Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has been (deservedly)called one of the weirdest movies ever made!An early effort of Joseph E.Levine this cheaply and quickly produced movie has survived nearly 40 years despite the continuous barrage of scathing reviews and critical jeers!Still it has somehow struck a cord in the sentimental hearts of moviegoers of all ages!No matter how bad it really is "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is a cute little holiday romp that will made you both laugh and smile! The plot of course is simple:Mars is desperately in need of something to make it's children laugh and play!Of course they watch "earth shows" on their (intragalactic?) TVs and dream of having toys and holidays to look forward to!The head Martian decides to invade earth,kidnap Santa,and start a Christmas (Santa,toys & all) on Mars! On the way to find the "real" Santa these Martians meet little Billy and Betty-and force them to join Santa on his new journey as Mar's Santa!The bad Martians want no part of Santa and toys and try to get rid of him (along with the little earthlings Billy and Betty) But,no avail,Santa and the "Christmas Spirit" wins out in the end and even elects the lovable,dimwitted Martian Dropo as the new Santa for the children of Mars! I guess what makes this silly film so endearing is the sincere portrayals of it's characters!Despite the lack of good scripting and scenery these actors take their roles quite seriously and play their roles quite realistically!And the Santa Claus character...well I haven't seen such a convincing portrayal since 1947s "Miracle on 34th Street" All in all it's a cute movie with some funny characters and a nice happy ending! Enjoy it with the kids and have some fun!!

This is one of those really dorky movies - extremely geeky! Yet it's fun, cute and a bit sweet... a little bit on the freakishly cool side too. It's one of the oddest movies ever made. It's very much kid friendly so if you have youngsters and are looking for a different kind of holiday film then you might want to try this movie. It's not great at all but it is one of those "so bad it's good" type of holiday family films.

I acquired a copy of this movie through the Sci-Fi Classics 50-Films Pack put out by Mill Creek. I'm very glad they added this one - it's a refreshing change. I've just finished re-watching this film and I'm reviewing it just about 2 1/2 weeks before Christmas. It was great timing for me to get this film pack and I had no idea this movie was in the batch of films until I received it.

4/10.

This has been ridiculed on "The Canned Film Festival", "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and "Cinematic Titanic": the only three to be mocked on all three bad-film programmes. Everything about it is so tacky that you can't help but laugh: a Santa Claus with a pipe who says "No Sirreee", a melodramatic Martian ruler, a polar bear that would be unconvincing in a pantomine. Still, the fact it makes you laugh means that it's not that bad. It wouldn't been on all three of those programmes if there were not a lot of fun to be had from laughing at it. I'd rather own something like this than, say, Richard Harris's first film "This Sporting Life", which is so boring that there is no way of getting any enjoyment from watching it. This is a bad film with a bad plot and it does get boring in parts, but it'll cheer you up on a bad day.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a low budget kid's movie from the early 60's. It has a reputation as one of the worst movies ever made. But, similar to most such famously trashed films, it actually turns out to be nowhere near the worst of the worst. More accurately, this could be described as an enjoyable slice of cheese. Sure, its rubbish on several levels but it also happens to be memorable on several other levels.

The story, such as it is, has the Martians kidnapping Santa Claus and, in the process, abducting two Earth children as well. You see, the Martians want to enjoy Christmas as well. With a plot-line as moronic as that, there's really no point in splitting hairs over details and instead just sit back and watch what unfolds. The sets, costumes and make-up are all bargain-basement but they all work well enough within the confines of the plastic coated world that they exist in. Some of the highlights of the film as a whole include an angry Martian and friendly but stupid Martian, an impressively unconvincing and fake polar bear, a comedy punch up and last, yet surely best of all, a truly infectious theme song about Santy Claus. In the final analysis, there's enough strangeness here to qualify this as a bona fide cult item. It's poor, yet simultaneously quite good. Come on now; let's hear it for Santy Claus!

(r#30)

Basically everything is wrong about this film, and that's what makes it so great. It's hysterical, but even as you're laughing yourself breathless you can't help but feel bad inside that you're actually chewing down this rotten junk food. Because that's what Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is: a case of food poisoning. There are layers and layers of awfulness in this movie, and it really is an unforgettable experience. The actors are all stoned out of their minds and extremely ugly. The title pretty much explains the plot, although there's not really a lot of "conquering". Maybe a better title would have been "Santa Claus Laughs at Inappropriate Times while Hanging Out with Bad Actors in Silly Outfits"? Just saying. I know it isn't as catchy, but at least it's not deceiving.

It would be impossible to sum up all the stuff that sucks about this film, so I'll break it down into what I remember most strongly: a man in an ingeniously fake-looking polar bear costume (funnier than the "bear" from Hercules in New York); an extra with the most unnatural laugh you're ever likely to hear; an ex-dope addict martian with tics; kid actors who make sure every syllable of their lines are slowly and caaarreee-fulll-yyy prrooo-noun-ceeed; a newspaper headline stating that Santa's been "kidnaped", and a giant robot. Yes, you read that right. A giant robot.

The worst acting job in here must be when Mother Claus and her elves have been "frozen" by the "Martians'" weapons. Could they be *more* trembling? I know this was the sixties and everyone was doped up, but still.

This wins the Dung Beetle Award of the year. Destined to become a Christmas classic for me!