The Vineyard

The Vineyard sees fan favourite James Hong return as one of his most loved characters Lo Pan (Big Trouble In Little China) of sorts, in his self directed horror comedy which has a number of Hong Kong stars on board as a vehicle to help kick start their career (which seems to have worked).

Reminding me of the classics like Mr. Vampire, Haunted Cop Shop, and We're Going To Eat You; this great wee flick oozes that same appeal as those horror comedy HK classics of the 80's which also features an early role from Michael Wong (Beast Cops, First Option, Royal Warriors) which is comical in itself!

Massive Hong Kong producer and director Gordon Chan (2000 AD, The Four Trilogy, Painted Skin) co-produces the feature for Hong, as he creeps out the visitors of his vineyard island, posing as a film producer with a great location.

The plot is crazy, yet that's what gives it the same charm of the 80's HK films I love. Zombies, gore, comedy, crazy SFX all come together in this unseen, underrated little gem that entertains without you having to think too hard!

Watch as actor James Hong (who also co-wrote and co-direct) puts on a show! He steals every frame he's in, but this is because the competition is few and far between. When he isn't obsessively going off his rocker and having his face morph about, you're probably transfixed by the presence (not the acting) of playmate bunny Karen Witter. Hong's depraved character definitely is, but the scenes they mostly share are less than interesting other than the daft climatic showdown. Outside of Hong and Karl Heinz-Tuber, the majority of the performances are one-note and vacant.

Dr. Elson Po is a world renowned wine grower, but he also has a dark secret with an obsession for the forbidden secrets of immortality. To stop the rapid aging process, Po feeds on the life-force of the young aspiring actresses he invites to his island.

"The Vinyard" is low-rent and quite sloppy, despite the amusing unhinged mad doctor / black magic hokum. It has its moments with some ghoulish jolts, sleazy encounters and nasty monster make-up FX (zombies join the party), but it can be patchy and lackadaisical in scenes. Moments can be quite talky (numerous boring exchanges) with the silly script throwing about strange ideas, spiritual themes and linking it with Chinese mythology. At times it can be atmospheric, but its villa and vineyard setting on a secluded island is never taken full advantage of. Even throw in a dungeon with chains.

"You're in a lot of danger here."

Famous winemaker Dr Po invites some young actors to his exclusive vineyard to audition for a film but in fact he is after their blood. Dr Po is actually a mad scientist with occult powers who is obsessed with immortality, for which he needs young blood. Throw in some zombies, martial arts, sex/nudity, dudes in tight tops with bulging biceps, a bit of gore, 80's fashions and music , this is quite a melting pot. Although it did get a limited theatrical release this movie is very typical of the straight to home video kind. I have the UK VHS which has a scary looking old hag on the cover, quite enticing though sadly her part is quite minor. The acting and script are far from Oscar worthy and the film is more fun than it is good but for me this is far more preferable than the majority of modern digitally shot CGI enhanced horror that is churned out these days.

This horror movie from 1989 really embodies the entire spirit and feel of the 1980 horror movies. It is hard to put a concrete example on what it is to it that makes it so, but it just is.

"The Vineyard" is fairly straight forward. A reclusive wine grower, famous for his unique wines, have invited a group of young aspiring actors to his estate for what they believe in to be a party and an audition for a movie. However, the wine maker has something else in store for the young people, as he needs them to brew his special wine; a wine that has kept him young and alive for centuries.

The effects in the movie were very 1980s. Just watch the movie, and you will know immediately what I am talking about here. The zombies weren't particularly detailed, but I assume for a movie from back then they were quite good.

The storyline is generic and stereotypical for late 1980s horror movies, being predictable to the core. But still, the movie is fun to watch because it is campy and cheesy. And it was fun to watch James Hong in this particular role. Being a fan of Hong Kong cinema, it was also fun to watch Michael Wong in this movie.

If you enjoy horror movies from the 1980s, then "The Vineyard" is definitely one to watch. And the ending is guaranteed to have you laughing...

My Gooooood! I'm just tired to repeat this eternal question: Why was this movie ever made? This is worse than Troll 2, worse than Witchery and Crawlers, it sucks. All the characters and "actors" (they're unique, they have done only this feature)are involved in this story only because they will be victims. This movie just hurts. Zombie make up is cheap and acting and script are hopeless... Total failure!