My Boys Are Good Boys

I would have rated this film with 1 star, but it got an additional 1 for Lloyd Nolan's brave performance as a security officer and an extra 1/2 for Ida Lupino as a shrewish wife, and an extra 1/2 for Ralph Meeker's role as a truculent drunk bad dad.

But the MUSIC! Oh my God. The music. The horrible synthesizer music bubbling away like little rodential heartbeats as we are supposed to feel fear, tension, drama, interest, or some other emotion which we cannot feel because the music is popping like popcorn farts! Oh, Lord have mercy. If you are the kind of person who can't take bad music, please, be cautious -- the sound track may damage your internal organs.

Also this film is a wasteland of bad late 1970s architecture, as it was filmed right before Post-Modern architecture saved us all from architectural cultural suicide. Just keep reciting your mantra, "Later on there would be good architecture. This was not the end of the world." Oh, and there's this insane fainting-gas stuff. The teens buy it at the local convenience store, no doubt. Another reviewer suggested the idea came from "Batman." I concur.

And i will offer a sparkly reward to anyone who can tell me the name of the book that Ida Lupino is reading on her bed when Ralph Meeker comes home after a long day in the armoured car industry. My TV was too small to zero in on it, but i have the feeling that if i could have read that title, i would have been rewarded by some sort of fabulous in-joke. Or maybe not.

Lloyd Nolan is okay. Ida Lupino is okay. Ralph Meeker is okay. The rest of this movie is insanely useless except to people who want to watch cars crash into one another over and over and over and over again.

This movie stinks harder than all the dumplings left over by a thousand dogs, a thousand cats, a thousand bulls and maybe one or two elephants. I see nothing fantastic about this movie other than a bunch of ugly kids trying to pull off an Ocean's Eleven with a bunch of even uglier older men and women. Sean, or whatever the heck his name is, is by far the worst interpretation of a rebellious kid - you'll find better acting from the kid from 'Austin Powers' one, two, and three. This was obviously a film that was supposed to be the next greatest thing since Muhammed Ali took to the ring and kicked everyone's butt, but I'm gonna be perfectly frank, Frank... it's not. It doesn't even rank as high as me walking on top of a Dance Dance Revolution machine trying to impress all of the employees at Hooters, man. It's that bad. If you've got your copy, I suggest you take it and dump it in the ground and bury it for all it's worth. It'll eat your eyes and burn your tongue straight off, finding all of your next of kin and ripping them apart without your knowledge.

The music sounds more like a bunch of farts going off at once; 'musical farts', as I like to call it. Perhaps that is the only redeeming quality I have to give about this movie - and it shows that you too can be an amazing cult following by doing just that. Everyone should remember that the next time they get their couple of dollars and a video camera, and decide to make this movie. Will there be a sequel to this? Let's hope so, boy howdy! Maybe there, the musical farts return, with the opening theme song redux and maybe a Pachelbel's Canon solo. I bet that grossly obese kid will have a field day with it.

What's up with that fat tub of lard though, anyway? Did he even get a second's worth of screen time for his effort? I don't know what's scary, the weird-looking neegroe humping the doctor and the Charlie's Angels guy during the beginning or the two fat chest boobs wobbling each time the fat guy hustled from scene to scene. I bet he's dead now. He probably deserved it.

Like I said, this movie sucks. You'll have a field day with 'Bawop, Bawop, Bawoowowowowowooooop' tune when one of the hillbillies is drinking his brandy in the car while snooping on a potential sex victim, but that's as far as it goes. Other than that, this movie sucks. You're stupid if you rated it any higher.

Reform school resident Sean Thomas Roche (as Tommy Morton) receives a visit from father Ralph Meeker (as Bert Morton), who informs him schoolteacher mother Ida Lupino (as Bess Morton) is retiring. Clearly, Mr. Meeker and Mr. Roche have some "generation gap" difficulties; but, they pale in comparison with the love lost between the two men and Ms. Lupino. Lupino could care less about her delinquent son; instead, she enjoys tutoring pretty young Kerry Lynn (as Priscilla). Little do the adults know, but the "kids" are plotting…

This sometimes confusing, and seldom plausible, "misunderstood kids drama" has a few interesting attributes. Old pro Lloyd Nolan tries to sort out the plot; he contributes greatly to an interesting cast. Prrforming admirably, Mr. Nolan makes everyone sharing his screen time look better. David Doyle, waiting for "Charlie's Angels" to resume, has quite a "My Boys Are Good Boys" backstory to tell. Notably, Lupino's shrewish characterization was her last film appearance, before retiring.

Ida Lupino and Ralph Meeker together again after being terrorized by giant rats in food of the gods.anyway Ralph meeker plays an armored car driver,his son is in a reformatory being watched over by a guard with a big heart(David Doyle)yeah bosley on TVs Charlie's angels.well the plot starts to unfold when three of the kids plan to rob the armored car led by Ralph Meekers son(Sean Thomas Roche)and a girl(Kerry Lynn)who is being tutored by Ralph meekers characters wife.there's some good car chases and crashes,plot twists and some pg rated mayhem,ill have to say its not a bad little b movie,also in the movie is the great Lloyd Nolan who i remember from the Julia TV show with Dianne Carroll. i saw this one on the 50 action classics DVD set from mill creek,formally tree line films.i guess Ralph Meeker and Ida Lupino needed a break from the food of the gods(77)i especially like David Doyle's performance as the guard.6 out of 10

Hi, Everyone, Your boys might be good boys, but your movie's a bad movie. How did they fail with this one? The cast is made up of great veteran actors who can easily turn in a great performance. The title song is sung by Dorsey Burnette. Even Dorsey cannot make this title song sound good.

The story line is adequate. A few kids want to rob an armored car. What kid doesn't want to rob an armored car? No real violence to speak of here. Stupidity galore but little violence.

This movie unfolds more unevenly than a 29 cent taco. Ida Lupino is the loving wife who is not in love. A part she has played to perfection many times before. David Doyle (Am I the only one who confuses him with Tom Bosley?) overacts. Lloyd Nolan is excellent in his role but it does not save the movie. Ralph Meeker looks like he is being handed his pages of script just before each scene begins.

This cast could have spent the same amount of hours with a good director and a good script and they could have made a real winner. The last line in the movie is so ridiculous it almost made my smoke detector go off.

It is fun to watch this to check gas prices way back when.

Ida Lupino was better in High Sierra. Lloyd Nolan was better in Peyton Place. Ralph Meeker was better in The Dirty Dozen.

If you like Dorsey Burnette's voice, listen to Hey Little One or Tall Oak Tree.

Other than that it was OK.

Tom Willett