Dangerous Chucky Dolls

A lifelong fan of Charles Band... or at least since the first Puppet Master film, I am always first to pick up his latest movie, regardless of how silly it might seem. I just got a copy of Dangerous Worry Dolls in the mail last night and, without the slightest hesitation, quickly popped it in the player.

The verdict? Its sadly time for Charles Band to ditch the "tiny things do bad stuff" storyline he's been milking for the past 20 years. This one is certainly the final nail in the teeny, tiny coffin.

First, the good: Band is DIRTY in this flick! His past few films have bordered on PG-13; but this one has some really racy stuff (full frontal nudity! sodomy!) and nice, albeit short, gore gags. The lead actress is pretty easy on the eyes, too.

And that's about it.

Now, the bad: The plot is a total mess, with no real direction and numerous story lines leading absolutely nowhere. A nervous girl with a permanent worried look on her face is so over-the-top, she becomes hilarious. While there is some gore, not ONE of the deaths takes place on-screen. Out of the four titular one-inch-tall "worry dolls", only one is used - and we have NO idea where its power comes from or why it does what it does.

And the REALLY bad: Hardly anyone in the film notices the golfball-sized pimple growing on the lead character's head, leading to some unintentionally hilarious scenes. It also randomly changes in size and looks totally different in all close-ups. A "twist" involving a guard is one of the most embarrassing moments in any Full Moon movie - ever.

And the REALLY, REALLY bad? In a terrible From Beyond ripoff, a tiny, 1/4-inch tall screaming skull pokes out of the main character's forehead, forcing her to do evil deeds. The sight and sound of it, alone, is roll-on-the-floor hilarity.

View this one at your own risk, people. Its a small step in the right direction, especially after Doll Graveyard (which had NO redeeming qualities), but still far from Band's heyday.

This brilliant, over-the-top dark-humored romp is sure to please fans of both the horror and cult genres. With an original (albeit predictable) plot, great special FX, shameless over-acting and numerous tongue-in-cheek lines, this uproarious little gem is destined to be a cult classic. Despite the rather brief plot summary on the DVD, you'll be pleasantly surprised...I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of this latest Charles Band installment. I had not been an avid fan before, but I've got to give Mr. Band "two thumbs up" on this one. The "worry dolls" were exceptionally disturbing....keep up the good work, Charles! Eight stars.

First off, let me tell you that I can not compare this to earlier works of Mr. Brand, because I do not have them clearly in mind right now (and I haven't seen all his movies either). What I can say though, is that this movie is pretty decent. Especially if you consider the title and it's theme/story.

It's not breakout great or anything but it is entertaining enough for a small budget movie. The actors are decent considering the material and the movie does not deteriorate into complete camp and absurdity (which you might find to be a bad thing, I guess). Low budget horror and nice effects (though most is off camera) works in favor of this movie.

Eva (Jessica Morris), a young single mother, apparently has been a very naughty girl because she finds herself in prison for being part of an armed robbery where the clerk was killed. To top it off, apparently she isn't liked very well, as the opening scene of the film has a group of the resident bull-dyke looking inmates trying to shove Eva's hand in the garbage disposal for refusing to be part of the drug ring. The confrontation is broken up by Carl, the prominent guard, who then proceeds to beat the crap out of Eva himself, as he has a habit of doing with several of the female inmates. When Eva complains to the prison warden...wait....I'll let YOU guess and how the prison warden acts. Is she nice and understanding?? Of course not because that would go against the cliché and stereotype that this film seems to thrive on. Instead, she is a cold, heartless bitch as we have seen in countless other prison-themed films. Eva's daughter soon visits and gives her mother a gift...a tin of Worry Dolls that apparently if you confide in, they make your worries go away. That night, Eva confides in the dolls, and while she is sleeping, one of them comes alive and crawls in her ear (seriously), apparently possessing her. She wakes up with an entirely new "Screw It" attitude and begins killing off those who taunt her due to her possession.

First, there is a lot going on in this film. Too much for such a low-budget DTV film that nobody seems to know exists. There are side stories involving the head guard, which it somewhat mind-boggling in its stupidity. We also get a love-interest story involving Eva and another guard, and whiney female inmate who is also picked on by the group. The problem is that these do nothing to drive the already clichéd plot except slow the pace. The gore is virtually non-existent, so that certainly won't keep the interest of gore hounds. The acting verges from terrible to OK. I am actually surprised at Jessica Morris, who was TERRIBLE in "Bloody Murder." She is actually decent here and seemed to really get into the role. Another problem is the clichés and stereotypes that abound the plot. We have every stereotypical prison inmate you have seen present here. They are cruel, the prison warden is crooked, and the guard has his way with the inmates he choses. We have seen it all before and it makes for some pretty boring and worthless characters. The end of the film will have some laughing, simply because one special effect that has the worry doll emerge from Eva's forehead and start grunting and moaning. Again, seriously.

I probably put too much effort into this review, as a "I thought it sucked" would have sufficed. It's an example of a film with a cool sounding premise that is executed in all the wrong ways. It's lazy, boring, goreless, scareless, and ridiculous.

My Grade: F

I was actually kind of excited about this movie, it had an interesting plot idea, and sounded pretty original. And at the same time, it kept the whole "Full Moon Killer Dolls" theme going. Even the trailer made it look pretty decent, with an obvious homage to From Beyond. However, the movie moves extremely slow, and is often uninteresting. There is a severe lack of gore, and not much comedy. And a movie like Full Moon should be funny, because you know it is not going to be a genius film. The acting is okay, not awful, not very good. The characters did not seem most likable to me, therefore I didn't really care if anyone died or not. However, the ending is kind of cool. It's just too bad, this movie had some good ideas, but lack of action and good characters make it only okay. Hey, it was better than Petrified.