Saturday the 14th Strikes Back

The only thing I remember from having seen the original "Saturday the 14th" a couple of years ago is wanting to forget that I ever watched it and pretend it never happened. I probably also promised myself around the time never to watch the sequel, but what else can you do when you're slowly running out of crap to watch? "Saturday the 14th" was a completely NOT funny horror comedy that never once even came close to making me laugh. The sequel is even worse. The references towards classic horror films are disgraceful and the attempted jokes are pathetic. A frustrated teenager narrates the bone-headed story of his family moving into a sinister and ramshackle house and the strange occurrences that are taking place there. Apparently there's a crack in the floor somewhere in this house, and all evil of the world enters through it. On the next Saturday the 14th, which is only six days away, the evil forces will take over and the world will cease to exist. Well, great plan, I'm all for it! If the world ceases to exist, at least nobody will have to watch this crap ever again. I'm fully aware of the fact that the basic plot description doesn't sound that terrible, but please don't be misled. This is the worst of the worst. A selection of the finest humorist pieces include a pipes construction worker who turns into a chicken after being exposed to gas, a cookie eating monster hiding under the bed, the reconstruction of the Statue of Liberty in chocolate pudding and an agonizingly long musical interlude of the Singing Vampire Sisters. There's a small but nevertheless embarrassing cameo appearance of "The Hills Have Eyes" cult icon Michael Berryman. By the time the film reached its climax, which exists of a wild monster party, I came really close to poking my eyes out with a rusty spoon.

Howard R. Cohen for some reason was thinking audiences were clamouring to get back to the theatre to watch another SATURDAY THE 14TH movie. So he gave us that. This 1988 sequel has nothing to do with the original. Jason Presson plays Eddie Baxter who's got himself a pretty weird family including Gramps played by Ray Walston. His house is on top of a crack within the earth and we witness some strange happenings going on with the family.

Ridiculously bad and luckily only comes in at 78 minutes. Right from the start of the film you see a beach with scary music playing. Pretty scary huh? Terror and screaming in fright are the last things on my mind when I see a beach. That is how the film is set up. No real laughs and no real scares. in this one.

Teenager Eddie has to save The World from ancient evil forces that are coming from a crack in the family home's basement. On Saturday the 14th. In my opinion the original movie was a reasonably entertaining monster romp. This, the sequel, is just plain awful, a painful 78 minutes. It isn't funny, it's dumb. The only two things that I sort of liked was the Gramps character and horror legend Michael Berryman playing a Mummy, though this is undoubtedly the worst movie that I have seen him in and he looked embarrassed to be in it. Under no circumstances would I recommend this trash.

The original Saturday the 14th was not good, but it had some funny moments with Paula Prentiss, Richard Benjamin and Jeffrey Tambor. The horrible "special effects" were comical because you knew it was just a spoof on horror movies. With that being said, the first Saturday the 14th was a lousy movie, but watchable. Jeffrey Tambor made for an interestingly ominous vampire, and the strange behavior of Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss as a couple before things got weird just fit with the crappy B movie theme.

Saturday the 14th Strikes Back has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. There is no story line, the acting is just dreadful, and I just can't figure why it was written and then green-lighted for production. Watching grass grow or paint dry for 74 minutes would be far more entertaining than this movie.

It is truly a rare occurrence that I can say there is almost NOTHING in the film worth seeing, but this is one of those few cases! This movie was AWFUL! I couldn't believe how bad it was. This is most definitely the worst sequel I've ever seen to a movie. I didn't think the first "Saturday the 14th" was anything great, but at least it wasn't horrible, this film is just BAD!

The acting is quite bad, the story is stupid, the comedy is nearly non-existent, the directing is less than top-notch, the make-up effects and special effects are really bad. The only good thing I can say about this film is the acting of Ray Walston, I don't know why, but I've always liked his acting (although I can't imagine why he would choose to do this role). Other than Ray, this movie is virtually worthless.

I would definitely recommend spending 74 minutes of your life doing something else or watching a better movie, but if you absolutely must, be my guest. Thanks for reading,

-Chris