Tre Smith credited as playing...
Security Guard
- Tom Baker: [Getting tickets] One please.
- Tom Baker: [Goes inside the theater and runs into Jimmy] What are you doing here?
- Jimmy Murtaugh: Well, if you must know, I'm still here to make sure this movie is appropriate for our children.
- Tom Baker: It's rated G.
- Theatre Patron: [to Tom] Shh.
- Theatre Patron: Shh.
- Kid in Theater: [to Tom] Sir, could you please sit down?
- Tom Baker: [Whispers] Yeah.
- Jimmy Murtaugh: What are you doing here so early?
- Tom Baker: Father of the daughter always arrives early for pickup duty, everybody knows that.
- Security Guard: [Waves his flashlight at Tom and Jimmy] Excuse me... Is there a problem here?
- Jimmy Murtaugh: Yes, this man's harassing me.
- Tom Baker: This man's guilty of overparenting.
- Security Guard: If you two can't keep it down, I'm gonna throw both of you out.
- Jimmy Murtaugh: [He and Tom see Sarah and Eliot down through the balcony and attempt to be nosy] What, he's stretching.
- Tom Baker: He's doing the move.
- Jimmy Murtaugh: What move?
- Tom Baker: [Scoots Jimmy back] You sit in the theater. You fake a yaaaaawn... . oh boy, am I tired? Hand comes over. Then a little while later, head comes over giving an extra reach there, right?
- Theatre Patron: [Grinning as she sees Tom and Jimmy] Mom, look... those two down there.
- Tom Baker: See what I mean?
- Theatre Patron: Oh, sweet Jesus.
- Security Guard: [Waves flashlight again at them] Warning number 2.
- Jimmy Murtaugh: He was showing me the move. Do you mind?
- Tom Baker: [Places his hand off Jimmy's shoulder] You don't know the move?
- Jimmy Murtaugh: No, I don't know the move! I wasn't a hormone crazed Romeo when I was a kid! I am self-control, I am social sophistication!
- Theatre Patron: Psst... be quiet down there!
- Tom Baker: Your son has raging hormones like every other male teenager.
- Jimmy Murtaugh: Meaning what?
- Tom Baker: Meaning on a sophistication scale, that's 1 step above ape.
- Jimmy Murtaugh: Are you calling my son an ape?
- Tom Baker: He's an ape like every other male teenager.
- Jimmy Murtaugh: Take it back! Take it! Take it back.
- Tom Baker: Were you gonna poke me?
- Jimmy Murtaugh: Because you were asking for it!
- Tom Baker: [He and Jimmy stand up, blocking the theater screen. Everybody furiously tells them to sit down] Well, if I'm asking for it, why don't you give me two? Come on, give me a poke!