Wizards of the Demon Sword

Thane is on a quest with Melina to save her father from the evil wizard, Lord Khoura in this hilariously awful low budget swords & sandals film. The last really watchable 'good' bad movie by Fred Olen Ray, this film can't even be described. Sure one can tell you the loose plot of the movie, but it can't even wish to convey the lunacy of the hilarious bad stilted dialog, the atrocious but belly laugh warranting 'special effects', or the (lack of) acting that will have you on the floor. Case in point there's one scene that has Thane punching Melina in the face. You're probably sitting here reading that thinking what the hell can be funny about that, but just the way it's directed and shot is extremely funny. This is NOT a film for anyone who wants to see any resemblance of a good movie. But for us select few who are real fans of Ray, this is a treasure.Not as great as Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers but definitely up there with Star Slammer.

My Grade: B

Eye Candy: Heidi Paine and an uncredited extra both get topless

It's a campy film and none of the actors seem to take it seriously.

Neither did the writers, by the look and sound of it.

Everyone seems to have fun while making the film, however.

It has a pair of cool stop-motion monsters.

If you like it cheesy and tongue-in-cheek, with hot ladies and brawny guys you might enjoy this film.

But don't expect an epic masterpiece.

While this movie would work for riffing, it doesn't work in any other way. You know you're in trouble from the get-go when the first action sequence is filmed in a desert landscape filled with ATV tracks. It's supposed to be the Middle Ages, of course. It's hard to tell if the script or the acting is worse, and the endless modern slang is a mistake. Perhaps it's both acting and script at fault, but whatever the explanation, it's all quite cringe-worthy.

Cave Dwellers and Deathstalker are great movies compared to this.. and trust me when I say they are not great.

There are one or two moments in here that don't make you wish you were somewhere else, doing anything else, but I don't recommend watching to find them

I don't know what it is about Fred Olen Ray. I hate his movies, but I always buy them thinking the next one will be a winner. He is notorious for the most annoying giant monster encounters ever. Hmmm, let me see if I can explain this... Man says "hey look at that monster over there!" camera cuts to giant monster then back to man "I wouldn't want to mess with him!". Giant monster in his movies never interact with normal sized men. I hate that! Why even put them in the movie?! If you must see a Fred Olen Ray picture, watch Phantom Empire.

A few years ago, I was shown a high school movie shot with a group of friends, a VHS camcorder, and no money. Same genre. This movie is on par with that. I'm actually impressed that every "actor" in this movie could deliver the ridiculously flourished lines from the script with straight faces. That's not to say that they had any talent either. I was either laughing or banging my head against the wall throughout. I particularly enjoyed watching the villain who reminded me more of a TV evangelist than a wizard. I half expected him to deliver a sermon before unleashing the ultimate evil upon the world. Of course, having past experience with Fred Olen Ray, I knew what to expect. So I can't really say I was disappointed. It's funny to see the exact same "Planet of Dinosaurs" stock footage that he used in a prior movie, "Phantom Empire".

This movie scrapes the bottom of the sword and sorcery barrel, but manages to be hilarious in it's ineptitude. Recommended for MiSTies.