Family Fundamentals

As a conservative Christian, I'll admit I was mildly uneasy walking into the movie theater about how the film maker would handle the subject matter. However, I needn't have worried--he documents both viewpoints very fairly. The movie challenges nobody to change their point of view--but it challenges everybody to understand each other a little better.

I am the daughter of Bill and Welda Koenig. I have been with my wife for almost 13 years and we have 2 beautiful children. Until very recently, I had an ongoing (though awkward) relationship with my parents. They had accepted my children as their grandchildren, and visitations mostly centered around the kids. I have never been blind to my parents' views, that they consider my relationship an abomination, and my wife and I have come very close many times to cutting off ties with them. When my son was born in 2005, they seemed to come around, and our conversations became more civil. Then the Proposition 8 debacle came up. I had a very bad cold the Monday before the vote. I had very little voice, but I talked to my mother on the phone. I spent 20 minutes pleading with her to abstain from a Yes vote. I didn't expect she would ever vote No, but I could live with an abstention. She refused. I have lived under their threats of "consequences" my whole life, and now the tables had turned. My sadness came at my mother's unwillingness to give an inch, even though her vote wouldn't have change the outcome. At that moment, her love for me seemed petty and conditional. I realized that her decisions have never been made for my family's best interests, neither our legal nor financial well-being. So I was going to do what she would never do for me: protect my children, vigorously, from any and all threats to their well-being. As everyone knows, a documentary only tells part of the story. The story goes on. Thanks to Arthur for giving voice to average people like me who've decided to live honestly. We continue to thrive despite the voices telling us to stay hidden, and in the end, we will win.

The description was pretty honest in that the documentary covered both sides of the debate. My confusion is what purpose was accomplished with this? One side makes a statement, but doesn't back it up with facts and vice versa. I am pretty sure I have seen documentaries that have included "editorial comments" from a reputable source. For example if someone says "these are three reasons for X" no matter how stupid, the "stupid" VIEWER is going to say in their mind "I agree with this, what is the problem?" To the person who knows it is factually wrong says in their mind "I already knew this and we are not going to change this (possibly ignorant) person's mind. Why am I watching this?" Just listening to people's pain and disagreement doesn't help me much.

This is an interesting idea which sadly drifts from its central notion: unpacking the beliefs of fundamentalist Christians intolerant of their children's homosexuality. Three families are examined, with varying degrees of success due to a lack of cooperation by two of them. Former Congressman Bob Dornan's feelings are a matter of public record, luckily, which rescues the segments with his former aide, who was like a son to him. The Mormon family either abandons the project at its outset, or cravenly manipulated their son and the filmmaker in order to make their point. This is a real tragedy as they seem to be the most venomous critics of homosexuality. The pacing and technical aspects are pretty shaky, and too much is given to exploring the hurt feelings of the children. Isn't their hurt rather obvious? The treatment they receive would elicit sympathy from anyone (aside from those likely to inflict these wounds in the first place). More time should have been given to fleshing out the objections of fundamentalists (some of which is done nicely in the extra features on the DVD). More time should have been given to refuting the misstatements of fact that they make in their condemnations. In short, compelling characters provide some heartbreaking drama as they find themselves in families where neither love nor hate are reciprocated. Could have been really illuminating, but strays into the comfort of coming-out war stories.

This documentary depicts three families where gay members are shunned, or made to feel that "reparative therapy" is the only way they will once again be accepted by their families. Arthur Dong, director of "Coming Out Under Fire" and "Licensed to Kill", films both sides of this issue with quiet grace and subtlety.