The Exotic House of Wax

Ever watch a porno and wonder 'man, if only they had a decent story to go along with it' ?

Well, that about sums it up with this movie. Basically a softcore porno by the guys at Surrender Cinema, it's pretty good.

Mind you, I like to watch tons of sex and nudity like the next guy, but I found myself fast forwarding past some of the long sex scenes because well, there's so many of them. But that give tribute to the fact that I wanted to see the story behind all the sex as well. Pretty good.

even by the extra-low standards for soft porn, this movie fails to entertain. if you find yourself up late watching skinemax and this comes on, don't hesitate. turn it right away. (especially because there's way too much exposition before you get to the good stuff.)

The Erotic House of Wax is an episode of Scooby Doo without the Scooby gang and with an hour or so of very tedious (when isn't it?) lesbian action thrown in. Be it one, two, three, four, ten, twenty women, every angle (quite literally) is covered (or rather uncovered). On the press releases it says that 'most wax museums are boring, but there's a new one in town' (yeah right - this one really is very boring). Music is grand but key historical figure waxworks (such as Shakespeare) romping with young women is pure idiocy to say the least. Director Sybil Richards makes loads of these Surrender Cinema movies for Full Moon and whilst the music and production is amazing this whole sub-genre is a disappointing project for the Full Moon studio and merely a cash in on stuff never more professionally done but plentiful elsewhere all the same.

Well, what an awful music. The Surrender Cinema's guys should choose other composers...

The movie ? Uh... Not very beautiful actresses (except Jacqueline Lovell), an horrible story, an horrible light, soft and not good sex scenes (except, except, except a FOUR LESBIANS SCENE!!! Woah!)

For Lovell's fans only...

I've seen most of them and, like other guys, F-Fwd to the sex scenes. I don't drool over them, rather I look for some level of realism in the scenes, the "eloquence of their efforts" or reality of their faking. I'm REALLY bored with the ho-hum 'undress and caress' stuff Shannon Tweed is notorious for - all of her films were meant for insomniacs!

I pessimistically look for anything that says 'fake' (except the silicon of course) such as the way over-used 'girl riding the guy's thigh' scene, both standing upright with him behind her, either of them grinning their super-plastic Ken & Barbie doll look with 'ain't I beautiful?' smiles, yada, yada yada, you get the picture.

Even though most of the scenes in this flick failed my aforementioned checks there was one scene that I had to have worn out rescanning - I'm still convinced the scene where she's laying on her back on a wall was severely cut by the editors just to scathe the MPAA X rating! This scene alone warrants a 'very-watchable' status for this one, and I'm gonna rent it again...