The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock

Lou Costello (sans Abbott) plays a small town self-employed "rubbish collector" (and the inventor of a time-controlling machine!) who is secretly courting the niece of the town big-shot. After a spat, Lou's girl (Dorothy Provine) runs into a misty cave--why it's misty we never learn--and emerges as a 30 foot giant. Provine is certainly a good sport, and she doesn't bother trying not to look ridiculous (it would've been impossible anyway), yet the screenwriter is really cruel to this character, turning her not only into a giant but a nagging harpy as well. Provine bosses Costello around while creating havoc with the Army troops who get called in, but nothing funny is done with the transformation. Trumped by "Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman" the previous year, the film does feature Lou Costello in his final bow, but provides little else. The special effects are marginal, while the script needed funnier lines and the direction snappier pacing. *1/2 from ****

THE 30 FOOT BRIDE OF CANDY ROCK (1959) ** Lou Costello, Dorothy Provine, Gale Gordon. Costello's only film without partner Bud Abbott and sadly his final one (he died before the film was released) casts him in this fantasy comedy as hapless rubbish collector and amateur inventor Artie Pinsetter (great name), in love with the lovely niece of disgruntled politico Gordon, who unwittingly turns her into a giantess (!) Oh the possibilities... but the film falters with some cheap special effects and lame plot, but Provine is a sight in a parachute-inspired tunic! Va-va-va-VOOM! HEY ABBOTT!! Begging for a remake, say with Jason Alexander and Gina Gershon/Famke Janssen/Sela Ward or Selma Blair? Or for the Gen.Y say Britney Spears and Seth Green? Hey Now!! Just a thought.

Well I just happened across this movie on AMC tonight, and all I can say is it's too bad Lou Costello went from being the better half of a comic duo to this unfunny movie. This was released shortly after his death in 1959 and you could tell by his appearance here that he did not look well. Whoever produced this movie thought it would be a good idea to combine science fiction which was quite popular at this time with a comic overtone. Lou Costello plays a trash collector/inventor who must defend his 30 foot wife from the army. (No spoilers!) Ten years earlier he would have screamed "Aaabbotttt!!!" if he saw a giant woman. But those days were gone. The jokes in this movie might have been funny for their time, but I've seen the jokes here used countless times already in other films. In a scale of 1 to 10, all I can give it is a 5.

Well, maybe not, but it's still fun to watch. I think they got many of the visual ideas for that Neil Finn video from this movie. It's Lou Costello's last acting role; he's an inventor whose only supporter is his girlfriend (played by Dorothy Provine). They go on a date to a remote gorge, she breathes in fumes wafting out from underground, and grows... and GROWS!

Costello rushes back to town to ask her uncle (played by Gale Gordon) for help; when he tells Gordon "Oh, she's big... she's really BIG... you've gotta help us!" Gordon gets the wrong idea, forces Costello to marry her... THEN he finds out what "big" meant when he comes to visit. Costello spends most of the movie using his inventions to try to restore Provine to normal.

It's a good light sci-fi comedy; Provine plays a gentle (if reluctant) giantess, and she also looks cute in a sheet.

It sounds as though "The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock" had kind of a bad reputation simply because Lou Costello was acting without Bud Abbott. Maybe so, but I think that the movie merits a lot of discussion about its era. The relationships between the sexes is obviously very dated. As it happens, one of the jokes centers around the fact that people weren't allowed to say pregnant on screen.

Basically, the movie is an innocuously silly send-up of all the sci-fi flicks about people becoming giants. And besides, how can you not like the sight of Dorothy Provine wearing a parachute and looking like a vestal virgin in a sword-and-sandal epic? It's not anything special, but if the point is to entertain, then it succeeds.

The sight of Dorothy Provine dressed like that is going to elate me for years to come.