Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em: The Movie

This movie would be hysterical if it weren't so darned earnest. Preachy and

holier than thou to the max, Hammer seems to want to take a musical approach

to the "growing up in the ghetto" films so brilliantly parodied in the Wayans Bros. "Don't Be a Menace." One scene in particular features Hammer as the Revered

Pressure that lasts in a disjointed, clearly improvised (poorly) rant for close to 20 minutes. We see a Korean couple played off in very stereotypical fashion and an overly simplistic approach to cleaning up the streets. There is also more than one occasion where Hammer seems to leer at a little girl shaking her stuff that is just creepy and another scene where a small boy gets his brains blown out (off camera). I'm sure Hammer thought the latter would be poignant, but it elicits laughter in the audience. The songs can be found on the album Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em and they're not very well integrated into the plot. (If taken literally the first would have to be assumed to last for hours.) A conceited effort from one of popular music's least talented loudmouths.

This movie is clearly about the epic, nay, cosmic struggle of good and evil, that films like "Full Metal Jacket" or "Apocalypse Now" can't even begin to address. Even though Hammer is a rapper, and generally that would be a bad thing, this film depicts him as the sword of justice fighting the evil drug dealers of Oakland with his "posse". Hammer plays dual roles in this film: one as himself (i.e. MC Hammer) and another as the Reverend Pressure who is known for his jaw dropping performances. This leitmotif is similar to the star turns of Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in films like "Coming to America" where they play multiple characters – except that Hammer is clearly better. This film also has a really important message: say yes to Jesus and Hammer, no to drugs and violence. I cannot imagine a film that does a better job of capturing the essence of the nineties, except perhaps "Cool as Ice". Sadly, however, this film was overlooked by the Academy.

Without a doubt sending out an inspiring message to the youth of all our great cities around the globe. Just to free your legs and to dance and rap your way through diputes and even into a girls heart. Absolutely fantastic bombastic, watch it any time you wanna get giggy.