White Dragon

What do you get if you take the uncomfortable teenage sense of humour of High School Musical and replace the music numbers with sword fights and martial arts choreography? Something very closely resembling The White Dragon, as it turns out.

And unfortunately this is not really a good thing. The very Western sense of humour clashes horribly with the Oriental aesthetic and ideals, making the whole experience more baffling and uncomfortable than funny or thought-provoking. More often than it feels more like a parody than an actual comedy, which I sense wasn't the intended goal of the film makers.

Aside from that, it's not even that good of a wuxia film. And not just because the immature jokes water the subject matter down, but because it lacks the grandeur and philosophy of a proper wuxia film. Again, more like a parody than a proper representation of its intended genre.

That's not to say that the actors are untalented or that the fight scenes are not fun to watch, but while it may look fine, it lacks soul and passion. Though admittedly this applies to most comedies nowadays, because it's so easy to gain cheap laughs by pandering to the lowest common denominator. In that regard this movie is no different from Hollywood's usual fare.

If you can stomach most comedies and would like to see one with a wuxia setting, then The White Dragon is worth checking out. But if you're looking for a traditional wuxia film or require some semblance of thought from your movies, then look elsewhere.

If you have ever watched a 90s Hong Kong action/comedy...say city hunter with jackie chan (ie: Jackie chan as Chun Li from street fighter) then you know just how unserious these movies can be. This is an example of it (this genre happens to be one of my favorites). This movie has managed to incorporate jokes from the new millenia into the a feudal china setting. If you aren't entertained by a teenage girl smashing a sitar on a pillar in rock star form and then crowd surfing, then this movie might not be for you. If you are however just looking to be entertained and don't really care if the movie is real quality or not then this will do. The story isn't really innovative, the jokes are pretty cheesy, the lines are pretty cheesy too, but you know if people didn't make these types of movies then there wouldn't be a cliché or a norm. So take it for what it is, a silly movie designed to entertain you with out a lot of drama or required brain power. It's a movie, it's job was to entertain, it did for the most part. I could probably do without the last couple of minutes of the movie.

6/10, it is average for the most part, Cecilia Chung looks pretty cute in this movie. The blind guy...just looks goofy or like hes having seizures. You might say I have no taste, I say don't be so picky, you might starve to death.

I picked the DVD off the shelf with hopes of a Crouching Tiger/Hero/Flying Daggers experience..in fact, the DVD brief even makes a reference to this flick being in the same vein as House of Flying Daggers. Do not be fooled. The description given to this DVD on the case is misleading and will not aptly describe the movie whatsoever. With ancient Chinese musicians playing historical United States tunes on their flutes and references to McDonalds, this is nothing more than Mall Rats, Clueless and so much other teenage drivel pumped out by Hollywood studios wrapped in the beautiful costumes of the recent Chinese hits of late. The English dub is so fantastically painful that I found myself scrunching my eyes closed tighter than I thought possible. The plot does not suffer so much from the premise as it does from the horrible interactions of the characters who fill in the spaces between pointed scenes with American elementary school politics. Avoid this movie at all costs if you are looking for what is promised on the DVD description offered up by the distributor. Of course, if you are a 12 year old girl moving to china to go to school in a Chinese elementary school where all your peers will be imitating American culture learned from Saturday morning cartoons, then this is right up your alley.

So here's the gist of it: Phoenix Black, a pretty young woman in China two hundred or so years ago, a one-dimensional victim of the director's need to rehash the silly-teen-girl-who-loves-to-shop jokes, inherits the powers of the White Dragon via simulated computer-download. Because she's in love with the Prince, she must fight to save him from the country's top assassin, a man named Chicken Feathers. She is aided by Gene, a young man with an impressive knowledge of modern forensics.

Throughout the course of the story, though, Phoenix finds out that Chicken Feathers is a decent man, and falls in love with him as well. Now she must learn where her loyalties lie and uncover the mystery of who hired Chicken Feathers to assassinate the Prince.

To be fair, if you can stomach the first twenty minutes of silicon-age silliness blending with feudal China affairs, and the last ten minutes of western-world make-me-puke-mega-happy-endings, then the rest of the show ain't so bad. Though the wire-fu is growing tiresome, the sword play is decent. The love story is slightly appreciable, though on the whole less than respectable.

Cecilia Cheung, who's always delightful to see does an admirable job of taking a lame role seriously, and she gets to play a character with two cool names: Phoenix Black and White Dragon, Jr. The other supporting characters are just silly. The conspiracy story is dumb and over-abused in Western cinema. The blind assassin with a pure heart story is even more over-abused in Eastern films. I would have hoped that something coming out of Hong Kong would have had more substance.

The worst of the film, though, is that the director tries to blend modern silliness akin to Leslie Nielsen's Mr. Magoo (actually, you could reference just about anything Nielsen has done for the last twenty years) with all the pageantry of Eastern period-piece films. What you end up with is computer download power transfers, and a débutante of ancient China playing ancient Chinese songs on a flute while acting like a rock star and stage diving.

Needless to say, the mixing just doesn't blend. People who honestly express the thought that this is a great movie only demonstrate their foolishness, and an all-too-frightening penchant for idiocy.

Saw this on a double bill with "Springtime in a Small Town".

What an odd pairing!

"Springtime" was a deliberately paced, beautiful period piece and "The White Dragon" was an in-your-face laugh riot.

Another movie patron warned me that I would be wasting my time, but I ended up thoroughly enjoying it.

Never laughed so hard at an Asian film!

A lot of sight gags but Francis Ng's over the top performance won me over. Cecilia Cheung does a credible job as his foil.

Certainly not "high art", but if you desire a little levity and silliness, you won't be disappointed.

The late afternoon-evening that I spent watching these two films is one of my favorite solo adult experiences, so they'll always hold a place in my heart.