The original Black Christmas is a cult favorite, if only because of Olivia Hussey and the little well-known anecdote that it inspired John Carpenter to write Halloween. Sadly, since the 70's the "teen slasher" genre has been done to death (no pun intended), and whilst films like You're Next and Happy Death Day attempt to breathe life into a stale formula, we haven't really seen a great slasher film this side of the noughties.
This brings us to 2019 and the latest Black Christmas remake, which desperately wants you to take notice of its existence. It wants you to know that it's sincere, and hip and "cool" because it taps into the feminist movement. The first remake of Black Christmas was torn apart by critics in 2006 for its gratuitous violence and paper-thin female characters. The latest remake, helmed by Sophia Takal (who also contributed to the screenplay) fixes that by giving the female characters empowerment and an agenda. Think Charlies Angels with a bit of When a Stranger Calls and half a dozen fairy lights thrown into a slop bucket and you sort of get the idea. I am all for strong female characters. Laurie Rhodes from the aforementioned Halloween and Ripley from Alien are just two classic examples of empowered female leads in a horror franchise. Both of these characters are constantly one step ahead of the (usually male) antagonist and it reminds us that female characters are not only equal to their counterparts, but they often become a force to be reckoned with.
Black Christmas (2019) spends so much time telling us that the female characters are awesome that it forgets to develop any of their actual character. Most of the female characters might as well be referred to as "Girl 1" and "Girl 2" because their sole reason for being on screen is to be quickly bumped off in festive fashion. In a film that is clearly influenced heavily by the MeToo movement, to have such weak characters is detrimental to the whole saccharine message the film wants to convey.The male characters, most of whom are Fraternity Jocks are presented as either creepy, misogynistic or both. This film wants us to root for the female characters by forcing us to swallow the idea that the male characters are all wicked and degrading jerks. There is even a jolly festive song about sexual assault thrown in for good measure. This all makes no sense when a film about empowerment of the gender resorts to doing the very thing it is supposedly criticizing to get its point across.
Of the film itself, Black Christmas (2019) is decidedly dull. The original was a creepy little penny-dreadful type chiller. The remake was gratuitous fluff but it at least gave gore-hounds something to lap up. This one is both bloodless (physically and metaphorically) and is about as scary as a Christmas candy cane. The script feels like something out of a high school amateur production and most of the cast overact and chew the scenery. To achieve a PG-13 rating the violence was toned down so much that this feels like something off The Haunting Hour. All of the kills are off screen and so much time is spent with long and drawn out conversations between the female leads that even the short running time seems to drag on, and on and on. The film takes itself far too seriously, but then pulls the rug from under our feet right at the end when the "twist" is revealed. I won't spoil what happens, but the supernatural element that they tacked on did not make any sense and just made the whole thing even more ridiculous.
Watch the original. Heck, even go back to the 2006 remake, but skip this turkey.
