Old 37

First, I'd like to say that I'm grading this movie on a curve. It's not that great, and parts are downright amateurish (whoever was in charge of continuity should be smacked in the back of the head), but it's not all that bad and, for what it is, micro budget splatter horror, it's kind of entertaining.

I was really looking forward to this movie because of horror legends Bill Moseley (Otis Driftwood, Chop-Top) and Kane Hodder (Jason Voorhees, Victor Crowley), in the lead, because it had actual merchandise so I thought it might not be totally disposable, and because the idea is actually kind of cool. Two serial killers ride around in an ambulance preying on the injured, posing as paramedics. Not bad, huh?

Well, that's not really what it's about. It's about two sadistic rednecks, one a motor mouth sleaze ball (Moseley), the other a towering mute in a mask (Hodder), stalking a group of obnoxious rich kids that ran over their mother while drag racing. They vow revenge, and damn well get it in rather gory fashion.

The cast isn't embarrassingly bad, but not great either. There's too much teen melodrama and the first half really drags because of it. The second half, when Moseley and Hodder become more prevalent, is better.

The gore effects aren't bad, Moseley and Hodder are good playing exactly the kind of roles they usually play, Miley Cyrus's sister has a tiny part, there's too much music crammed into the movie from unknown indie bands, one girl briefly shows her butt, and continuity is terrible. Day and night seem like one big blur sometimes.

That's about all I have on this one. Check it out, or don't. Your call.

Ambulence 37, death call or old 37 was not an awful film i will say. At the beginning we are thrust into these brothers world and the grusomness they can get up to. But then I feel like we have about half hour of getting away from the plot. Theres a house party at a woman called brooks house, a woman called angel taking a joy ride with others that results in danger and our main final girl Amy, who wants breast implants because of her kickboxing dancing which really gets away from this whole thing and its not really a long film. Anyway we do get into the real stuff and its decent for what it was. Acting was a little rough at times and i do feel morsely and hoder deserved better but for what it was an enjoyable horror.

I figure a film with Kane Hodder and Bill Mosely as killer paramedics should be better. Its still watchable though. A quarter of the film plays like a Lifetime teen drama.

I had such expectations for this one. It promised me Bill Moseley as a villain, it promised me the-always-relevant twist (paramedics gone wrong) and thus both a psychological and visceral, brutal horror.

I expect many of you have the same expectations, but heed my warning - this is NOTHING compared to what it could've been.

This movie is an insult in regards to casting/acting, script/story, scenery/footage and editing/effects/gore. And no, you will not even laugh at how campy it is. You will feel insulted, and probably turn it off quite early.

I feel bad for Moseley. Poor, old man having to interact with such amateurs. You should get another agent.

2/10.

Taking an "Alan Smithee" seems petty. I can't imagine what "other" direction the director had in mind for this film. I mean, what other course could this film possibly have taken? This is boilerplate horror.

I couldn't finish this movie, which for a horror film - there's just no excuse for that. Even bad horror films hold one's attention, if only via anticipation. With this plot and this cast, they had a golden opportunity to make something genuinely cool and interesting.