- Lazar: Mr. Bond, bullets do not kill. It is the finger that pulls the trigger.
- James Bond: Exactly. I am now aiming precisely at your groin. So speak now or forever hold your piece.
- James Bond: I mean, sir, who would pay a million dollars to have me killed?
- M: Jealous husbands! Outraged chefs! Humiliated tailors! The list is endless!
- James Bond: When I kill, its on the specific orders of my government. And those I kill are themselves killers.
- Francisco Scaramanga: Now, come, come, Mr. Bond. You disappoint me. You get as much fulfillment out of killing as I do, so why don't you admit it?
- James Bond: I admit killing you would be a pleasure.
- Francisco Scaramanga: Then you should have done that when you first saw me. But then, of course, the English don't consider it sporting to kill in cold blood, do they?
- James Bond: Don't count on that.
- Francisco Scaramanga: When I was a boy I was brought up in a circus. My only real friend was a huge, magnificent African bull elephant. One day, his handler mistreated him and he went berserk. Bleeding, dying, he came and found me, stood on one leg, his best trick, picked me up and put me on his back. The drunken handler came along and emptied his gun into his eye... I emptied my stage pistol into his!
- James Bond: An eye for an eye.
- Francisco Scaramanga: You see, Mr. Bond, I always thought I loved animals. Then I discovered that I enjoyed killing people even more.
- Francisco Scaramanga: A duel between titans. My golden gun against your Walther PPK. Each of us with a 50-50 chance.
- James Bond: Six bullets to your one?
- Francisco Scaramanga: I only need one.
- Andrea Anders: [Bond is interrogating her for Scaramanga's whereabouts] I know he has a date at the Bottom's Up club tonight!
- James Bond: How will I recognize him?
- Andrea Anders: Tall, slim and dark.
- James Bond: So is my aunt. Anything distinctive about him?
- Andrea Anders: Yes, but how can I...
- [sigh]
- Andrea Anders: He's not like other people. He has three...
- [points to her chest]
- James Bond: Oh. Fascinating anatomical tidbit, but probably the most useless piece of information I ever heard. Unless of course the Bottom's Up is a strip club and Scaramanga is performing there.
- James Bond: You live well, Scaramanga.
- Francisco Scaramanga: At a million dollars a contract I can afford to, Mr Bond. You work for peanuts, a hearty well done from her Majesty the Queen and a pittance of a pension. Apart from that we are the same. To us, Mr Bond, we are the best.
- James Bond: There's a useful four letter word, and you're full of it.
- James Bond: Pistols at dawn; it's a little old-fashioned, isn't it?
- Francisco Scaramanga: That it is. But it remains the only true test for gentlemen.
- James Bond: On that score, I doubt you qualify. However, I accept.
- [last lines]
- James Bond: [Getting into bed] Now, where were we?
- [Embrace and Kiss]
- Goodnight: Oh, James! Mmmm!
- [Bond sees a phone rising up on the nightstand]
- Goodnight: What's the matter?
- James Bond: Something came up.
- [Bond picks up phone]
- James Bond: Hello?
- M: [Speaking over the phone] Ah, there you are, Bond. Well done, congratulations.
- James Bond: Thank you, sir.
- M: Is Miss Goodnight with you? I'd like a word with her.
- James Bond: Hold on, sir.
- [Bond sets phone down and goes back to kissing Goodnight]
- M: Bond? Bond, are you there? Goodnight?
- James Bond: [Bond picks up the phone] She's just coming, sir.
- [Bond sets phone back down]
- M: Goodnight?
- Goodnight: [In the background] Mmmm.
- M: Goodnight. Goodnight!
- James Bond: [Bond picks up the phone again] Good night, sir.
- [Hangs up the phone]
- Sheriff J.W. Pepper: What's goin' on with you? What the hell you doin' now, boy? The bridge is that way!
- [Sheriff Pepper sees Bond is about to drive over a wrecked bridge]
- Sheriff J.W. Pepper: You're not gonna...
- James Bond: [mimicking Pepper's Southern accent] I sure am, boy! Ever hear of Evel Knievel?
- Nick-nack: [after Bond sticks him into a suitcase] I'll kill you if you don't let me out of there! Agh! Let me out! You big bully!
- James Bond: Shut up!
- Francisco Scaramanga: [at lunch] Let us see what Nick Nack has for us. Ahh, mushrooms!
- Goodnight: [sharply, to Bond] The fried mushroom looks terribly interesting.
- James Bond: Yes, I had noticed that. I'll get around to it later.
- Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [after being splashed by speed boats chasing Bond] God damn little brown water hog!
- Maybelle Pepper: Oh, what's the matter, J.W.? Hon?
- Sheriff J.W. Pepper: You just try that in my bayou, boy! I'd haul your ass!
- Maybelle Pepper: Oh look, J.W.! I just got to have me one of those cute little elephants.
- Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [spits] Elephants! We're Democrats, Maybelle.
- Waiter: [Bond's waiter shows him the wine label] With the compliments...
- James Bond: PHUYUCK?
- Waiter: '74, sir.
