Shark Killer

Right, well I sat down to watch the 2015 movie "Shark Killer" without having read the movie's synopsis. So I blindly believed that this movie was going to be a movie with sharks being the focal point of the storyline.

Oh, how mistaken I was. This movie was not about sharks, but instead about people chasing after a shark to cut out a rare diamond from its belly. So I was sorely disappointed with this movie, as I had expected and hoped for a shark creature feature.

While the movie wasn't at all what I had expected, it should be said that the movie actually wasn't all that bad. It was watchable and semi-entertaining actually. Well, while it wasn't an outstanding movie, it made for adequate entertainment for a single viewing.

"Shark Killer" has the likes of Derek Theler, Erica Cerra and Arnold Vosloo on the cast list, so it wasn't actually all bad in terms of casted performers.

Visually then "Shark Killer" wasn't a particularly impressive movie. There were a few odd shark segments here and there, but nothing in the likes of movies such as "Jaws", "The Meg", "Deep Blue Sea", and such.

"Shark Killer" turned out to be a cheesy movie actually, but still watchable. I am rating it a four out of ten stars. Watchable, yes, but disappointingly not a movie about sharks as the main focus.

If you're looking at this title because you're a Jo Lupo or A.L.i.E. fan, it's worth a watch, though some of the scenes will be hard to swallow, and lets hope Ms Cerra didn't drive that car in those shoes...

This isn't as scary as Jaws or The Meg, but it's far better made then a SciFi Channel monster of the week movie, even though the big bad moves more like a Tuna then a Great White.

If you're doing a date-night double feature, put this one on first while you're eating popcorn, then watch The Meg or similar afterwards. Once you're in to the second act, this one moves along nicely.

It really only has one plot point missed, them not going back for the rest of the villains collection.

This isn't a shark movie, it does have a shark in it, but not very much. So don't let the title or movie 'poster' fool you. It isn't a terrible movie once you accept that it is an organized crime sort of movie instead of a shark attack movie. But it also isn't great.

Derek Theler was great in Baby Daddy and Erica Cerra was really good in Eureka. Arnold Vosloo was amazing in The Mummy movies. It gave me some real hope for this one.

But Theler didn't ever completely gel as a wisecracking action hero (even though I thought he'd be great at that). And Vosloo's scenes went so far over the top that it often felt like the movie was spoofing itself.

There were enjoyable and fun parts to it, but I'm not sure if it came together as a whole.

The 88 minute run time should have felt quick but instead it felt a lot more like two hours.

In the mid-70s, I want to see Jaws -and it scarred me for life. It took decades before I could swim in deep water without panicking. As a result, I hate sharks.

So it has to be a pretty abysmal film for me to want the shark to win. Congratulations Shark Killer.

The lead actor has one thing going for him - he looks good. His acting is lumpen but things are made worse by the appalling dialogue. The lead actress has a single role in the film : to be saved. Several times. By our "hero". This naturally makes her hatred change into love. Because women are (according to this film) that shallow.

The only reasonable this film gets anything but the lowest score, is that the scenery is very pretty. But that doesn't stop the essential stupidity of this film.

Oh, and if you ever wondered how to kill a shark? Just dive in and stab it with a knife. Or a stick.

Now I know I probably shouldn't say this, but I did rather enjoy "Shark Killer". I am sure that was almost entirely down to the eye-candy Derek Theler's quite tongue in cheek effort as local Lothario "Chase" who pretty much charms and sleeps his way through life! One morning he is summoned to his hoodlum stepbrother's home where he is given a challenge. Find a black-finned shark that has swallowed a priceless diamond before it's discovered by his nemesis "Nix" (Arnold "Mummy" Vosloo). What we discover quite quickly is that "Chase" is no slouch when it comes to the ninja skills, and that's useful when he and unwilling partner "Jasmine" (Erica Cerra) become the targets of their rather menacing and brutal foe. If you are looking for a silly film about a shark, then you'd be better off watching Tommy Wiseau's "Killer Shark" (2023) nonsense because there is virtually no shark action in this action drama-cum-burgeoning (and predictable) romance. I think there are some South African accents here, but they don't come across consistently enough to be sure - and as far as anything that could be called "acting" is concerned, then maybe we do need to find the shark for that too. Still, Sheldon Wilson uses his key asset - an handsome man - to reasonable effect in this low budget film to deliver something that - try as I might - I just couldn't hate.