J'ai tué ma mère

Oh, I wish there were words capable enough to describe this film - to describe how it made me feel. But maybe there aren't. So, we'll make do with those we have.

I saw this movie at the 50th International Film Festival of Thessaloniki - a festival I've been going to for about 8 years, give-or-take. And this is the best movie I've seen in all those years, through all those movies. It's so intense it rips you apart, full of the most sublime poetry, simplicity raging and screaming. The direction is so meticulously studied - nothing left to chance - every single take and scene offering gravity to the characters. Even now, that I see the poster of the film, it's so brilliant is ridiculous how much. It has this sad-looking child on it, when in the film, we only see a child for seconds, and it is a happy-looking child in those seconds.

After the second half I was constantly crying. I can bet that I'm from the few people who have cried in this film - if not the only one. Because there really isn't something in it that can prompt tears. But it is one of the most intense, most human, most real films I've watched in my life. I wanted to explode, to stand up and shout. I kept switching positions in my seat, I shook my head and laughed and wanted it to end because I couldn't take anymore. And when it was over, I wanted to watch it again.

It's so far my favorite movie of this year. No, scratch that. It's my favorite movie of the last few years. If not my favorite movie amongst the few I hold so dear.

I wish Xavier Dolan can be funded to create more, more, more films in the future. Even though, I already think he has created his chef-d'oeuvre.

She: like most mothers she cares for her son and looks after him. She drives him to school, she washes his clothes, she cooks.

The downside: She uses these things as excuses to constantly make him feel guilty, make him feel like he owes her for loving him. She keeps accusing him of being ungrateful (though she never says it directly, but implies it in almost every conversation).

What's (arguably) worse: she refuses to listen to him. When she does listen, she doesn't take him seriously. She avoids confrontation, barring occasional hysterical outbursts.

He: makes it perfectly clear that he doesn't expect her to do all the material things for him that she does, and that he'd much rather fend for himself if that means not having to be made to feel guilty all the time.

She: is a struggling single mother, working each day to try to give him a better future. She has to face self-important people who judge her, but who have no idea about the kind of life she leads.

He: does not understand this. He does not see past her awful taste (in clothes and interior design). He thinks she's superficial. He refuses to let her be a part of his life, he criticizes her every word, her every move. He screams at her, insults her.

She: loves him.

He: loves her too. So much.

J'ai tue ma mere is an unflinchingly honest, masterfully shot portrayal of a strained mother/son relationship. Great actors, beautiful images and, I cannot emphasize this enough, absolutely spectacular technique.

Bravo Xavier Dolan! You have created a true work of art.

I attended a screening of "J'ai Tué Ma Mère" at the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival. Based on his own childhood and adolescence in Québec, Xavier Dolan's film probes the relationship between mother and child when the son's sexuality is in question. Awkward early relationships are difficult for any teen, let alone one burdened with his own fears and mother's unwillingness to accept his "difference." Arguments and fight scenes between Dolan and his mom (the stunning Anne Dorval) are painful to watch, but tender love scenes with François Arnaud provide a stark and welcome contrast.

The film is filled with anger, sadness, love, hate, and humor -- lots of it. It's a winner and received a standing ovation here. And some inspiration for budding filmmakers: Dolan wrote, directed, produced, and starred in J'ai Tué Ma Mère at the age of 19.

With his first feature, Montrealer Xavier Dolan has delivered what is already one of the most talked-about directorial debuts of 2009. In a triple-threat feat, Dolan writes, directs and stars in J'ai tué ma mère, the semi-autobiographical tale of a young gay man coming of age while struggling with his tortured relationship with his mother.

Their fights escalate until mom hatches a toxic plan: Hubert will be shipped off to boarding school. He is aghast but has little choice, as mom has managed to convince her ex-husband that a change of scenery is in the lad's best interests. Being banished to a mother-free zone might have seemed a good option for Hubert, but the move simply leads to an ultimate standoff between them. Dolan and Dorval navigate their way through the harried, increasingly vicious tête-à-têtes with delicacy, evoking sympathy for both characters.

Dolan's enthusiasm for cinema can be felt throughout J'ai tué ma mère. Combining assured writing, a confident directorial style (the scene where Hubert makes love to his boyfriend is a standout) and a beautifully rendered performance, Dolan's arrival on the big screen is an achievement that can't be ignored.

"J'ai tue ma mere" seems a little rough around the edges and Xavier Dolan doesn't frame his shots so that they're picture perfect, but it seemed to suit the story. More to the point, what was happening inside the frame was much too interesting, and often moving, and I watched the movie in its entirety from beginning to end.

"J'ai tue ma mere" is the story of a gay teenager and his mother in a single-parent household. Man, do I know that territory well! I don't like the word "dysfunctional" - it's coined psycho-babble. The household depicted here is about as real as I've ever seen in a film. It functions as well as it can given the tight quarters mother and son share. They're continually sparring. Hubert, wary, entirely self-centred and quite the drama queen, goes on rants and tries to push his mother's buttons and test her love, but when he needs a favour, it's back to calling her "mommy". I loved her philosophical stoicism, an attitude she developed, I would guess, to protect herself from hurt, and I was touched by Hubert's back-pedalling when he thinks he's gone too far. Both sweet and raw, this is is a relationship of love. I smiled during the scene when mom brings up his homosexuality and he's caught off-guard. Actually, I smiled for a number of reasons, one of which was because, for once, Hubert was speechless.

The film is open-ended, the way life is, and the way the young view life, far-reaching and full of possibilities. It's a lovely film - warm, frank and not without a little self-deprecating humour and genuine wit (the shot of the Virgin Mary, within a specific context). I was left with the feeling that this was a chapter in a life, a relationship, and I felt optimistic. Perhaps, one day, Xavier Dolan will continue the story on film. I look forward to it.