The Hooligan Factory

I don't usually review anything ever. Because most films are relatively reviewed fairly, bar the odd strange fanboy or the liberal lefty, fat pride, blue haired feminist that doesn't find anything funny because they're so uptight and scared to move without offending someone one shade darker than porcelain. The jokes are 85% hit 5 % cringe and 10% miss but all in all it's a funny comedy. The main lead is really perfect, I love how he sees everything that's clearly happening and everyone else is obvious to the obvious dilemmas and threats around themselves. It's not a perfect movie by any strstch of the imagination and I probably wouldn't have rated it so highly but I suppose I have tried to offset the negative reviews that have gave it a measly 1 star, for what reason?? Because the people that reviewed it have no sense of humour. Comedy's that get 5 stars or more are subjectively more like 10 star reviews because 50% of the population are miserable, politically correct, take a knee and bow to the establishment, 6 striped bow, pandering degenerates that don't want anything to do with the normal, backbone, cornerstones of the world. Believe what you want. Dont knock something because you hate white me .

First of all, most of these user reviews are made by friends of the filmmakers ( Yes Lucas Penn, i'm talking to you. You're listed as one of the cast !!!!) These guys obviously want to make a good impression On Nick Nevern and Jason Maza but please. You are fooling no one The film just simply ain't that funny. don't waste your money. They're trying to do what Shaun of the Dead did for zombie movies but they have fallen flat on their muggy faces. They are obviously trying to get as many people to watch this by putting out a massive campaign on Twitter and Facebook but it is not enough to mask the fact that this film isn't as good as it should be

I have criticised the American film industry for having a lack of imagination . Reboots , franchises . car chases , explosions and CGI . To be fair this type of movie sells and never kill a golden goose . The British film industry deserves some criticism too along the same lines . Guy Ritchie comes along and all of a sudden every British release features mockney gangsters calling each other "Slag" and a few other naughty words . An off shoot of this was the football hooligan film where instead of gangster running around with shooters we had variably dressed blokes who follow West Ham FC ( They're always ICF West Ham fans ) running around with Stanley knives . If you've seen one you've probably seen them all . That said I did think RISE OF THE FOOTSOLDIER was a gritty hard hitting thriller that mixed the Brit gangster thriller and hooligan film very well

THE HOOLIGAN FACTORY starts with a direct referential spoof of the climax of that film and is genuinely funny , along with having a couple of cameos of the usual suspects who appear in these type of movies . This is to be honest the highlight of the movie because I was expecting a few more of the mockney celebrity cadre to appear throughout the movie . This unfortunately doesn't happen but for what we get , an affectionate low brow lampooning of hooligan and gangster films it works relatively well . There might be a previous knowledge of other films required from the audience in order to get the jokes but let's face it guys if you've seen a British film over the last 15 years it will be one involving either gangsters or the ICF

I'm not a fan of soccer/football but I know the insane nature of some of the "fans" and their proclivity to violence. But I also had the advantage of not knowing this was supposed to be a parody of the more serious hooligan genre that was popular at the time as I didn't watch any of those serious takes on the subject. For me it was just an absurdist take on the nature of such sporting fanatics who really are just there to fight and enjoy more the sport of beating each other senseless. So maybe I enjoyed it because I wasn't comparing it to anything. The characters were cartoonish and there was plenty of funny bits to keep me watching. The pacing was good and the production quality was admirable for such low-brow base humor. Performances were good as the characters really held up in my mind. You absolutely had to have gone it hating this movie to end up hating it in the end. It's silly, it's brutal, but it's just entertainment and I was entertained.

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

Danny (Jason Meza) is the off-spring of his father, a once legendary football hooligan who has disappeared from his life. After being expelled from school and wanting more out of life, he crosses paths with Dex (Nick Nevern, also directing) another big name footie hooligan who's just been released from prison. Together, they go about re-uniting the old firm and trying to restore their former glory, but those days may be well behind them.

Even after they really ceased to hold their cult appeal, these British gangster/firm films still get put out a lot in the direct to DVD market, with a load of no name or little known actors in the lead role. So frequently do they appear, it seemed a fitting idea to make a film lampooning them all, and Nick Nevern's film is certainly thorough, sending up everything from Green Street, to more big time stuff like Goodfellas, only rarely to very funny result. It plays too much like a standard hooligan film, from the dialogue to the set up, and at times feels even more depressing than the usual such stuff.

Hyped up a fair bit by social media, with many of the cast and crew and their families allegedly behind it, it's all too evident why this enjoyed what could only have been the briefest of cinema visits. *