JZvezda
Joined Feb 2003
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Reviews38
JZvezda's rating
For a scientifically-engineered super-dog that was supposed to be the answer to petit crime, CHOMPS was a chump.
All I ever saw Chomps do was sit, or walk, or run. Or run, then walk, then sit... and then get back up again and stretch, and then walk, and then jog to K-Tel dance hits. And sometimes it had all the answers to the daily Jumbo. But mostly it just sat a lot.
All I am saying is: In a Celebrity Death Match, Chomps couldn't take out Mr. Bigglesworth.
All I ever saw Chomps do was sit, or walk, or run. Or run, then walk, then sit... and then get back up again and stretch, and then walk, and then jog to K-Tel dance hits. And sometimes it had all the answers to the daily Jumbo. But mostly it just sat a lot.
All I am saying is: In a Celebrity Death Match, Chomps couldn't take out Mr. Bigglesworth.
Great stuff. Two quibbles though--
The Isle of Misfit Toys. They were all sent there because they had some malfunction or gross-deformity. The fish flew. The train had square wheels. There was a queeny-toy named Charlie-In-The-Box. All of their defects were plain & obvious. So:
What was wrong with the doll?
I can't figure it out. She had all 4 extremities. She had two eyes, a nose, a mouth and fabulous yarn hair. What was her damage? What made her such an unloved misfit? My sister Horabeth says that the dollie was a misfit because she didn't have boobies. But I counter that by insisting pre-school dolls *never* have boobies. Was it that she cried? Couldn't be. They make dollies that cry! Was it her outfit? Maybe. But a dollie in a really tacky jumper does not a misfit make!
I contend that there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with that doll. She must have went out ice-fishing one day and crashed upon that awful island with all those venomous, bitter, loser-toys who lied to her and turned her into a nut-case. It's just another example of the losers trying to bring the pretty people down. Jerks.
2nd quibble: Santa rescues all of the misfit-toys on Christmas Eve, packs them on his sleigh, and finds them all loving homes. That means a lot of kids got some broken-sh*t that year.
Is Santa saintly or sadistic?
The Isle of Misfit Toys. They were all sent there because they had some malfunction or gross-deformity. The fish flew. The train had square wheels. There was a queeny-toy named Charlie-In-The-Box. All of their defects were plain & obvious. So:
What was wrong with the doll?
I can't figure it out. She had all 4 extremities. She had two eyes, a nose, a mouth and fabulous yarn hair. What was her damage? What made her such an unloved misfit? My sister Horabeth says that the dollie was a misfit because she didn't have boobies. But I counter that by insisting pre-school dolls *never* have boobies. Was it that she cried? Couldn't be. They make dollies that cry! Was it her outfit? Maybe. But a dollie in a really tacky jumper does not a misfit make!
I contend that there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with that doll. She must have went out ice-fishing one day and crashed upon that awful island with all those venomous, bitter, loser-toys who lied to her and turned her into a nut-case. It's just another example of the losers trying to bring the pretty people down. Jerks.
2nd quibble: Santa rescues all of the misfit-toys on Christmas Eve, packs them on his sleigh, and finds them all loving homes. That means a lot of kids got some broken-sh*t that year.
Is Santa saintly or sadistic?
Wren is a dirty birdie. A vagrant punkette skumbag who wears a checkered vinyl mini-skirt with blue pantyhose and pink hi-top Converse. Her only possessions are a busted-up portable TV and a trash bag full of really scary dipsy-dumpster punk fashions (think Pat Benatar 1981 or Punky Brewster 1984). She looks stupid, acts stupid, and is stupid. She's my hero.
Wren inadvertently wins the affection of this dorky kid with a big heart, who lives in his van and has really bad hair. This relationship functions because:
A) She's a filthy homeless mess, and he's got a van she can sleep in
B) He's into filthy homeless messes, and he's got a van she can sleep in
The dork doesn't understand why Wren lets him buy her drinks and then leaves the bar with other dorks. He keeps buying the drinks and pouts a lot. What a dork! Wren can't be bothered with the dork's unwanted advances and so she goes about stalking this skuzzy douche-bag who has a punk-band. And really bad hair.
All kidding aside, there are some touching moments in this film that kind of reach inside of you and warm your heart. Like when the dork lets the cracked-out hooker sit in his van because it's chilly outside, and in return she offers him a bee-jay and the tuna-sandwich her mom packed as a between-trick snack. That scene almost made me cry.
I love this movie so much that I had to go out and buy it. And I'm glad I did because now my sofa doesn't tip forward on that one side.
Wren inadvertently wins the affection of this dorky kid with a big heart, who lives in his van and has really bad hair. This relationship functions because:
A) She's a filthy homeless mess, and he's got a van she can sleep in
B) He's into filthy homeless messes, and he's got a van she can sleep in
The dork doesn't understand why Wren lets him buy her drinks and then leaves the bar with other dorks. He keeps buying the drinks and pouts a lot. What a dork! Wren can't be bothered with the dork's unwanted advances and so she goes about stalking this skuzzy douche-bag who has a punk-band. And really bad hair.
All kidding aside, there are some touching moments in this film that kind of reach inside of you and warm your heart. Like when the dork lets the cracked-out hooker sit in his van because it's chilly outside, and in return she offers him a bee-jay and the tuna-sandwich her mom packed as a between-trick snack. That scene almost made me cry.
I love this movie so much that I had to go out and buy it. And I'm glad I did because now my sofa doesn't tip forward on that one side.