Checkmate

I simply cannot put into words how absolutely, positively horrible this movie is. The acting is utterly laughable (and I don't mean in a cute, spoofy way), the scenes unbelievable and every other word is a swear. Police that can't contain a crime scene or shoot, robbers that don't rob and many hacked together scenes, all thrown in as if it was a pot of chicken soup and would somehow magically all turn out lovely and delicious in the end. It's too bad, this pot is full of inedible garbage that even the toughest iron gut would spew out immediately. I wondered if Danny Glover owed someone a favor and that's why he did this film. It's the only reason that makes any sense. Unfortunately, even he can't save this stinky bomb. Please don't waste your time on this one - it is truly too bad to describe.

This movie is almost worth watching just to see how ridiculously bad it is.

Every 3rd word or so is an F bomb. That wouldn't be a problem if there was some kind of reason for it or if it were in context. But it's not. It's like the director just said "Throw in a lot of F's just to shock the viewer".

Catholilc priest is a sniper hit-man. Seems totally out of context to the movie. But there doesn't seem to be much "context" to the movie at all anyway.

Two guys playing high stakes chess for some kind of document that might be something like "Immortality". The "Devil" guy that loses the game has thugs with guns that can't beat a chick with a samurai sword. So after those thugs get beat up he calls on his "back up thugs" which consists of people in bathing suits wearing devil Halloween masks. Needless to say the devil aspect has no context to the movie either.

Chick flies a Robinson helicopter with something like a sailboat tiller in reverse. Then in another shot she has some kind of steering wheel.

SWAT team...Couple dozen cops can't shoot a guy standing in the open on the roof. In all fairness, that guy, with his automatic sub-gun, can't hit any of the cops either. Cops fail to notice the bad guy sniper on the roof, the priest sniper in the building across the street nor the bad guy getaway van with two thugs parked in plain view.

None of the actors seemed like they had any lines. It's like some director grabbed anyone off the sound stage and said "OK, sit here, pick up the phone and say something like ""Put me through to Captain""..." The incorrect grammar in my above actual line was deliberate. It's the actual line.

If the acting had been great, it would almost be like a really good parody movie, like "Airplane" or "Police Story" one of the Mel Brooks movies. But the acting sucked. The technical believability sucked. The continuity sucked. And the actors all looked like someone they rounded up at the last minute and offered them lunch if they'd be in the movie.

This rubbish is so bad that I was not going to write a review, as I did not think I would be able to put how bad it is into words.

However, I felt that it was important to warm my fellow humans, and so decided to try.

If I said that a bunch of schoolchildren could do better, I would be insulting all schoolchildren everywhere.

If you compared this rubbish to the first day of an acting school course, you would expect that the lecturer would have gone out the back and committed suicide half way through, just to avoid the second half. 80% of the dialogue consists of the word f#ck....and all it's derivatives.

Not only is there no story, but what there is is so confusing as to be a health hazard. Do not even look for acting. It simply is non existent. Please, do not be duped by the inclusion of Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones. At this point, moviegoers must accept that if either one or both of them are in a movie that it is a very good reason to avoid it at all costs. They are not even trying to hide the fact anymore that they are simply selling their names to absolute rubbish, and are quite happy to walk away with a fat cheque, and could not give a damn about their fans. It is truly sad.

Please....please...do not be tempted to spend hard earned cash on this tripe, just so these idiots can laugh all the way to the bank. You will never forgive yourself for wasting precious time and money on the worst trash ever to hit the screen.

**** The movie is plain awful **** It was on Netflix, saw Danny Glover and expected something. What an unbearable movie. Normally I read the reviews and STOP. I never like to post any commentary. This time, the movie was so horrible, I broke my promise to myself, created an Yahoo! ID, confirmed it and created the IMDb id, confirmed it and then typed it. I am so determined to post this so that no one goes through the horror of watching this movie. Waterboarding may not be this horrible. And what is with the F* bombs, is it supposed to make them look 'bad'. Their acting (or lack of that) ensures that they are bad. What a horrible piece of movie. They could have sent the money on this to some charity organization. Is this a piece done for some laundering ?

It's funny that the movie references chess for its title, because there's barely any hint of intelligent present. Ambitiously, it mixes many subplots and alternating timelines together even though Checkmate can't even get one perspective right. Underutilized actors, excessive amount of profanity and utter lack of logic make this movie into a terribly sketchy experience.

Story revolves around the events of a bank heist. Unlike recent thrillers where there's a clear plan, Checkmate goes old school with mask and gun through the front door. There are a lot of subplots slapped together for any dramatic effect. They can't all miss their marks, right? Sadly, and incredibly, they can.

It's nearly amazing that not one character feels believable. You have the sniper priest, desperate thugs, mafia kingpins and poor sick kid, all of which have zero on-screen credibility. The pacing is completely off, it might try to shift between different perspectives for better development, but the shoddy delivery only makes narrative worse.

Script is all kind of swearwords. The most used lines are variation of "F this, F that". I'm not kidding, it's literally repetition of F-bomb while a few of more notable actors like Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones spew gibberish from facebook cat poster or random quote book. You'll hear crude profanity or pretentious bible quote for the entire movie as well as screeching repetitive soundtracks.

Then, there's the problem of the logic. The robbers put on their mask on the step of the back where camera and witness might spot them. They voluntarily run away from cover and shoot a la Rambo. There are so many things wrong with the logic, but the movie just brushes it off as though audience wouldn't notice.

Checkmate plays with mindless plots and dribbling profanity. It's a chain of awful sequences thrown randomly together that deserves no viewing.