Biohazard

I saw this at the video store, and after passing it a few definite times, the oversized box and cheesy cover art finally got to me, and I knew I just had to rent this. I don't really know what compelled me, but I really do regret it.

I couldn't follow the plot, but here's the gist of it: Scientists use psychic Lisa (Angelique Pettyjohn) to do something that will entail contacting an alien or something stupid like that. All I know is that eventually, a transported case with some alien bursts open, and ET--after a kill or two--breaks free and runs around the middle of nowhere killing people. For some reason, Lisa and one of the scientists (who is also a love interest) are needed to help find this thing, as it kills randomly for the rest of the movie. Then again, there could be more, but I watched through fast-forward for the last twenty minutes, and was only interested by the "shock" ending.

The one thing that surprised me the most was the fact that this movie was only ONE HOUR long! I mean, with a running time like that, you would think it would be nonstop fun. Umm...no. It's dull as hell, with Ray's son in a rubber costume running around killing hobos, old people, young couples, etc, from time to time, and Lisa and Mr. Scientist Love Interest chasing it down with other stock characters. *sighs* I can't believe how bad this was.

The blooper reel during the closing credits was mildly entertaining, and filled another ten minutes into the movie, making it a whopping 70 minutes, but that didn't even save this bomb. I really can't say I recommend this the least bit. (And anyway, I had no idea what was going on, becuase I fast-forwarded so much. You may do the same, if you dare watch this.)

If you're watching this movie, you're either a Fred Olen Ray fan, you found it on the $4.99 shelf at Suncoast and thought "what do I have to lose?", or you spun around the video store with your eyes closed and rented the first movie your finger touched.

This movie is hysterically bad. It's got everything a terrible movie needs: a screenplay featuring jaw-dropping dialogue and baffling detours in the plot, wacky science involving psychics and other dimensions, continuity that seems to travel through wormholes in time and space, actors that are not only wooden, but seems to border on befuddled, gratuitous nudity (not all of it is what you necessarily would ask for), and of course, a 5' monster played by what I assume is Fred Olen Ray's kid.

Underneath it all, however, there is something resembling heart -- as if Mickey & Judy decided to get together all the kids in the neighborhood and make a monster movie (hey! my dad can direct it! yeah! We can use red paint from my johnny's dad's hardware store, and I know this ex-stripper who can act in it!).

Watch for the blooper reel over the credits -- you get to find out why the final cut of the movie was so crappy.

Incidentally, Biohazard II...the Alien Force is also worth a look, but doesn't have the same enjoyably crappy veneer this one does.

I was always curious about this film because it is so tough to find, so when I stumbled upon it on Ebay I forked over the $10 and bought it, now I understand why its so rare! This film is SO bad, so terribly written and hopelessly low budget that the ending credits, which show all of the cut scenes where they fumbled their lines, are literally the movie's highlight. The film is about a psychic (Pettyjohn) whom uses her powers with an experimental machine to pull objects from another dimension into this reality. When she pulls in some kind of box like object the military nonchalantly throws it into the open back of a truck with one soldier to guard it, and gee, what do you know? SURPRISE! A kid in a foam-rubber monster costume pops out, instantly kills the soldier with a scratch across his face, then escapes to a nearby city. But rather than deploy half the armed forces of the county to find it and protect the public those in charge just leave it up to Pettyjohn and Ray to find it on their own, but no matter, this movie blows all its credibility LONG before then. This barely escapes being voted a 1 by me only because of unintentional laughs, somebody needs to alert the producers of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" if they don't know about it already! 2 out 10, really, REALLY bad!

Biohazard (1985) is a movie that I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a science experiment gone wrong that creates a monster with psychic abilities that can reproduce quickly. Can the scientists survive the creature and stop it before taking over the planet?

This movie is directed by Fred Olen Ray (The Phantom Empire) and stars Aldo Ray (We're No Angels), Angelique Pettyjohn (Repo Man), Bret Miller (Some Are Born), David O'Hara (Nightingale: A Melody of Life) and Art Payton (Never too Young to Die).

The costumes, sets and props are a lot of fun and classic 80s. The alien is a man in a costume and looks like it, but it's still fun to watch. As you would expect in this picture there's lots of flashes of topless scenes and the ladies are absolutely gorgeous. The cast delivers strong performances and the dialogue is well written with some fun comedy and zings. The horror special effects are limited and the kills are fairly mediocre, though the baby creatures were entertaining. There is a nice twist at the end.

Overall, this is an above average addition to the science fiction horror genre that I would score a 5.5/10 and strongly recommend.

This one has some terrible dialogue and sub par special effects. It also has an alcoholic Aldo Ray as some kind of government employee. Angelique Pettyjohn shows off her "assets" in a few scenes but her wig is obvious and nearly falls off! The alien monster is the director's son. The plot revolves around Angelique's ability to channel psychic vibes and transfer creatures (and a tiny little statue!?!) from outer space to the Earth. Of course this is done with the help of a scientist and his laboratory deep in the southwest, probably where many westerns of the 50s and 60s were filmed. A lot of the scenes are shot at night. There's also a little gore and some creature makeup. Good late night viewing! Especially if you put your brain on idle for a while. 3 out of 10 .