'What the hell did I just watch????' Those were my closing thoughts after I subjected myself to one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. Some movies are bad. Some movies suck. But there's only one movie that's horrible enough to claim the title worst movie ever made: this movie.
But just how bad is it? I'm glad you asked. I can sum it up as 93 of the longest minutes of my life. The movie just wouldn't end. I'm sure it didn't help that I was looking at the clock every ten seconds. It might even be a be a benefit in that way. Say you only have 93 minutes to live. Hell, sit through this colossal mess of a film and then seconds will stretch on like years.
What the problem that is wasn't funny? Sort of. Was it funny? No. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that there were no jokes. Some movies aren't funny, but at least they make an attempt to be. This movie didn't even try. It's like the producers just slapped together words in a certain order for a 'script' (I use that term very loosely for this movie) and then cast well-respected actors to earn back it's budget.
Which brings me to my next point: the actors. Diane Keaton is a previous Oscar-winner who's starred in classic films such as 'The Godfather,' 'The Godfather Part II,' and 'Annie Hall.' Now she's doing this kind of garbage? There must not be much work out there. Same goes for Jeff Daniels. I wouldn't consider him a great actor, but he's been in some solid films over the years. And Eli Wallach? You appeared in one of my favorite films of all time in 'The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.' I guess you don't tread too far away from unfamiliar territory, because this is film is UGLY (for all the wrong reasons.)
I'm going on too long about this film. It's already wasted too much of my time. My only hope in writing this review was to scare away potential viewers. To warn them of the dangerous, life-scarring, torturous, agonizing, cruel experience that would await. How anyone could rate this movie about a 3 is beyond me. They either 1) accidentally rated the wrong film 2) worked on the film (though that's not something to be proud of) or 3) are on drugs of some sort (maybe that will somewhat salvage this mess.)
If you watch this whole movie, start to finish, you deserve some type of reward, my friend. If you can sit through it twice, my God, you must be inhuman.
