H.P. Lovecraft: Two Left Arms

I toughed this one out and watched the entire movie. WHY !? There was no single, understandable plotline and nothing made sense. The dialogue also shuttled back and forth between heavily accented English and Italian without benefit of subtitles. None of the characters were either well-developed or particularly believable and the scenes kept changing with astonishing irregularity; I could never figure out what was going on. Bad shooting, bad script, bad acting. At lease, if they were shooting in the Italian countryside, they could have given us some beautiful shots of architecture and local scenery. Unfortunately, aside from a couple quick shots inside a generic church, everything was drab, decayed and downright ugly. We were also offered up the obligatory quick shot of Paolo Stella's wee-willie-winkie. Again...WHY !? The only barely suggestive Lovecraftian element in this drek is the strange suggestion of cephalopod tentacles in silhouette towards the end. If throwing an odd tentacle or two into a movie is all it takes to claim connexion to H.P. Lovecraft, then I get more horror fare and satisfaction every time I go to the marina and order calamari and fried octopus. The only reason I couldn't give this movie a perfect zero is because the ratings system on IMDB ? It doesn't have a basement.