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I can't believe I watched this!
21 August 2005
I'm ashamed. I was young and foolish to be pulled in by this show. Looking back on it now I realise what a load of rubbish it is! The acting is so lame and cheesy and OH MY GOD!!! And did you ever notice that they did the exact same thing in very episode, but with a few substitutions made?

Typical Script -

Scene 1: Power Rangers doing something wholesome and good like homework or building a youth centre.

Scene 2: The bad guy is plotting to destroy the city and wondering how to do it.

BAD GUY WITH CHEESY NAME I know I'll create a monster, but while I'm busy doing that I'll send the Putty Patrol to deal with the Power Rangers.

Scene 3: The wholesomeness is interrupted by the Putty Patrol. The Power Rangers kick bottom then decide to go see Zordon (who happens to be this big head in a jar) because something's not quite right here.

Scene 4: Zordon says stuff, whilst Alpha makes stupid noises.

Scene 5: Monster attacks city.

Scene 6: Morphing time! Takes up about 10 minutes of screen time ...

BLACK RANGER "I'm the hip-hop, all dancing, unlucky-in-love, token black guy of the group ... MASTADON!" (Hey isn't that the name of a heavy metal band?)

PINK RANGER "I'm the girlie, cute one who not-so-secretly fancies the green/white guy. He looks hot in all that Lycra! I get to do all the screaming and I always get captured by the bad guy. Why the heck am I Power Ranger in the first place? ... PTERODAYTL!"

BLUE RANGER "I'm a geek. I talk like a computer ... TRICERTOPS!"

YELLOW RANGER "I'm the token Asian ranger. My only other function is to provide a translator for the geeky one and a shopping buddy for the pink ranger. I hate my life ... SABRE-TOOTHED TIGER!"

RED RANGER "I'm the leader of the Power Rangers. I used to be cool until this green/white ranger came along. Grrr ... TYRANNOSAURUS!"

GREEN/WHITE RANGER "I'm the super powerful Power Ranger who makes the other characters look rubbish. I'm not the leader of the Power Rangers, but I should be because the kids love me ... DRAGONZORD/WHITE TIGER"

Scene 7: Power Rangers fight monster and beat it back for a few seconds using their weapons and some well choreographed arm movements.

Scene 8: The monster grows big with help of bad guy. It's magic!

Scene 9: Get the Zords out! Connect them all together to form a Megazord. (Does anyone else think that they stole that bit from Transformers?) This takes another 10 minutes of screen time.

Scene 10: A little sword fight with the monster. The poor monster has no chance! The monster is defeated, and the bad guy is rather angry because they've lost ... again.

Scene 11: Everything is back to normal and everyone learns a valuable lesson.

*End credits and cheesy theme music*

For a show that lasts 25 minutes, they've done well to cram all the plot into 5 minutes in 30 second bursts throughout the show. To think that something so cheesy and lame as this caused the downfall of Biker Mice From Mars - it's depressing!
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