Seven Mummies

Nothing special here. A low budget film shot in a low budget place. Bad guys try and take something from worse guys without understanding the price they may have to pay. Escaped convicts fall upon an old Spanish treasure protected by Priests that have become mummies whose soul purpose in death is to protect the treasure. The acting was OK for the most part. The script was nothing special. The camera work was low budget. If you want to see a bunch of people and monsters killing and being killed, then this is for you. Moderate amount of gore. Cerina Vincent was hot in her usual white muscle shirt. Danny Trejo was good, as always, in his character. Billy Drago was born with, and perfected, that creepy bad guy image.

First let me say I'm sorry for your pain and suffering if you have already seen this movie. The movie is no more than a poor at best attempt of an ongoing subject, Mummies and their curse. I'm still trying to figure out where the title "7 Mummies" comes from. Unless I missed something, which is possible since I had no problem going to the fridge without pausing this waste of time, I only counted 2 mummies. If the movie itself wasn't enough to make you cringe, the soundtrack will at the very least will give you a "headbanging headache".The bottom line is that if it weren't for Cerina Vincent and the "Vamp Tramps",it wouldn't have even gotten a 3! The best part of this movie other than looking Ms Vincent was the fact that it is only 80 minutes long. Good thing, I don't think I could have taken much more.

The title says it all. Danny Trejo isn't the only similarity between FDTD and this bad copycat. The plot is so similar, the events almost exactly the same, it's almost funny.

It's starts like a action/criminal movie, and then, in some dark bar, it suddenly turns into a horror type of thing. Sounds familiar???

And it even isn't done very good. The acting is poor, the creatures are poor, hell, even Danny Trejo is poor.

So, as a horror fan, I can only give you 1 advice: Keep away from this movie. Actually, keep away from all movies that have "mummy" in their title

Themovie opens with a horribly lame scene - two men in the desert, no town nearby, no horses, no provisions, and dragging a casket. Right! This is the opening to what becomes and even worse attempt at film making. Poor dialogue, poor story, unbelievable circumstance, and mediocre - at best - make up effects make this one big bomb of a stinker. Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of horror and have been since near birth. Love low-budget films since they nearly all contain the raw, gritty edge that Hollywood films almost always lack. But 7 Mummies is not worth anyones time let alone the money they spent to make this. The direction is just plain bad with overly long cut scenes and poor angles that do no justice to the forced story line. Just a big bunch of YUCK!

Two haggard old men are dragging a coffin full of gold coins out in the desert, long story short they're killed. Fast forward to present day which has 6 convicts escaping when their transport crashes in the same aforementioned desert. Taking the hot prison guard hostage, and on their way to the border of Mexico, they run into an elderly Indian (played by Danny Trejo!!) who tells them of how riches beyond their wildest dreams could be had buried under an old ghost town. They decide to take a detour to get this gold while Trejo laughs... for minutes on end. However all the denizens of said town are a little long in the fang, to say the least. The community headed by Drake (good ol' Billy Drago) has plans for these convicts. This flick while never something even approaching what someone might deem good, was enjoyable enough...up to a point. That point being when all the illogical nonsense going on got so high that I didn't know what the hell was going on, much less cared. It would have made an interesting 20 minute short MAYBE, but as a feature film, it meandered too often. Drago was the main draw for this one, as Danny Trejo, normally great, is just plain weird in the movie. Too make matters worse the nudity is very poorly lit.

Eye Candy: it's very darkly lit, but Ananda St. James does bare her humongous rack

My Grade: D+