- Dale Cooper: Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.
- Dale Cooper: Harry, I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.
- James Hurley: When did you start smoking?
- Donna Hayward: I smoke every once and a while. Helps relieve tension.
- James Hurley: When did you get so tense?
- Donna Hayward: When I started smoking.
- Dale Cooper: Ask me why I'm whittling.
- Sheriff Truman: I give up. Why are you whittling?
- Dale Cooper: Because that's what you do in a town where a yellow light still means slow down, not go faster.
- Deputy Tommy 'Hawk' Hill: One woman can make you fly like an eagle, another can give you the strength of a lion, but only one in the Cycle Of Life can fill your heart with wonder and the wisdom that you have known a singular joy.
- Man from Another Place: Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song... and there's always music in the air.
- Dale Cooper: I believe I was visited by a giant last night. Twice.
- FBI Agent Albert Rosenfield: Any relations with the dwarf?
- Leland Palmer: Through the darkness of future past / The magician longs to see / One chants out between two worlds / Fire walk with me. I'll catch you with my death bag. You may think I've gone insane, but I promise I will kill again!
- Dale Cooper: [Lucy pours Cooper a cup of coffee. He takes a sip and promptly spits it out]
- Dale Cooper: Damn fine coffee! And hot!
- Major Briggs: How was school, son?
- Bobby Briggs: Fine. How was work?
- Major Briggs: Work was fine.
- Bobby Briggs: What exactly is it you do?
- Major Briggs: That's classified.
- Jerry Horne: Sheriff, your 24 hours are up. I demand you to arrest my client or release him!
- Sheriff Truman: Ben Horne, you are under arrest for the murder of Laura Palmer.
- Ben Horne: Great move, Jer.
- Bobby Briggs: I got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that your father has bought a condo in Flip City, and the good news is that he is about to win the Civil War.
- DEA Agent Dennis: I understand we're both staying at the Great Northern. How's the food up there?
- Dale Cooper: Dennis, you're in for a big surprise.
- Sheriff Truman: So are they.
- Annie Blackburn: [praying] Our bones are scattered at the grave's mouth / As when one cutteth wood upon the earth / But mine eyes are unto thee, O God The Lord: / In thee is my trust, leave not me / Keep me from the snares they have laid for me / And the gins of the workers of iniquity / Let the wicked fall into their own nets / Whilst that I withal escape.
- Ben Horne: We've lain a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight; all of Twin Peaks' best and brightest.
- Jerry Horne: We're holding it in a phone booth?
- Blackie O'Reilly: Well Fred, what's your line?
- Big Ed Hurley: [undercover] Own a gas station.
- [Cooper nudges Ed in his side]
- Big Ed Hurley: I'm an oral surgeon.
- Blackie O'Reilly: Well, I got a Chevy parked out back with a serious root-canal problem. Want to take a look?
- Catherine Packard Martell: Didn't he want to talk to me?
- Pete Martell: Yeah, but we told him you were on your world tour, he should contact your press agent.
- Agoraphobe: I thought you were pure!