Witchcraft VI

So why 10 out of 10? Mainly to counteract the "Academy". The Academy believes that no film which does not deal directly with some left-wing (gay anything!) societal issue, have a completely depressing ending, or at the very least involve unattractive actors mumbling philosophical nonsense to each other in Swedish or French has any right to be seen. Not so! Klaus Kinski in Herzog's "Aguirre, the Wrath of God" is tedious enough to make me want to peel off my own flesh. Stephanie Swinney in "Witchcraft 6", on the other hand, leads me to believe that some flesh just needs to be appreciated. It should be remembered that in its beginnings cinema never aspired to the status of art. It was entertainment pure and simple. That some film has indeed achieved the status of art is both inarguable and laudable, but it would be unwise to denigrate that which aims to merely titillate or entertain.

This film was made as its company Academy Pictures was about to close for good. Film deals with the devil trying to find a wife via two evil devil worshipping people. Not much horror to this tale as most of the cast spends most of the films running time out of their clothes and getting it on. The absolute worst of an already terrible series of films. 1 out of 10.

This extremely cheap waste of time is more concerned with gratuitous female nudity than anything of interest in the so-called "plot." Two donut-eating, wisecracking cops enlist the aid of retired, now good warlock Will Spanner (Jerry Spicer) to help track down a Satanic serial killer. The evil leader is an old, dyed-blonde bar owner with a huge forehead who sends out a beautiful vixen (Shannon McLeod) and a muscular guy with a "nice butt" (Craig Stepp) to seduce, then sacrifice lots of silicone-enhanced blonde bimbos.

If you think the acting, photography, dialogue and lighting are bad, just wait until you see the FX. Scenes of belly buttons turning into Satanic stars and a solar eclipse that eventually shoots laser beams (?!) are among the worst effects ever to hit the small screen. Spicer having sex in the bathtub with his wife (Debra Beatty) is the only memorable part.

Do yourself a favor and forget this awful direct-to-video series even exists!

Director Julie Davis also scripted, and shows none of the talent that made her indy romantic-comedy I LOVE YOU, DON'T TOUCH ME! (1997) so enjoyable.

Willy warlock returns in this 6th outing but is played by yet another actor.

It tells the story of Willy brought in to assist the police in a case regarding a serial killer targetting women who wear crosses around their necks.

As is the case with the past couple of films the franchise seems to have heavily gone in the T&A direction. When you have keywords like "Sex on the floor" and "Fondling breasts" it's probably best you go in with low expectations.

I think out of the six thus far this is the worst, the plot is baffling and the movie as a whole really doesn't have any redeeming qualities. For horny teenagers I can even confirm that the nudity is incompetently done alike everything else.

Witchcraft VI can be tossed on the pile as another mess of a film.

The Good:

Nope

The Bad:

Dreadful sfx

Daft story

Cast are pretty bad

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

When film creators can't even do nudity right they should probably seek employment elsewhere

Witchcraft VI: The Devil's Mistress (1994)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Detectives Lutz and Garner are investigating the strange murders of three women found in the nude with no apparent death marks. The only thing connecting the victims is that they had gold crosses with them. With no one else to turn to, they ask Will Spanner (Jerry Spicer) to help them with the case and sure enough it leads back to Satan worshipers. WITCHCRAFT VI is yet another bad film from this bad series but like the previous five, this one here just has something about it that makes it watchable. Perhaps it's the non-stop humping that keeps it moving but even this after a while starts to get old. I think it's fairly interesting that we're six movies in and the same character has appeared in each of these. As silly as it might sound, this actually gives the series some familiar territory for the viewer because each time you start a new movie you really don't have to get familiar with new characters and instead you're just continuing the connection with this lawyer who always has a hot girlfriend and is always getting involved with the Devil. The performances here are actually pretty good with Spicer doing a nice job in the role as Will and both Kurt Allen and John Holiday are good as the detectives. As far as the women goes, it's clear that the casting call was for big breasted ladies who wouldn't mind showing their bodies. I think I counted at least six women that were naked before the 25-minute mark and the film hadn't even gotten to the major sex scenes yet! Oh yeah, isn't it kinda strange that pretty much the only scene that doesn't feature nudity is one in a strip joint? This here is clearly just for fans of the series or those nutty enough like myself to try and sit through all of them. Those not fitting either of those categories are best to leave this one alone.