- James Bond: [Bond sips some wine] I approve.
- Goodnight: [looking at him incredulously] You do?
- James Bond: Oh, not the wine, your frock. Tight in all the right places, not too many buttons.
- Goodnight: Standard uniform for Southeast Asia. The buttons are down the back.
- James Bond: Designed by Q no doubt. One of them is a suicide pill I suppose?
- Goodnight: No, but the bottom one has a homer in it.
- James Bond: How original.
- [after Scaramanga kills a hired gun brought in by Nick Nack]
- Nick-nack: This one was the best, n'est-ce pas?
- Scaramanga: Not bad, not bad at all. But you're going to have to do better if you want to come into my money.
- Nick-nack: I'll get you yet. And I'll enjoy everything you leave me.
- Scaramanga: You'll be the death of me yet, Nick Nack.
- James Bond: Good evening. My name is Bond, James Bond. Your dancing is superb - and so are you.
- Saida: Merci. And you are very handsome.
- Andrea Anders: He's a monster. I hate him.
- James Bond: Then leave him.
- Andrea Anders: You don't walk out on Scaramanga. There's no place he wouldn't find me.
- James Bond: You need a good lawyer.
- Andrea Anders: I need 007.
- Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [to baby elephant] Get your cotton-picking schnoz out of my pants, y'know! Oh! You is ugly!
- [M stares in shock as Bond relays news of his foul-up]
- James Bond: And that is really all there is to report, sir.
- M: So if I heard correctly, Scaramanga got away - in a car that sprouted wings!
- Q: Oh, that's perfectly feasible, sir. As a matter of fact, we're working on one now.
- M: Oh, Q, shut up! Miss Goodnight was in the boot.
- James Bond: Yes, sir. We found the carplane abandonned about two hundred miles west of Bangkok.
- M: And the Solex?
- Lieutenant Hip: In Goodnight's handbag, sir.
- M: [shakes head] Where's Miss Goodnight now?
- James Bond: Well, we don't know sir. Communications aren't picking up the signal from the homer she was supplied by Q.
- Q: [indignantly] Rubbish! They're simply not stepping up the reception sufficiently to enable...
- M: [cuts him off] Oh, shut up! Of all the fouled-up, half-witted operations...
- James Bond: Moneypenny - Fairbanks.
- Moneypenny: Alaska?
- James Bond: No, Bill Fairbanks, 002.
- Moneypenny: [Sadly] Oh, poor Bill. I miss him.
- James Bond: Yeah, well the man with the golden gun didn't.
- Moneypenny: Officially that was never confirmed.
- James Bond: Where was 002 when it happened?
- Moneypenny: Beirut. '69. In a cabaret with a lady called Saida
- Francisco Scaramanga: [after Bond has broken out of Hai Fat's karate school] ... What do they teach at that academy? Ballet dancing?
- Hai Fat: I find nothing amusing in Mr. Bond's escape. May I remind you that you work for me. I took you on to be an occasional consultant, nothing more. I did not pay you to interfere in my affairs. Is that understood? Now, return to the plant and don't leave there without my permission.
- [he doesn't see Scaramanga assembling the Golden Gun]
- Hai Fat: ...I now regret having even considered employing your services, but that is beside the point. Bond doesn't know you; he's never seen you. But he knows me. That's the problem.
- Francisco Scaramanga: That's no problem.
- [He shoots Fat dead, then disassembles the Golden Gun as one of Fat's aides comes to investigate]
- Francisco Scaramanga: ...Mr. Fat has just resigned. I am the new Chairman of the Board.
- [goes outside]
- Francisco Scaramanga: ...Fat always did like that mausoleum. Put him in it.
- Francisco Scaramanga: This is the part I really like.
- [Scaramanga destroys Bond's sea plane with a solar-powered weapon]
- Francisco Scaramanga: Now that's what I call solar power.
- James Bond: That's what I call trouble.
- [on the solar gun he is about to destroy Bond's seaplane with]
- Francisco Scaramanga: [proudly] This is a bonus. Goes with the solex, no extra charge!
- [Goodnight, a prisoner on Scaramanga's island, appears in a bikini]
- Francisco Scaramanga: Ah, here's Miss Goodnight now.
- Goodnight: James!
- James Bond: Aren't we a little overdressed, Goodnight?
- Rodney: [he's just shot a wax replica of Al Capone] Hey, Al. Al, wherever you are, don't hold it against me!
- Andrea Anders: [kissing Bond] I've dreamed about you setting me free...
- James Bond: I've, uh, been dreaming about a Solex agitator. Ever heard of one?
- James Bond: Moneypenny, you are better than a computer.
- Moneypenny: In all sorts of ways! But, you never take advantage of them.
- Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [to a group of angry Thai policemen who place him under arrest; none of whom understand his English] You can't do this to me! And I want my wallet back. Take these god damn bracelets off! I'm gonna sue you for false arrest. Police brutality! I've got connections, you brown pony heads! I'm gonna get the FBI on you! And the CIA! God Damn it! I'm gonna get Henry Kissenger! Now, look at me when I'm talkin' to you, boy!
