Tomb Invader

The Asylum should be paying me for wasting my time watching this joke of a movie...

The heading for this review is an actual line from the movie, it's how a reporter introduces themselves before asking someone for an interview, "I'm a writer from the paper", brilliant, just brilliant.

This movie is from The Asylum and if you haven't heard of The Asylum they make knockoffs of big budget movies using as little money as possible, when Transformers came out they released Transmorphers, when Pacific Rim was released they released Atlantic Rim, and now with the release of Tomb Raider we have Tomb Invader.

All the usual suspects that you'd expect from an Asylum production are present in this movie, a cast of nobodies who can't act, cgi that would have looked bad in the 90's, terrible directing and a lousy script, it's just your typical terribly bad Asylum film.

Anyone who watches an Asylum film expecting anything more than absolute schlock (the un-funny kind) really has been hiding under a rock for the past 20 years. Tomb Invader doesn't disappoint when it comes to low-budget, poorly-scripted, minimally-produced Asylum footage.

It's surprisingly not the worst of their films. It's almost halfway nearly decent. The script is terrible, but the acting isn't bad (in fact Samantha Bowling does an unexpectedly good job of it). The CGI is awful and the running around endless caverns is ridiculously time-wasting. The jokes fall as flat as a body that's been stone-rolled, and the ending is as un-brilliant as ever. But it's not actually "Asylum" bad... which is unexpectedly not absolutely terrible. It is a waste of time and has no redeeming factors, but it's not dead skunk. Better than most Asylum films, but It's still a "watch when you've got absolutely nothing better to do" brain-veg film.

Not all the acting was poor and for the money they did a nice job with what they had to work with and to be honest it actually beats a lot of the big mega budget movies into a cocked hat like the awful Pacific Rim or the new Keanu Movie Siberia.

So many critics who probably never watched it but saw the Asylum name or watched 5mins and judged.

Its a TV style movie for a wet Sunday afternoon and you will not be disappointed - Asylum movies are all about a little bit of fun and poking the eye of the big blockbusters with their mega money movies and they poked well with this one.

It will make you smile, maybe laugh a little and in this day and age of depressing movie fair that cant be a bad thing!

Its not Lara Croft more Lara Soft but in this case it is what it says on the tin!

Oh wow! I demand legal consequences for everybody who was involved in the production of this. They should be put on a blacklist. A lifelong ban from anything remotely resembling a film production. Not even a 10 second instagram clip.