Hot Rods to Hell

Dana Andrews and Jeanne Crain, who had been in "State Fair" and "Madison Avenue" together, reunite for this story about a family being terrorized by young punks who have nothing better to do but race down the desolate highway somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Arizona, I think, and run people off the road.

To be more specific, the father can't defend himself or his family due to his bad back and recovering from a previous car accident, where it was all just awful, "the rain, the bright headlights, the Jingle bells (on the radio), everything." In fact, what sounds like an awful film that should be forgotten makes for some good campy fun, due mainly to some hilarious dialogue spoken mainly by Dana, like: "I had to do something. I couldn't just sit here like a stick." It's funnier with Dana saying it. In fact his whole on-edge performance is practically the whole show.

I'm sorry to read here that Mr. Andrews was an alcoholic, but I've told family members about this film and said I've never seen anyone who could act so unhinged as Dana in this film, and also in "Zero Hour!". Another ingredient, alluded to in message boards, is Dana's speech and/or way of speaking words like "animals" and "police." So, it may be because of Dana's condition, or is it just his little acting tricks, that make for entertainment in this 60s camp classic. At least that's what it's called on a camp classic DVD set, which includes "Zero Hour."

Lastly, I will add that the actress who plays the daughter is quite good and we see her as more three-dimensional than any other character in the movie, And for that matter, the dialogue between the siblings and the way they treat each other make us feel they really are brother and sister.

So, if you want a hoot from the 1960s, get out the popcorn and pull into your own "drive-in" theater for some real hot rods and Dana unnerved.

After phoning to tell his family he will be home for Christmas, an jolly well inebriated Dana Andrews (as Tom Phillips) crashes his car. He yells, "That stupid drunken fool!" and survives with a bad back. Shapely raven-haired wife Jeanne Crain (as Peg) arranges for Mr. Andrews to enjoy rest and relaxation as the owner of a sleepy desert motel in California. Bored, horny daughter Laurie Mock (as Tina) and preteen son Tim Stafford (Jamie) are along for the ride. Driving to their new home, the family is terrorized by "Hot Rods to Hell"! dragsters full of sex-crazed, thrill-seeking teenagers. Unfasten your seat belts!

Swinging sixties punks Paul Bertoya (as Duke), Mimsy Farmer (as Gloria), and Gene Kirkwood (as Ernie) are awfully nice!

And, Andrews' daughter is ready for action! She may not know it, but is told, "Some girls like to be sneaked up on." Later, Ms. Crain adds, "There isn't a woman alive who doesn't want a man!" Yeah, right... Now, if Andrews and family survive the trip, they are in for a horrific surprise. The motel they bought turns out to be a boozy, smoke-filled dive populated with the same young hoodlums they met on the road. There, house band leader Mickey Rooney Jr. and his combo help keep tight, sweaty bodies in motion. The departing owner can barely keep it from getting raided before Andrews takes over... Lurid fun!

****** Hot Rods to Hell (1/27/67) John Brahm ~ Dana Andrews, Jeanne Crain, Mimsy Farmer, Mickey Rooney Jr.

This movie continues to amuse me although I've seen it countless times. The straitlaced family plunged into a world of "hot rodding" teenagers "looking for kicks"...it can't get much better than this. Particularly fun are the overly dramatic performances of Dana Andrews (Tom) and Jeannie Crain (Peg) as the family sedan is chased by a carload of teenagers (one girl managing to sit up on the back and hang on the whole while). After the family arrives at the hotel that the father has just bought, they are horrified to realize that it's a roadhouse that caters to these same bored teenagers and others like them. Much to her parents' dismay, the daughter becomes infatuated with Duke, one of the hot rodders who earlier that day ran them off the road. The scenes inside the roadhouse are backgrounded with music by "Mickey Rooney Jr. and His Combo" which adds to the cheese factor. Still, you can't help loving it.

''Hot Rods To Hell is really a good look at late sixties culture. The acting by onetime stars Dana Andrews and Jeanne Crain, is fine. They are well supported by Mimsy Farmer and Laurie Mock, both of whom would soon be seen in ''Riot On Sunset Strip'' that same year. The Sam Katzman production may be low budget, but it still looks decent. the Fred Karger score is suitably dramatic. The songs are...(oh well, you can't have everything) undoubtedly an oldster's idea of ''rock and roll'' though the authors also wrote material for Elvis! It moves pretty fast, both in the theatrical version which ran 90 minutes, and the 100 minute version first seen on ABC.TCM has the latter print, and shows it occasionally from time to time. Strangely enough, TNT used to run the theatrical one. One critic, in his review stated ''Jeanne Crain is still lovely to look at.'' She was, indeed. An enjoyable film.

Well, I didn't find this is a "so-bad-it's great-film" to the degree I was hoping, but it still was fast-moving enough to keep my interest and laugh out a few times.

Not one of the characters in here was anyone you could root for, mainly because they were just too stupid or a bit annoying.

The cast is headed by two fairly-famous actors from the 1940s: Dana Andrews ("Laura,") and Jeanne Crain ("State Fair"). Halfway through the movie, we are "treated" to a couple of songs by Mickey Rooney and His Combo, who obviously got the gig because of his famous dad.

Andrews was nearing 60 when he made the film. He had just finished serving three years as President of the Screen Actors Guild. He has a long resume, which includes film and television work, but not many memorable films outside of a few in his early days.

Both he and Crain were in 1945's "State Fair," a film that put her "on the map," so to speak. In the same year, she had a good role in "Leave Her To Heaven," but after those two movies here notable films were very few. However, she retained her gorgeous looks and a lady over 40, as she was in this movie, she still looked darned good. The problem was, she wasn't much of an actress. Andrews does a far better job in here than Crain, who overacts or - in her defense - was directed to act hysterically and stupidly in parts of the story. Whatever, it was still interesting to see two "name" actors in this "B" movie.

It also was a bit odd seeing "punks" who looked very clean-cut. Hey, I know by 1967, longer hair coming into style, thanks to the "British Invasion" (Beatles, Rolling Stones, etc.) but these guys all looked straight out of the '50s, short hair, straight clothes, etc.

In fact, all the major characters in this movie, looked extremely straight. The Philips family, the ones tormented by a couple of hot-rodders, was so straight they made "Ward and June Cleaver" look like pot-smoking hippies. Their daughter "Tina" (Laurie Mock) was hot; very sultry, but she wound up being all talk/no action and the little brother was an annoying "Larry Mondello" type (see "Leave It To Beaver").

They may not have been Bette Davis-like in acting talents but the three women in here: Crain, Mock and Mismey Farmer (one of the punks fickle girlfriends) - certainly had the looks and played people who got your attention....as did the film in general. Yes, the dialog is stupid, the characters even dumber and the storyline worse than the other two but, all in all, it's watchable. You don't get bored with it. That's about as kind as I can be about it.