- James Bond: [examining one of Scaramanga's golden bullets] Charming trinket. Even has my number on it.
- M: Precisely.
- James Bond: Well, obviously it's useless as a bullet. I mean, Sir, who would pay a million dollars to have me killed?
- M: Jealous husbands, outraged chefs, humiliated tailors. The list is endless!
- M: I'm relieving you of your present assignment, 007.
- James Bond: Sir, the energy crisis is still with us. I respectfully submit that finding Gibson and his solar cell data is even more important than ever.
- M: It is in deed. And I can't jeopardize it... by having Scaramanga pop up and put a bullet in you.
- Francisco Scaramanga: My name is Scaramanga. Francisco Scaramanga. I feel I know you, although I never thought we would ever really meet. But it has been a pleasure for me to finally meet you Mr. Bond, thanks to Miss Anders here.
- James Bond: You have a strange way of showing your gratitude.
- Francisco Scaramanga: A mistress cannot serve two masters. She was a difficult shot, but most gratifying.
- James Bond: We all get our jollies one way or another.
- Francisco Scaramanga: Mine has always been guns, Mr. Bond.
- [James is sitting in the car]
- James Bond: Goodnight! Where are the car keys?
- Goodnight: [from inside Scaramanga's trunk] Oh, I've got the keys. And I've got the Solex too!
- James Bond: Did you see who shot him?
- Saida: No, I was in his arms. My eyes were closed.
- James Bond: Well, at least he died happy.
- Colthorpe: [trying to trace origins of a golden bullet] Lazar?
- Q: Lazar? Hmm, imaginative, highly specialised... Yes! I concur.
- James Bond: Well, what the hell is Lazar?
- Colthorpe: Not "what", "who". Portuguese. Lives in Macau.
- Q: Chap who made the bullet, 007!
- James Bond: Scaramanga does not have any contract out on me. He couldn't have missed me tonight. Instead, he hit some chap coming out of the club. I got quite a shock when I saw who it was.
- M: I should think you did.
- James Bond: Our missing solar-energy expert, Gibson.
- M: Yes, Gibson! He was prepared to come back, under special terms. That's why I'm out here with Professor Frazier. I almost wish that Scaramanga had a contract out on you.
- Francisco Scaramanga: How do you like my island, Mr Bond?
- James Bond: A bit off the beaten track, isn't it?
- Francisco Scaramanga: You see, Mr Bond, like every great artist, I want to create an indisputable masterpiece, once in my lifetime: the death of 007. Mano a mano. Face to face. Will be mine.
- James Bond: You mean - stuffed and displayed at your rocky mantelpiece?
- Francisco Scaramanga: It's an amusing idea, but I was thinking in terms of history.
- [Bond returns having dealt with the murderous Nick Nack]
- Goodnight: Oh, James. You didn't!
- James Bond: Yes, I damn well did!
- [on the dead Andrea Anders]
- Francisco Scaramanga: Forget the girl, she's replaceable. Eventually, I shall find what she stole from me. Personally, I've got nothing against you, Mr. Bond, and to keep it that way... let us hope our paths never cross again. Please don't try to follow me.
- James Bond: Your peanut-toting friend back there wouldn't like it?
- Francisco Scaramanga: No, he wouldn't.
- James Bond: Good morning. How's the water?
- Chew Mee: Why don't you come in and find out?
- James Bond: Sounds very tempting, Miss...?
- Chew Mee: Chew Mee.
- James Bond: Really? Well, there's only one small problem. I have no swimming trunks.
- Chew Mee: Neither have I.
- [Seeing Andrea Anders dead, Bond begins looking through her purse for the Solex device]
- James Bond: Darling, it must be in your handbag. I saw the man at the shop give it to you.
- [Scaramanga appears and sits beside Bond who takes little notice]
- James Bond: [to Scaramanga] Sorry for what it must look like. Without the ticket, we can't get a recpit for customs.
- Francisco Scaramanga: You woun't find it in there, Mr. Bond. I looked before you came.
- [alarmed, Bond is going to draw his gun against Scaramanga]
- Francisco Scaramanga: I wouldn't do that either. Look behind you.
- [Bond turns around, but sees no one]
- Francisco Scaramanga: Lower.
- [Bond looks down and realizes Nick Nack is behind him with a small pistol and a bag of peanuts in his hands]
- James Bond: A gun in a bag of peanuts, how original. What will they think of next?
- M: What do you know about a man called Scaramanga, 007?
- James Bond: Scaramanga? Oh, yes! The man with the golden gun. Born in the circus. Father - the Ringmaster, possibly Cuban. Mother - English, a snake charmer. He was a spectacular trick shot artist by the time he was ten and a local Rio gunman at fifteen. The KGB recruited him there and trained him in Europe where he became an - overworked, underpaid assassin. He went independent in the late '50s. Current price: one million dollars a hit. No photograph on file. But, he does have one distinguishing feature, however, a superfluous papilla.
- M: A what?
- James Bond: A mammary gland. A third nipple, sir. He uses a golden bullet, hence man with the golden gun. Present domicile - unknown.
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