The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

I took my three year old daughter to the theatre to see this movie this afternoon. I've heard criticism of it for not having an explicit enough Christian theme - the Veggie Tales are, after all, a Christian outreach ministry to children. Some seem to think they've "crossed over." For those not familiar with that term, from a Christian point of view, a "cross over" is a Christian entertainer - usually a singer - who moves to the secular side of the entertainment world. Elvis Presley (from gospel singer to king of rock and roll) is probably the best known cross-over. The Veggie Tales crew probably left themselves open to that charge by doing an essentially secular Saturday cartoon for NBC. Having watched this movie, though, I think that particular criticism is unfair. It's true that Christian content isn't explicit in this movie, but it's certainly there. There are constant references to help from above; there's the king who tells the "heroes" that he'll always be with them; the same king looks out for widows and orphans; and there's the over-arching theme of the movie, which is that even little guys like Larry the Cucumber and Pa Grape can become big heroes, a la David and Goliath. So, if you get the analogies, you get the Christian content, much like C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia.

It wasn't the content that was the problem here. The story is about 3 unlikely heroes somehow going back in time to help rescue a kidnapped princess. The title comes from a "Silly Song by Larry" in one of the VT videos. It's cute, a bit scary at times for wee ones and promotes good values. But the problem as I see it is that Veggie Tales was never intended for the big screen. The videos are fairly short and usually include 3 or 4 different items - stories, songs, etc. The movie essentially takes one theme and goes with it for about an hour and twenty minutes, which is probably too much for the audience of little kids that were present while I was there. I think this was a decent effort to bring the Veggie Tales sense of values to the movies, but I don't think I'd want them to do it again. 6/10

I took the kids to see this one, and they all thoroughly enjoyed themselves (even the teenager!). Personally, I got a kick out of the story; with all the twists and turns, you never know what is coming next, or where it will all lead. There are realistic personal situations for our favorite veggies to deal with, plenty of action to keep things moving along, and all the laughs and silliness that we have come to expect from Veggie Tales. The moral was there, of course, presented so wonderfully and cleverly that even the secular audience grasp and appreciate the lesson. Once again, Big Idea has served us up a delightful tale for the entire family, that children of all ages can see with no worries by their parents.

This movie is not likely to win (or be nominated for) any awards. But that does not change the fact that it was an amusing distraction for the children. It seemed to be a variation of Galaxy Quest, which was a fun movie itself. This, of course, was more kid-oriented, and my three children (ages 3, 6, and 9) all enjoyed the show - the 9 year old enjoyed it in spite of himself.

It was a cute movie with a positive message that used humor to advance the story as opposed to a movie that makes up a story to move from pratfall to pratfall. It's a rare treat in movie-making these days, and one that is worth checking out - at a matinée.

Um. Idk why this thing exists. It's funny. Has some good themes ig. It's a VeggieTales movie tho. Hmmmmm 52/100

#44

Reviewer name and watch date: Andrew Thorpe, 6/22/2022, Wed.

Movie title and release year: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,, (2008)

52/100, E-

1a - Attraction value - upon first contact, is the idea appealing?: 4/10 1b - Attraction value - cast, plot, series, other medium influence?: 6/10 2a - Acting - casting - lead, supporting, villain, etc: 5/15 2b - Acting - character interaction, emotional connection: 9/15 3a - Dialogue - use for moving plot forward, nuance: 7/10 3b - Dialogue - writing quality, profanity, comedy: 12/15 4a - Plot - logical within universe, easy to follow, makes sense: 10/15 4b - Plot - quality, is it a good plot? Too long, unique?: 10/15 5a - Themes & motifs - symbolism, strong impressions: 12/15 5b - Themes & motifs - applicable ideas/thoughts, call to action: 5/5 6a - Cinematography - pace of editing, cuts, scene length, etc: 5/15 6b - Cinematography - angle, tone mood of shots: 5/15 7a - Effects - practical - explosions, large animals & vehicles: 4/5 7b - Effects - practical - costumes, weapons, props: 2/5 7c - Effects - practical - settings, scenery: 2/5 7d - Effects - special - CGI, green screen: 1/5 8a - Sound - score - conveying mood, determining attitude, etc: 10/20 8b - Sound - sound fx - foley, gunshots, explosions, dialogue, sound quality: 5/10 9a - Direction - quality - vision, concept, should this movie exist?: 5/10 9b - Direction - choices - execution of vision, cohesiveness: 5/15 10 - Bonus - up to 30 bonus points: 5/30 Total out of 250: 129/250.

I am a Veggietales fan. I enjoy most of the television episodes, although some are better than others. Jonah was a decent showing of the Veggietales on the big screen, but I have to say I am disappointed in Pirates.

I just found myself bored. The laughs were few, and very far between. The storyline was not very original, very predictable and I miss the Biblical lessons that Veggietales are known for. There was still a lesson, but not one we haven't heard before in a billion other better made movies for the secular audience.

I was trying to pay attention to how the kids in the theater were reacting. I heard one young boy behind me say "that was good" when the show ended, but I'm not sure if he was remarking on the "Rock Monster" (think B52s "Rock Lobster") song at the end, which is catchy and lighthearted (too bad more of the movie wasn't that way) or if he meant the whole show. The kids didn't seem to fidget too much while the movie was playing...but I was.

I just know that Big Idea has better ideas under its sleeve than this. I'm hoping their next venture is up to par.