Batalha dos Impérios

If ever anyone in the history of cinema has earned 2 hours of my life, it's Jackie Chan. Unfortunately, I was repaid this sentiment with two of the most horrible hours of cinema made in recent years.

When I heard of Romans fighting it out in the Silk Road, I liked the idea. But instead the film starts out with two Chinese historians (who speak English, naturally, since this is aimed at an international audience) searching for a lost city that the Romans built. The beginning is bad... ominously bad, and it only gets worse from there.

Rewind 2,000 years and with the tone set for a serious affair, until Jackie Chan adopts his usual "stunt-fu" in a fight scene completely out of place, but hey, it's Jackie Chan, so carry on.

Enter the Romans... John Cusack is his usual self but he seems to be accompanied by two of the most horrendous actors I've seen, in the guise of a child would-be Emporor and his male nanny. Actually, aside from Brody, Cusack and one or two Centurians, pretty much everyone who speaks English will make you cringe with how god-awful their "talent" is.

Anyway, the script's a total mess and for long periods, is actually very boring. Brody turns up as some power-craved maniac Emporor who didn't need to do anything bad since he was always going to be the Emporor anyway, and then we have a battle and, thankfully, the film ends.

Only, it doesn't. Instead, it goes back to the historian couple who enjoy the romantic scenery of the few sand-blasted columns remaining upright before they illogically announce that they'll never share their discovery, even though it's the whole point of their very existence!

Sigh. This film is just bad, illogical and painful and unless you're a die-hard Jackie Chan fan, I implore you to avoid it. For those of you who are Jackie Chan fans, just know that this is one of - if not THE worst film he's ever made and ask yourself: "Do you really want to taint your opinion of the great man by sitting through this?"