Shelter Island

Is there a movie category lower than Straight-to-video? If so, perhaps it's Straight-to-Showtime-at-3 a.m., which is where I caught this little oddity. I won't waste any time on how idiotic the picture is since others have already explained it well--but I did want to comment on a "technique" so badly executed that I had to pinch myself to confirm what I was seeing and hearing. Midway though the film, for what seems like 20-30 minutes, there are passages of dialogue and voice-over narration that are accompanied by the actors talking, or mouthing words since you can't actually hear them--you can only hear the voiceovers. It seems like you've stumbled onto the worst dubbing job of all time. The actors appear to converse, and separate dialogue is heard on the soundtrack. I think the director was trying for artiness, a way of conveying events in a way parallel to the action on screen. Or something. We'd have to dig out THE CREEPING TERROR to find another botch job of this calibre.

Other reviews on IMDb give an accurate enough summary of the plot. But they seem to have been expecting something like The Usual Suspects. Direct-to-video movies are usually inferior, with respect to production values and acting, than theatrical releases (poor as the latter generally are). So we shift into different critical gear when we watch a non-theatrical release. And by these standards, Shelter Island is not bad at all.

The movie is by no means a "lesbian skin flick," and the scenes of (partial) nudity are few and brief in duration. The story line is entirely coherent, and the twists -some maybe predictable, some not- are quite entertaining. The acting is far above average for the kind of film we are talking about. Ally Sheedy puts more into her character than the writing would suggest, and in fact all the actors acquit themselves more than competently.

Shelter Island moves along at a brisk pace, is snappily photographed and offers a few fun twists. This is what you'd call "a good popcorn movie." The movie gets 8 out of 10.

Whatever happened to Eighth Wonder singer Patsy Kensit after she appeared in the high voltage, high energy thriller 'Lethal Weapon 2'? Well, she went on to appear in a number of okay pictures (the acclaimed 'Twenty-One' and the sweet romantic comedy 'Does This Mean We're Married') and some truly terrible TV-movie-type fodder such as 'Kill Cruise.' Unfortunately, this crass production falls into the latter camp and, despite some good talent and a serviceable script, the movie is betrayed and let down with an overabundance of (blatently obvious) body-double nudity (that would seem more in place in a soft porn production) and a (supposidly) "surprise twist' that is telegraphed early in the movie. Kensit plays the lesbian girlfriend Alex, to Alley Sheedy's motivational speaker character, who persuades her girlfriend to escape the big city after she is brutally attacked. The two seek the solitude on an island and tension arises with the arrival of an injured man, a violent storm that knocks out the phone lines and ferry services to the mainland and the almost voyeuristic fascination with the girls displayed by the local sheriff. Kensit was the reason why I picked up this movie, that and the promise of an okay suspense thriller, but her talent is once again squandered in a movie that fails to deliver any real tension.

Caught this tonight on cable and have to say it surprised me - didn't figure out what was really going on, even though I knew that what was being shown wasn't the entire story, and I have seen so many films like this, where what you see isn't exactly what you get, where you can't take anything at face value, so it shouldn't have fooled me. But it did. It's the sort of movie that leaves you shaking your head at the end, wondering why you didn't see it coming (no pun intended).

Sheedy, Baldwin and Kensit turn in clever performances, with enough eroticism to keep you watching and wondering where the heck it's actually going. I don't know if it would be as enjoyable in a movie theater, but seeing it at home from the perspective of my couch was a decent experience.

This movie is an elementary school production. Everything about it exudes an immaturity and lack of sophistication that can be overwhelming if you aren't expecting it. Still, I suspect some people can enjoy this freshman effort. It all depends on which part of the audience you belong.

Are you one of the people obligated to like it, like parents watching their child up on the stage? Are you an Ally Sheedy fan filled with false hope that she's finally making a return to decent film like High Art? Are you a lesbian sexploitation fan anticipatory that maybe this bad sex scene isn't the only one in the film? Or are you that diehard thriller fan who, during the end credits, is still looking for a redeemable moment of tension? If you could potentially be any of the above. stay away.

I suspect most of you will be the bored sibling in the crowd who was forced into watching this crummy play by a loved one. If this happens to be you, try your best to endure it, and maybe later seek sweet revenge by subjecting this loved one to a bad film you enjoy.

And the few of you who might genuinely have a blast with this film, are the teenagers who sneak into the back of the auditorium to make fun of the little kids on-stage. For you guys, this movie is great riffing fodder. A true treat to the MST3K crowd, and only for you can I recommended Shelter Island.