pitchblackcoffee

I never write reviews, but this was such a bizarre movie that I wanted to reassure others who may have the same experience. Have you ever known someone that watches World Wide Wrestling shows, or attend WWE events? There's a shocked/stunned feeling you get when you hear they do, like, how can you possibly get pulled into the soap opera crap acting fakeness of it? That's the feeling I get from this show.. The guy pulls up the emotional range of a super bad Chinese soap opera, complete with tears, all while telling stories that I still have no idea what they mean. One of the most bizarre meaningless movies I've ever seen, and I'm in my 60s. I kept waiting for some semblance of order or cohesiveness to come through. But nothing. Was it a metaphor on life? Suicide? And all the while, doing manipulative magic and sometimes pretending like he really was reading people's thoughts? God this was one irritating and painfully odd thing to watch. I felt that same separation I feel when I find out people watch WWE and cry and feel emotion from it.

At a loss for words at just how bad this movie was. Think of the cheesiest dialog possible-think 1960s action comic books- and that's how they talked with one another through the film.

There's a scene around the 18-minute mark where the heads of all departments, lead by actor Cary Ewes, have a serious meeting in a giant room. There's a paragraph's worth of story that explains what the world is up against, that could be spoken out loud by one person. But nope: each of the 12 or so actors has a single line of this explanatory dialog with a closeup, followed quickly by the next actor's line of dialog and their closeup. A movie goer a few rows behind us yelled out "NO ONE TALKS THAT WAY!" and the theater erupted in laughter.

And the acting and overly seriously facial expressions is just as cheesy. What an oddly put together movie. I normally love Tom Cruise's movies. But this one was one of the few where we wanted to leave early.

I would've been good money that this was going to be one of the best movies I'd ever watch. But wow. First, the soundtrack plays *constantly* throughout the entire 3 hours. It never stops, and it's very loud, a true assault of the senses. Second, its pacing is crazy-making slow. Even 20 minutes into it, I was thinking 'this has got to get better, right?' Only it never does. The dialog is difficult to hear (largely over the loud music that never stops), and the storyline is not easy to follow. But besides all this, it's just a shockingly boring movie. I'm a big movie fan, and this will go down as one of the worst movies I've ever seen.