Alienator

(36%) One of the kings of intensive B-movie production, Fred Olen Ray attempted to cash-in on both Alien and the Terminator in one single movie, and the end result is this this pretty bad, yet still perfectly watchable sci-fi action/horror. The opening prologue set on a space prison (and clearly filmed in a disused industrial unit on the outskirts of Hollywood) offers maybe the most fun part of the whole movie with the cheap sets and the ridiculous costumes, the female character with two big holes in her top is especially comedic; but then again I doubt is this was ever intended to be taken in the slightest bit seriously. The alienator herself is a daft looking cyborg that appears to be made up of bits and pieces raided from a prop department and then rather cack handedly put together in a few hours. Fans of low-rent 80's cheese should give this a go as it isn't overly dull, or that badly made that it becomes unenjoyable to watch, but everyone else should stick to the films this wants to imitate.

Recipe for one of the worst movies of all time: a she-male villain who looks like it escaped from the WWF, has terrible aim with a gun that has inconsistent effects (the first guy she shoots catches on fire but when she shoots anyone else they just disappear) and takes time out to pet a deer. Then you got the unlikable characters, 30 year old college students, a lame attempt at a surprise ending and lots, lots more. Avoid at all costs.

Ok, I admit I'm something of a nut for bad movies. And this dog certainly falls into that category with a vengance. But those who even *think* this compares to the worst movie of all time - or even comes close - really need to watch more bad movies. The perennial favorite 'worst movie of all time' (Plan 9 from Space) is definately worse than this (though it's not the worst movie).

THis movie is great if you like bad movies, and even better if you like to MST your own. If you expect Gone with the Wind or even such dreck as "Angels in the Outfield", this is not for you.

Kol, space prisoner on space death row, manages to hijack a space shuttle and escape to the woods of America where he, along with some new found friend try to escape from the 'Alienator" a female cyborg killing machine. Made one year after the best movie of Fred Olen Ray's career, "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers", this one can't help but feel like a bit of a letdown. Just as low-budget as that earlier film, but not nearly as fun as I had with it. None of the actors really stood out at me. The film is alright for the undiscriminating viewer during a rainy Saturday afternoon, but that's pretty much all it's good for.

My Grade: D+

Where i saw it: Showtime Thriller

...It just ain't that good. Prolific B movie director Fred Olen Ray has certainly done better. Despite the efforts of a very solid B movie cast, it fails to ever be as much fun as it should be.

Part of the problem is that Ray never is able to get much momentum going. "Alienator" plods too much for this sort of thing, it's full of nondescript characters, it's not much for continuity, its special effects are something less than special, and when all is said and done it ends with more of a whimper than a bang.

Too bad; the premise had some potential. A typically dull Jan-Michael Vincent plays a cranky warden on a prison spaceship who has one of his prisoners, a rebel leader named Kol (Ross Hagen) escape from him. So what he does is send Amazonian 'hunter unit' The Alienator (played by female bodybuilder Teagan Clive) after the fugitive, who's crash landed on Earth and made contact with some hapless Earthlings, including forest ranger Ward Armstrong (John Phillip Law).

Clive is quite a sight, and she does what she has to do well enough, although her character is nowhere near as cool or memorable as Arnold Schwarzeneggers' The Terminator. Her right hand and arm are encased in a laser weapon that weirdly sets its first victim on fire but then just makes the rest of the victims disappear.

The assemblage of talent here is truly impressive: also in the cast are P.J. Soles (wearing an oddly revealing outfit), Dawn Wildsmith, Richard Wiley, Jesse Dabson, and Dyana Ortelli; Wiley plays the most utterly insufferable of the various humans. Fox Harris (to whom the movie is dedicated) and Hoke Howell play a knuckle head pair of hunters, and it's a treat to see such veterans as Robert Clarke, Leo Gordon, and Robert Quarry (although Quarry, sadly, doesn't get to do a whole lot.) Horror fans will be delighted to see Joseph Pilato (a.k.a. Captain Rhodes from Romeros' "Day of the Dead") in a small role as a technician.

The location shooting in Topanga Canyon is fine, but otherwise this movie is underwhelming. Ray just doesn't give it much pizazz. If you're a very undemanding schlock lover, you may get some entertainment out of it, but it will likely bore most other viewers.

Five out of 10.