Busty Cops

Okay, so here's a soft-core film with some a couple good jokes and plenty of female nudity. And hey, there's even outtakes at the end!

Look, this isn't Shakespeare and, thank God, it doesn't try to be. It's a paper-thin plot full of excuses to have random scenes of women with fake breasts groping each other and smearing food products and soap on each other. It's pretty much all girl-on-girl stuff and that's about it. If all you are looking for is a movie to jerk your gherkin to, you pretty much found it. And as far as comedic soft-core films, this is probably one of the funnier/better ones.

If the movie is boring you, try this drinking game to get yourself totally sloshed. Every time a character breaks the fourth wall (looks at/talks to the camera or establishes that an audience is present), take a shot. 45 minutes into it and you'll be tanked.

What could have been just another soft-core excursion into R-rated erotica is in actuality an hilarious sexy comedy. Starring Internet babes like Nikki Nova, Sunny Leone, Deanna Merryman, Angela Little and even super hot adult porn star Jesse Jane, BUSTY COPS is chock full of funny jokes, hilarious skits and knockout naked ladies. The chocolate syrup scene is worth the price of admission alone. And check out the Dali Llama moment. Believe me, this is unlike any other flick of this type. You'll be laughing one moment, then getting hot flashes the next. Debut director Harold Blueberry has made an instant classic. Let's hope he keeps them coming. Can BUSTY COPS 2 be far behind.

If you enjoy surgically enhanced breasts, then you must watch this show. If you do not enjoy surgically enhanced breasts, then you are not likely to enjoy the show. I think there is very little more criteria for determining who will enjoy this and who will not, since the surgically enhanced breasts are nearly the entire show.

As for plot, it is done with a sense of humor and does have the advantage of comedy. I think the plot could have been written during dinner with a few friends having a little fun.

The women are good comedians. As for acting, let's just assume that they knew it would be more humorous if they did not act well. Okay?

Watching 'Busty Cops' reminded me why the T&A genre died off. There's no need for flicks like these anymore. It's like getting in a time machine and going back to the mid 90's where we'd sit thru ninety minutes just for a few minutes of boobs. If we were lucky we'd get some bush or even decent comedy, scares or action. Maybe a passable story.

Not here. Not those latter elements. If you sit thru cheap examples of this genre - stuff from the likes of director Jim Wynorski - you know the score. It's wham bam thank you ma'am. You get a lot of boobs, softcore sex in a cheap, low energy package. Sometimes it's hot, most times it's not.

'Busty Cops' with it's main trio of ladies (Nikki Nova, Jesse Jane, Katie James) & a flimsy murder whodunit isn't attempting to pass itself off as a legit film, but the whole thing is barely erotic. Guys have much better avenues to see naked beautiful women now and I'm not talking about hardcore. Don't settle for this. Do better.

An open letter to Jim Wynorski:

In the 80's and earlier 90's you used to be such a good talent. But ever since the Clinton administration your product has been on a steady decline. Now I've seen "Busty Cops" and have lost all faith. I guess it takes talent to have that much nudity and still be not the least bit erotic or entertaining. Oh yeah, the outakes/fake interview to pad out the credits was horrid beyond belief. What has happened to you? That's a rhetorical question, as I never expect an answer to this rambling, I just had to get it off my chest. This is the last film I will ever see a 'movie' with your name attached to it, my friend.

My Grade: F

Where i saw it: Cinemax