rwvbgfnj

A serial killer takes his daughter to a concert. OK. Let's cast Lady Gaga as the star attraction. Boss, we can't afford that. OK, the director's daughter is available. Great! Who cares that she has the charisma of oatmeal on white toast? Make the deal. We need someone like Hopkins or that dude from Silence of the Lambs to play the serial killer! He's not available, boss. OK, let's get one of the boys from Pearl Harbor. Wait a minute, he can't act. Don't care, he's free. OK, boss, we'll book him. Do we have any money left for an actual screen writer? No, boss, we blew it all on plastic costumes for the concert backup singers. No problem, I'll write the screenplay myself. Save a lot of cash that we can blow on limousine rentals and dancing lessons for my kid. Never mind the massive plot holes. You got it, boss. We'll cover our costs just with the streaming contracts. By the time people figure out this film is straight trash, we'll already be in the black.

Starts with a good premise: Confederates hid gold in Montana. Let's go get it! And there's a bad guy! He's bad. And there's other downtrodden people. They're good! And there's a multiethnic, multicultural settlement. Yay! And there's a complicated father-son subplot. And a kidnapping! And some musical performances. And some bad singing.

Confused? You will be.

Dialogue? Yes, there is dialogue. Is it stiff? You bet!

Acting? You bet. There are actors doing acting. Is it good acting? Yes! Given what they had to work with in terms of dialogue and plot, for sure. In fact, all of these actors should be given awards for trying so hard, despite the poor hand they were dealt.

I paid $6 to rent this film. If I had feelings, they'd be hurt.