name is familiar.
- Evelyn Tremble: I don't believe I've had the pleasure. Though, I'm flattered you've heard of me.
- Le Chiffre: I have heard of you; but, not as an expert on baccarat.
- Frau Hoffner: The Mata Hari School of Dancing is the only truly international school of espionage in the world.
- Polo: In the world.
- Frau Hoffner: There is no political prejudice here.
- Polo: Prejudice.
- Frau Hoffner: We train Russian spies for America.
- Polo: America.
- Frau Hoffner: And American spies for Russia.
- Mata Bond: Very democratic.
- Frau Hoffner: *Very* democratic.
- M: Debussy. He plays Debussy every afternoon from sunset until its too dark to read the music. Stands on his head a lot. Eats royal jelly. Let's his intestines down and washes them by hand. Something he learned during his sojourn in Tibet.
- Le Chiffre's Representative: Gentlemen, I'm here tonight on behalf of my client, Le Chiffre - of whom you all have heard - to offer by auction this unique collection of art treasures. Are there any specific bidding instructions?
- Russian Officer at Auction: Our instructions are that when we are sitting we are bidding. When we are stranding we are not bidding.
- USA Officer at Auction: We'll do our bidding sitting down. When we're standing up, we're not bidding.
- Chinese General: We stand, we bid. We no stand, we no bid.
- Le Chiffre's Representative: And, eh, the British representatives?
- British Officer at Auction: Well, I-I don't know, actually. Sort of, a bit of both, I suppose, really. Is that alright with you chaps?
- Frau Hoffner: Come along, child. The auction is about to begin.
- Mata Bond: Auction?
- Frau Hoffner: Tonight we are selling one of the finest art collections in Europe.
- Mata Bond: Le Chiffre's collection?
- Frau Hoffner: Who?
- Mata Bond: Le Chiffre.
- Frau Hoffner: Who's Le Chiffre?
- Mata Bond: The man who owns the collection.
- Frau Hoffner: What collection?
- Mata Bond: The collection that's about to be auctioned.
- Frau Hoffner: Who said anything about an auction?
- Mata Bond: You did.
- Frau Hoffner: Who am I?
- Mata Bond: Frau Hoffner.
- Frau Hoffner: Never heard of her. You're insane, my child, quite insane.
- Mata Bond: I think she's right!
- Evelyn Tremble: Grand Prix enthusiasts may be worried by the amount of time it has taken me to get into this Lotus Formula Three. What they don't realize is, although Le Chiffre thinks he has a faster car than me, I am faster in my Lotus Formula Three. Hee Hee!
- Q's Assistant: ["Dressing left" and "dressing right" are terms used by tailors when fitting suit pants. To "dress left" means that a man keeps his male appendage shifted in the general direction of the left trouser leg; likewise for the right.] What side do you dress on?
- Evelyn Tremble: Away from the window.
- Sir James: [Jimmy Bond is flailing his arms crazily trying to communicate] I never should have sent him to a Progressive school.
- Mata Bond: [Pulls down the handle on a toilet and floor circulates to another room] It's the first john I've ever gone around with.
- Frau Hoffner: [Mata just arrived at International Mother's Help] Who are you? What do you want?
- Mata Bond: I'm here to enroll as a student.
- Frau Hoffner: What are you qualifications, hmmmm?
- Mata Bond: I am the daughter of Mata Hari.
- Polo: Mata Hari!
- Frau Hoffner: You are a liar.
- Mata Bond: Am I? What about this, then?
- [She takes off her coat to reveal a belly-dancing outfit]
- The Detainer: [Dr. Noah declares his desire for the Detainer, who is captive, nude, and strapped down] Do you treat ALL the girls you desire this way?
- Jimmy Bond/Dr. Noah: [impatiently] Yes! Oh yes, I remove their clothing and tie them up, yes! I learned that in the Boy Scouts.
- Vesper Lynd: Haven't you read the papers today?
- Evelyn Tremble: I don't normally get them quite so early.
- Vesper Lynd: I get them before they're printed.
- Evelyn Tremble: Well, I suppose you can do anything if you have money.
- Le Chiffre: Don't worry about that chair with a hole in the middle. It's merely waiting to be reupholstered.
- Ransome: But why, why at the height of his powers did Bond decide to retire?
- Le Grand: Mata Hari, my dear friend.
- Ransome: What's the connection?
- Le Grand: The woman in his life.
- Ransome: I don't get it?
- Le Grand: It was his painful duty to lure her across the Spanish frontier to France - where he stood her in front of a firing squad.
- M: He really loved - that woman.
- Sir James: Good lord! Moneypenny, you haven't changed a bit.
- [Long Kiss]
- Miss Moneypenny: Actually, I'm Miss Moneypenny's daughter.
- Sir James: How is your dear mother?
- Sir James: Hadley, we're up against an opposition of fiendish ingenuity. They make incredible use of women.
- Hadley: Yes, they tend to, nowadays, sir.
- Sir James: Female spies harassed me in Scotland. Female spies chased me to London. We need an A-F-S-D.
- Hadley: Sir?
- Sir James: Anti-Female-Spy-Device. We find the one man all women want and we train him not to want women.
- Agent Mimi: Naught else, remains?
- Sir James: Nothing to sp-speak of, I'm afraid. It was found in a tree, a hundred yards from where he stood. It took off, as it were, and flew like a bi-bird. But, whether it is an article of ap-apparel or an-an anatomical fea-feature? That is the question? Should it be given Christian bu-burial? Just how pe-personal is - a - toupee?
- Agent Mimi: [making a pun of the word "heir-loom"] It can only be regarded as a "hair-loom."
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By what name was Casino Royale (1967) officially released in India in English?
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