You May Not Kiss the Bride

Expectations are big when it comes to movies. That being said I went into this with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. There was actual jokes and some thought put into the plot. Not much...but enough for it to be passable entertainment. It's a pretty random selection of character actors who all add some humor. Rob Schneider is hit or miss but he wasn't too bad in this. Anyways, go in with low expectations and you might be entertained.

A rather silly, uneven, flawed but appealing romantic comedy where pet photographer Bryan gets forced to marry a Croatian woman Masha, by her crime lord father so she can get fast tracked citizenship and make amends for injuring the family cat. Strangely Masha does not have much of a Croatian accent.

In order to convince the immigration service, they are sent off to honeymoon to Tahiti. Of course Bryan is told to keep his hands to himself as this is just a paper marriage and his father's henchman, Vinnie Jones has first tabs on Marsha. However Bryan is smitten with Marsha but she is kidnapped and a ransom is demanded. Bryan with some help tries to rescue her, but her family thinks he is involved in the kidnap.

The film has lots of flaws. Why does Marsha's father try to bribe the Immigration Service officials? Why does he want his daughter to marry Vinnie Jones when Marsha despises him. Why does Mena Suvari lust after Bryan and act like a stalker?

Its only the charms of the two leads and Tia Carrere that propels this uneven film. Rob Schneider does his unfunny shtick as if he is still in an Adam Sandler movie. There is some beautiful scenery as the film was shot in Hawaii, there are a few star cameos and its surprisingly sprightly despite the problems with the screenplay.

Bryan Lighthouse (Dave Annable) is a pet photographer in Chicago and Tonya (Mena Suvari) is his clingy assistant. He is taken by a Croatian mobster after an incident with his wife's cat. Bryan is forced to marry his daughter Masha Nikitin (Katharine McPhee) in a visa marriage. Brick (Vinnie Jones) is the gangster's henchman. Bryan's mother (Kathy Bates) actually tells him to marry her. The girl turns out to be nice and normal. INS agents are on the case. During their tropical honeymoon, they encounter the weird helicopter pilot Ernesto (Rob Schneider) and his cousin waitress Lani (Tia Carrere).

I have never heard of this movie. I'm surprised at the good cast. The extensive cast is not actually bad except for Schneider. By this point, he should come with a warning. Funny enough, he's probably the only true comedian of the bunch. Quite frankly, I can see this as an Adam Sandler movie with all of his gang. I have never heard of Rob Hedden. He seems to have been a Hollywood journeyman. The main issue is that non of this is actually funny. Annable and McPhee are not comedic powerhouses. At best, they're the straight men in a comedy. They need an actual comedian and Schneider is not close. Also I'm a little tired of Annable. This is not so bad that it becomes funny again. It's trying to be a fun silly comedy and it doesn't have that. On the other hand, Hawaii does look beautiful.

Review: This movie is more silly that funny. I found the leading character pretty annoying, and Vinnie Jones is playing his usual cockney hard nut, but if you don't take the movie seriously then it's just harmless fun. The storyline is really unbelievable, and the ending was pretty corny, but that's what you expect from a Rom-Com nowadays. I was surprised to see Kathy Burke in such a weak movie, but she didn't play a major role. As I hadn't really heard of this movie before, I didn't have high expectations so I wasn't massively disappointed. Average!

Round-Up: If this film had a leading character that wasn't so dumb, then it might have been half decent, but he just got on my nerves after a while. It's obvious that the director didn't really think the storyline through that well because it got ridiculous after a while. It just goes from one weird scene to the next, which makes its unpredictable in some ways, but silly in another. It was a waste of a good cast, except for the leading character, but you can tell that there wasn't a big budget so it shouldn't have been a massive lose.

Budget: $6million Worldwide Gross: N/A

I recommend this movie to people who are into there silly Rom-Com's about an arranged marriage that goes totally wrong. 3/10

I actually enjoyed this romantic comedy. Sure it was as predictable as they come, but still it provided some good entertainment. The movie had all that you could want, more or less, in a movie; comedy, laughs, action, gun fights, car chases, and great scenery.

The story in "You May Not Kiss the Bride" is about Bryan Lighthouse (played by Dave Annable) who works as a pet photographer, who lives a fairly unromantic life. His mother (played by Kathy Bates) is breathing down his neck, asking for him to get married and give her grandchildren. One day, while on the job, Bryan's assistant Tonya (played by Mena Suvari) cause an accident involving a client's cat. The owner of the cat is the wife of a Croatian mobster (played by Ken Davitian), and he forces Bryan into marrying his daughter, Masha, (played by Katharina McPhee) so she can become an American citizen. But the mobster's minion (played by Vinnie Jones) is in love with Masha and doesn't approve of this marriage. The 'happily married' couple embarks on a fake honeymoon to a tropical resort where things get out of hand.

I found the story to be rather enjoyable and fun. It had a bunch of great moments. And the story was really helped along by the cast of great actors and actresses they had brought in. Especially Dave Annable was doing a tremendous job in this movie. But also Rob Schneider (playing Ernesto) and Tia Carrere (playing Lani) was doing good jobs as well. The story is fun to watch, and it has just the right amount of romance and comedy to it.

The characters in the movie were well-played and had good depths and personalities. Each were given good time to shine on the screen, and no one really came off as drones or generic characters.

I loved the idea they had come up with when one the kidnappers got that laminating resin thrown on his and the bucket was removed from his face. I was laughing so hard at the result of that. It was just brilliant.

If you enjoy romantic comedies, then you should check out "You May Not Kiss the Bride". It has a great love story, it is filmed in really beautiful locations, and it is great fun to watch. Don't' miss out on this one.