Iceman

"Iceman" begins with a ship carrying what looks like three cryogenic tubes. Then, in a flashback, a Chinese officer is being accused of conspiring with the dreaded Japanese pirates back in the 17th century. However, when the Emperor of China's men try to apprehend him, his is transported to the present day Hong Kong--and you realize he's one of the guys in the cryo tubes. Here in the 21st century, he's out of place but also amazingly clever and helpful. I liked this part of the film. Soon, however, he's caught up in all sorts of intrigues and it all has to do with the Golden Wheel of Time and the god Shiva's penis (I am serious about this last part) and a bazillion cops trying to kill him. Can this visitor from the past take on a HUGE army of cops and win?

When "Iceman" began, it felt a lot like I'd seen this sort of plot in another film. The French film "Les Visiteurs" (remade in the US as "Just Visiting") is a silly film where the hero is magically transported many centuries into the future. Here in the present, the knight is completely out of his element and is a bumbler. The film is played strictly for laughs. Here with "Iceman", however, when the soldier is magically transported into the future, he inexplicably is like superman! Not only does he possess nearly god-like fighting and intellectual powers at times, but he also seems to magically understand technology--and he inexplicably uses the internet and destroys surveillance cameras! To me, none of this really made a lot of sense. How could a man from centuries before know how to do an internet search or understand what cameras are?! For me, this was a big problem with Iceman--it just didn't make a lot of sense. If a man is somehow transported to today from the distant past, the comical way "Les Visiteurs" handled it seems much, much more likely--with the guy drinking from toilets and getting into one problem after another. Instead, it goes from being a bit charming to being very confusing and very violent. Then, it becomes a huge, explosive finale where there are tons of explosions and violence and mindless mayhem. The charm just doesn't last very long.

So is it worth seeing? Well, if you have nothing better to do...sure. But as I mentioned above, quite a bit about the hero just didn't make a lot of sense in "Iceman". Instead, while I never loved "Les Visiteurs", I'd recommend you see it over "Iceman".

Judging from the cover I thought this was a period piece Martial Arts movie. But it does play in the modern times (that's in the 21st century). It might be convoluted and not good in its appeal to tell a story, but it does have Donnie Yen in it. And while he has done some way better movies (just the IP Man trilogy alone, but many more of course), he's always a pleasure to watch (fight).

Sometimes the comedy does work, though it's very plain to put it mildly. But while this isn't a masterpiece by any means, there have been worse movies. And I've seen a couple of them too. So this is entertaining to a degree, but if you don't watch too many movies, you may wanna skip this

ICEMAN is Donnie Yen's much-lauded remake of the Yuen Biao-starring '80s martial arts classic, THE ICEMAN COMETH. It sees Ming bodyguard Yen and a couple of his foes frozen in time and transported to the present day, where they continue their battle to the death while coming to terms with modern-day society.

I thought the original film was pretty good, with the reliable Yuen Wah as the villain and some great action, although it's not a favourite of mine. However, it's far, far better than this unfocused and messy comedy which sees Yen at his very worst. It's similar to THE EMPEROR AND THE WHITE SNAKE in that all of the action is augmented with endless wirework and dodgy CGI which makes for a very boring viewing experience overall. My favourite Yen films are the realistic ones like IP MAN and FLASH POINT, not the stupid CGI fantasy on offer here.

ICEMAN is overlong and overly pointless, with lots of random scenes that don't go anywhere. It's also offensive, with gross-out lowbrow comedy seemingly shoehorned in at random, and ethnic stereotypes cast throughout as the villains. Yen is on autopilot, as is Simon Yam, but the rest of the cast are plain awful. Particularly Huang Shengyi (THE EMPEROR AND THE WHITE SNAKE); I really can't understand how she keeps getting work as an actress.

I have been a Donnie Yen fan every since I saw him in the first Ip Man film. Now every time I see a Donnie Yen film shown locally (which is not often), I try to catch it. Last year, he shifted his fighting style from elegant Wing Chun to gritty MMA in the film called "Special ID". This year, Yen turns to fantasy fighting in "Iceman".

Mainly "Iceman" was about a group of four friends who are high officials in the Imperial Guards during the Ming Dynasty. Three of them frame He Ying with conspiring with Japanese pirates, leading to his execution. As he tries to escape, he gets caught in an avalanche, gets cryogenically preserved, only to wake up in present day Hong Kong. Two of his traitor "friends" also wake up with him to continue their 400 year old fight.

He Wing is a kind and helpful guy, especially to the girl who took him in, May. He even helps May with her invalid mother currently in a nursing home. He Wing is also on some sort of quest, searching for the key to the so-called Golden Wheel of Time, an ancient time machine of sorts. Furthermore there is a group of corrupt cops who are after the three frozen Ming guys to sell to a North Korean buyer. All these plot lines could not really be settled in one film, as the ending obviously pointed towards a sequel.

Acting is cheesy. The comedy is lowbrow, slapstick with jokes about various body functions. The best parts of the film are still the fight scenes, even if the style was old-fashioned with a lot of obvious wire work. The climactic fight scene is the awesome three-way in the middle of a suspension bridge, with chains vs. sword vs. battle axe. Exciting stuff, though it went a bit overboard with its length.

I'm not sure what Donnie Yen was thinking when signed up for this. I hope he got some good money because this movie is so idiotic that it can ruined even decades of fame in its 1 hour and 45 minutes.

I can't really understand why this is considered the Captain America of Hong Kong either.

The script is incoherent to say the least. The genres shift abruptly from slapstick comedy to action and to drama and to horror in a split second. The editing is a total mess and in addition, you have to deal with some really annoying whooshes every time the location or the age changes.

There is an OK I guess martial arts choreography by Yen himself but isn't enough to make the movie worth seeing.

To tell you the truth I'm very disappointed from the latest martial arts movies.

Overall: watch it on DVD or on the Internet.